#30 聊聊情緒失控!口出惡言三字經(零極限/五分鐘冥想)

2020/12/08閱讀時間約 82 分鐘

每個禮拜四,晚上十點是我們媽媽團隊的例行會議
為什麼是晚上十點?
因為只有小孩睡著了,媽媽才有自己的工作時間
就這樣,每週一次,我們持續了將近兩年不間斷
但今天的會議很特別,不是討論網路行銷,而是討論原生家庭
因為有個媽媽夥伴說,他只要工作壓力特別大的時候,最會吼他的小孩….

我有個夢想,讓團隊成為一個媽媽網路創業的最佳平台
不只教你個人品牌、行銷、教你網路賺錢
還教媽媽處理身心靈的問題,讓所有小孩都可以充滿愛的長大
加入我們的團隊:https://www.jasons.consulting/athena21

貼心文字稿:
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Hello Jason
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歡迎你收聽傑森的不完美日記
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今天想要來跟大家聊聊
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關於原生家庭的東西
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為什麼會想聊這個
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因為今天忙得比較晚
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今天是禮拜四
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也是
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我們每週四晚上10點
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都是媽媽團隊例行的開會
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它是在線上舉行的
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為什麼是晚上10點
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因為其實只有在小朋友睡著的
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時候
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才是媽媽真正的時間
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所以我們都選在這個時間
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然後每週一次
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持續了將近兩年
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不間斷
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所以真的也非常佩服這些媽媽們
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Ok今天的會議很特別
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今天不是講網絡行銷
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也不是講如何銷售什麼的
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我們今天在討論
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關於原生家庭的東西
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因為有一個媽媽夥伴說
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他只要工作壓力特別大的時候
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因為特別像月底
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或者是有業績壓力的時候
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他就容易暴怒
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然後一暴怒的時候
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就會容易吼他的小孩
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然後他的小孩
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是一個很可愛的小女生
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才三歲
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他自己好玩的時候
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其實內心也會很糾結
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也是覺得很對不起
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但是每次想做相差改進的時候
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下次情緒一來的時候
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工作壓力一大就容易暴露
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所以他覺得
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他網絡創業的事業
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已經影響到他原本的初衷了
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因為他原本是想要
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在家裡好好帶小孩陪小孩成長
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然後到可能在家裡
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又可以多賺一點錢
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因為他是全職媽媽
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他覺得有點違背他的初衷了
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所以他想要稍微調整一下自己的
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節奏
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也許工作這邊也許不用放寬野心
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不用太太緊繃嗎
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或者是什麼之類的
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然後就聽他講
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然後也是覺得很揪心
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因為他是真的很愛他的女兒
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但是我聽聽
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其實就聽到一些關節點
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因為我以前
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大家不要看我這樣溫文的
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我以前也是非常容易暴露的人
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這是很多人都知道
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我跟我女朋友小躲在一起很久了
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15年
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但是在前10年
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或者是前11 12年的時候
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我脾氣非常暴躁的人
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就是常常他有有時候
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觸動到一些點的時候
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我異常的暴露
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然後暴露到什麼程度
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你們可以難能難以想象
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我會罵些非常難聽的話
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像是
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你怎麼不去死之類的
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甚至3日經5日經
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都標出來這樣子
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為什麼會變成這樣的人
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我就在回想
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我就發現
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比如說
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當我憤怒起來的時候
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我標的那些臟話
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其實跟我爸媽
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他們以前小時候吵架的時候
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講的臟話是一模一樣的
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而且語氣
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語調
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口吻都是一模一樣的
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那樣可怕
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因為我從小就立志
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不想變這樣的大人
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因為可能家裡的關係
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原生家庭的關係不太好
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常常吵架
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然後耳濡目染下
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就會變成這樣的人
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但是越不想變成這樣的大人的
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時候
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長大之後又克制不住
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也聽到很多社會案例
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可能爸媽離異
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立志說
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我以後不要有這樣的家庭
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不要讓我的小孩產生這樣的處境
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可是到長大之後
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還是會發生跟離婚之類的
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我怎麼會發生這樣的事情
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其實道理很簡單
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就是小孩子在6歲之前
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他就像一個海綿一樣
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你給他什麼
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他就吸收什麼
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所以他沒有選擇權
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就是當他的童年
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是發生在什麼樣情況的
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價值觀之下
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它就無條件的吸收無條件
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舉個例子
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像小堵我女朋友
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她的家庭
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其實非常可樂的
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從小家庭就非常單純
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然後父母也是非常的善於恩愛
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所以
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彼此之間愛的流動非常夠
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所以他的童年
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過了一個非常完整的童年
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他長大成人之後
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他的處事態度
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它的價值觀也是非常的樂觀
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也是非常的容易開心
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所以這都取決於他6歲的時候
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他的爸媽給了他一個非常美好的
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童年
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其實在這邊
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也不是說什麼物質上的
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也不是說什麼金錢上的
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就是單單的家人之間的相處
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或者是爸媽之間的相處
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家人彼此之間的相處
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小孩子是看得到的
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小孩子是最敏感的
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反過來說
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我舉我自己的例子
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可能小時候爸爸比較容易
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喜歡喝酒
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喝酒醉的時候回來
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就會有一些爭吵口角
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甚至會有一些打鬥
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小時候其實都是看在眼裡的
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然後聽到耳里的
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所以小趙其實非常害怕
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你害怕就會
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就會逃避
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就會想睡覺
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這樣子想著一覺醒來
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什麼事都沒了
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然後在這樣的環境成長之下
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然後想說長大成人
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我是個大人
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不會再害怕這種事
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其實不是
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當我在幾年前
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現在好非常多了
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我有一些治療於我自己的方法
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我試過很多
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不管是宗教類型的
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禪修類型
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心理類型的
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甚至正統的心理學
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阿德勒心理學
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我都試過
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我非常努力在這一塊
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但是
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當然這件事沒那麼容易
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所以我嘗試過很多方法
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就現在真的好非常多了
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但是你相信在幾年前嗎
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我一個一個二十30歲的大人
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當我晚上聽到有人在外面爭吵
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然後聽到那種碰撞聲關門
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很大力的聲音的時候
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我是會異常的害怕
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你知道嗎
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但是我心裡會是心悸的那種
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所以那個是潛意識的調動
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你完全不能控制
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甚至就像我剛才講的
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就是當你壓力特別大
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或者是身體不舒服的時候
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情緒說來就來
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你連壓都壓抑不住
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No
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很想說怎麼辦
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所以像媽媽夥伴
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他說怎麼辦
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是不是沒救他
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很愛他的女兒
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他就開始落淚
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像說這樣
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我是不是害了我女兒
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這樣子
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我就說其實一切都還有
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只有第一個就是他女兒才3歲
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對不對
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跟我們說6歲以前
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所以其實還是有機會可以輓回的
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第一個
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只要自己變好了
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小孩子也會跟著編好
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因為他是看著大人長大的
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所以其實他有機會
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如果你現在已經是成人了
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光是你意識到這個問題
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如果你跟我一樣
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之前有這樣的問題的話
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其實也不用擔心
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還是有機會
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輓救回來的
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所以因為我自己
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也是一個很好的例子
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我到現在脾氣沒有說到真的非常
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但是至少我不會再暴露
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我不會再標出那些
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很可怕的臟話之類的
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所以絕對是可以改進的
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我等一下就可以跟大家講一下
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我都試了哪些方法
235
00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,040
所以媽媽她就很恐慌
236
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,080
就說怎麼辦
237
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,880
我要怎麼幫助我自己
238
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:03,560
幫助我小孩
239
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,520
首先我覺得
240
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,600
我們聊這話題
241
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,080
聊到我們從10點開會
242
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,600
聊到12:30
243
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,480
所以今天的日期也比較晚一點
244
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,480
我就說
245
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,760
首先光是你意識到這個問題
246
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:20,920
他就有救了
247
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,520
因為比如說像我的爸媽
248
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:23,160
對不對
249
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,000
到現在可能都還沒有意識到
250
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:25,640
這個問題
251
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:26,920
對他們影響性
252
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,640
那就很難像正統的阿德勒心理學
253
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:30,920
就說
254
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,920
如果你要開始改變你的行為
255
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,600
你至少要花你的
256
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,000
你的年紀的一半
257
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,840
如果我今年30歲
258
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,360
我就花15年的時間
259
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,360
來改善我的我的脾氣
260
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,760
改善我的性格
261
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,560
但是不用擔心不用花那麼久
262
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,920
我有一些小方法
263
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,200
因為我試了很多方式
264
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,280
有一些小方法可以跟大家分享
265
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,680
所以上次有很多人
266
00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,200
就會抱怨
267
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,960
父母父母怎麼講
268
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,720
不聽什麼的
269
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:01,800
不是他們的問題
270
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,560
他們已經活了六十幾歲了
271
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,520
可能再老一點
272
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,560
可能70歲都有
273
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,720
他們可能要花30年的時間
274
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,200
來改變自己的性格
275
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,760
如果還沒有覺察到
276
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:12,640
需要改變的話
277
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,680
這樣第一點他想要改變
278
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,480
如果他不想改變的話
279
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,760
其實很多人這輩子就過了
280
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,520
他也沒關係
281
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,240
生氣的生氣
282
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,680
反正就是一個愛生氣的奶奶
283
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:24,960
愛生氣的阿公
284
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:25,800
這樣子
285
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000
也沒關係
286
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,800
但是因為媽媽她很想改變
287
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,040
所以我就跟他說
288
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,040
那你
289
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,000
你可以試試看我的做法
290
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,400
如果你相信我的話
291
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,440
因為我試過很多
292
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,800
我以前去過教會
293
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,400
去跟一起敬拜
294
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,560
有好很多
295
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,880
然後我試過
296
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:43,880
去禪修
297
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,200
或者去10日的觀影
298
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,320
你就去裡面進駐做10天
299
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,240
然後都不講話
300
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,360
然後吃素
301
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,760
然後是個正統的心理學療療法
302
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,720
像是什麼
303
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:55,840
有一本書很有名
304
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,800
叫做不要為小事發怒
305
00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,560
那裡面就有很多經典的方法
306
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,840
像是你聽過的
307
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,840
什麼生氣前先數個
308
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,920
12345678 9 10之
309
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:05,680
類的
310
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:06,640
很多方法
311
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,000
但是我覺得方法都
312
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,040
不是沒有
313
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:11,520
方法
314
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,400
應該建立在你的基礎之上
315
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,640
你基底沒有做好
316
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:18,560
這件事的時候
317
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:19,960
這些方法我覺得
318
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,080
對我來說
319
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,000
真的完全沒有用
320
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:23,400
比如說
321
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,000
像最早期使用的是一些心理學的
322
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:26,480
技巧
323
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,200
就是什麼深呼吸
324
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,480
然後離開現場
325
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,480
或者是
326
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,600
數到10一開始很有用
327
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,600
想記得就到最後
328
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,360
變得有點像壓抑
329
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,880
你把這個情緒壓抑住了
330
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:39,600
所以過了
331
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,720
你可以忍過一個禮拜兩個禮拜
332
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,480
可是你忍不過一個月
333
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,400
你忍不過更長的時間
334
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,040
你反而到時候一生氣的時候
335
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,680
憤怒的能量是更高的
336
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,520
會罵出更可怕的東西
337
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,280
所以要從基地開始
338
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,880
我的做法是這樣子
339
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,320
之前
340
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,320
前一陣子我接觸到一本書
341
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,600
也是我的夥伴介紹給我
342
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:01,680
所以我覺得
343
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:02,880
在我們這個團隊很棒
344
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,920
就是我也許有學一些經驗
345
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:07,800
可以跟他們分享
346
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,160
可是其實每團隊的
347
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:09,680
每個成員
348
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,880
都是我的老師
349
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,880
日本零叫做零極限
350
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,640
很多人應該都知道
351
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,040
他幫助我非常多的東西
352
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,640
我覺得都是一切來的
353
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,560
都是剛剛好
354
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,880
你需要的東西
355
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,040
會在你生命的對的時候
356
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:27,880
交給你
357
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,400
所以媽媽也是
358
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:31,200
她就說今天
359
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:32,400
怎麼都講
360
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,520
我就說不會
361
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,360
如果你今天
362
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,520
沒有告訴我們這件事情
363
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,280
我就不會跟你想跟你分享我的
364
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:39,600
經驗了
365
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,720
沒有跟你分享我的經驗
366
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,880
也許你不會覺察這件事情的
367
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,080
可能小朋友的黃金時間
368
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,080
6歲就過了
369
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,000
那也許真的就會發財
370
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,000
你不想發生的事情
371
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,880
所以一切都來的剛剛好
372
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,360
林吉先生這本書是在講說
373
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:59,960
有一個夏威夷的精神病院
374
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,800
那裡面有一個叫做修蘭博士的
375
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,640
他是專門治療這些精神病患
376
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,760
他的治療方法很特別
377
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,400
它不是用傳統的心理學治療法
378
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,320
因為這些精神病患者比較暴躁
379
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,920
然後甚至有攻擊性
380
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,080
可怕到
381
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,040
那時候是
382
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,680
在把他們關起來的地方
383
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:24,440
然後所有的醫療人員會很害怕的
384
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:25,960
貼著牆壁走
385
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,800
原因就是如果你太太
386
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,600
靠近他們關的地方的時候
387
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,160
你可能太靠近他的門
388
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,280
他會把你抓進去
389
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,400
然後攻擊你
390
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,600
其實非常嚴重的一個精神病院
391
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,400
但是雖然不是他
392
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,120
治療方法其實就只有4個字
393
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,800
很多零基線應該都知道
394
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,120
你應該也聽過經典
395
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:45,720
就叫
396
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,960
我愛你謝謝你
397
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:47,440
對不起
398
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:48,320
請原諒我
399
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:49,840
這4句話
400
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,320
整個靈機性的精髓
401
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,240
其實就是這樣
402
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,880
他覺得這4句話
403
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,920
是全世界力量最大的
404
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,520
44句話
405
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,880
所以他就用的是
406
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,880
就要幫這些病患治療
407
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,400
他有沒有跟這些病患接觸
408
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:02,560
409
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,120
看這些人的病例
410
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,720
然後為他們清理
411
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,000
因為他覺得所有的病因
412
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,680
都是來自潛意識
413
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,560
都是來自底層的東西
414
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:14,920
所以他用44句話
415
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,480
幫他清理
416
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,120
那4句話
417
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,920
有一些他的緣由
418
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,760
我個人的解釋法是這樣
419
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,560
對不起
420
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,000
你跟比如說
421
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,880
我們心中都會有一個內在
422
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:25,280
小孩
423
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,480
都有一個長不大的Jason
424
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,160
比如說 Jason才6歲
425
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,320
長不大的小女孩
426
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,760
她會停留在那邊
427
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,600
所以那就是你的潛意識
428
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,040
也就是你內在小孩
429
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:37,960
你就要跟他說對不起
430
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:42,680
因為他替你熬過了
431
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,480
這些不舒服的東西
432
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,160
很感謝他
433
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,800
然後跟他說聲對不起
434
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:49,360
對不起
435
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,200
謝謝你
436
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,920
也是一樣感謝他
437
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,120
Argue這些東西
438
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,000
真誠感謝
439
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:55,200
440
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,200
現在度過了
441
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,720
你長大了沒事了
442
00:13:58,760 --> 00:13:59,280
對不起
443
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,080
謝謝你
444
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,600
我愛你就不用說了
445
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,040
表達你的愛意
446
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,760
一切的東西
447
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,280
愛的力量是最大的
448
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,800
所以比方說我愛你
449
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,520
他會他會給你回扣
450
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,680
你仔細去聽你內心的聲音
451
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,400
一開始真的我向內講的時候
452
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,920
他也沒有什麼回饋
453
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,440
可是慢慢的你會發現
454
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,840
你可以感覺到
455
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,600
它的存在內在的
456
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,000
小孩內在潛意識他回應
457
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,360
但如果一開始的時候
458
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,440
他可能可能不會回應
459
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,640
這樣可以試試看
460
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:30,360
對不起
461
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:30,880
我愛你
462
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:31,640
謝謝你
463
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,520
請原諒我
464
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,800
那一樣就是一個
465
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,840
跟他懺悔嗎
466
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,840
或者反正也是請他
467
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,200
要求原諒的這種感覺
468
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,840
然後這4句話是對自己說
469
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,640
你可以在心裡默念
470
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,400
或者是你可以在
471
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,720
講出來也可以
472
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,640
所以下次可以試試看
473
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:52,600
當你比如說
474
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,040
又發生一些
475
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:55,960
恐懼的事
476
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:56,480
好了
477
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,880
比如說深層的恐懼
478
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:58,560
像是
479
00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,920
舉綱我的例子
480
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,480
晚上外面人吵架
481
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,520
我血壓我的壓力就來的時候
482
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,600
你就把情緒清理掉
483
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,240
因為這個情緒是木來油的
484
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,520
它不是
485
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,640
不是現在發生的事情
486
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,560
他是你的潛意識給你的
487
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,160
你就跟他說謝謝
488
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:16,880
對不起
489
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:18,640
請原諒我
490
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:19,480
謝謝你
491
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,520
對不起我愛你
492
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,440
請原諒我
493
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,960
你可以想象把
494
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,880
記憶這個情緒淡化掉
495
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,960
也就是他們所謂的清理掉
496
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,360
這樣就沒事了
497
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,800
所以下次可以試試看
498
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,040
這種零極限的方法
499
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,320
Ok再來這是第一個方法
500
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,560
我覺得目前來說
501
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,280
對我笑最有效的
502
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,240
再來我覺得對我最影響最大
503
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,200
就是名下
504
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,760
冥想幫我很多忙
505
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:53,200
但是冥想它需要長期的訓練
506
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,560
我不是說我有去內觀10日吟
507
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:57,520
那時候
508
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,080
我也是為了我自己的情緒
509
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,240
取得
510
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,400
那是一個
511
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:03,640
雖然是蠻辛苦的
512
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,760
你要去那邊
513
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,480
住在那邊
514
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,200
1211天12天左右
515
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,600
然後從頭到尾是不能講話
516
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,760
然後過午不食
517
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,160
就是佛教這景點過午不食
518
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,560
你過5天之後
519
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,240
晚上就不吃東西
520
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,200
然後吃素
521
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:22,880
這樣子是一天
522
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,480
然後每天從早上4:30
523
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,160
打坐到晚上8:30
524
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,920
這樣艱難的休息
525
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,600
我當時去做完回來
526
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:32,000
我就想說
527
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,000
我做回來是成仙的
528
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:34,720
對不對
529
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,040
都不會發脾氣
530
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:36,840
其實沒有
531
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,080
這種孩子
532
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,400
大概過一個禮拜
533
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,640
我就破功了
534
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,840
所以並不是說
535
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,080
你短期就能見效
536
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,200
但是長期而言
537
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,680
對你的大腦
538
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,160
對你的情緒都非常好很多
539
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,120
研究報告指出
540
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,760
冥想這件事情
541
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,160
確實會讓血壓降低
542
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:58,560
會讓大腦的神經聯繫更好
543
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,000
所以可以試試看
544
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,240
先從最簡單的5分鐘
545
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,040
還是比較好
546
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,040
如果你從來都沒冥想過
547
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,720
或者你是冥想的新手
548
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,560
你可以先設一個5分鐘的鬧鐘
549
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,320
看你要睡前
550
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,880
或者是你要早上起來看你的時間
551
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:17,720
比較充裕
552
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,240
然後盡量不要太get
553
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,080
5分鐘鬧鐘之後
554
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,600
你就可以坐在椅子上
555
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,280
或者是你可以盤腿的人
556
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,040
就盤腿
557
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,520
做好之後
558
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,560
然後你就閉上眼睛
559
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,240
開始熟悉
560
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,680
你可以數呼吸
561
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,520
比如說吸吐
562
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,760
然後算一次你就數一
563
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,200
稀土二
564
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,120
這是一張叫屬習法
565
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,680
我自己是沒有熟悉
566
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,440
我是
567
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,640
這就要關注呼吸
568
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,200
當吸氣的時候
569
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:50,960
你就觀察
570
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,880
空氣經過你的鼻子
571
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,800
經過你的鼻孔的感覺
572
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,800
然後當你吐氣的時候
573
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,800
你就感受那個氣
574
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,280
在你的寒毛上面震動的感覺
575
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,240
就這樣子
576
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,760
Ok如果你第一次的話
577
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:09,840
或者是你新手的話
578
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,640
大概10秒鐘就分心了
579
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:13,880
真的很難
580
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,120
但是蠻難的
581
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,600
但是值得嘗試
582
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,720
分清之後沒關係
583
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,360
就是不用太責備自己
584
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,240
因為超正常的人
585
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,880
本來就是很難抓到自己的思緒
586
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,480
分清之後再拉回來
587
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,360
再拉回去
588
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,840
呼吸上面如果你中斷了
589
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,240
比如說123456
590
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,360
你就重新數也沒關係
591
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,840
5分鐘一到那種響了之後
592
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,560
就結束了
593
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,680
每天練習
594
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,200
他會對你的大腦
595
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,800
對你的情緒非常有幫助
596
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,080
所以基本上我就是用這兩個方式
597
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:48,600
所以我最後就整
598
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,160
反正整個會議都要講這些事情
599
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,560
然後我覺得這是我的
600
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,200
夢想也是
601
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,720
現在有自己的團隊
602
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,080
可以做的一些事情
603
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,280
發揮自己的影響力
604
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,920
因為很多人覺得
605
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,160
教育家從小孩開始
606
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,720
小孩子是未來的主人公
607
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:06,560
對不對
608
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,560
但是我的觀點不一樣
609
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,280
我覺得教育
610
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,240
教育是要從家長開始
611
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,760
因為小孩
612
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,360
他不懂
613
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,640
你給他什麼
614
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,880
他就接受什麼
615
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:16,680
對不對
616
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,920
他自然不會去
617
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,920
找一些什麼冥想課程
618
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,720
或者是什麼身心靈課程之類的
619
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,400
反而都是家長給他什麼才藝課
620
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,320
或者鋼琴課
621
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,560
他就去學
622
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,200
真正要解決之道
623
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,960
是從母親開始
624
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,600
因為母親也許是
625
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,560
這有點偏見
626
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,280
但是大部分是母親跟小孩
627
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,520
陪伴時間最多
628
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,240
所以小孩是百%受母親的影響
629
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,800
如果把天下的母親
630
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,600
都教會了
631
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,880
都也許跟我一樣
632
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,280
變得更好了
633
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,960
是不是小孩子
634
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:52,920
自然而然
635
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,320
就可以很正常的發展
636
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,800
是不是每一個小孩
637
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,960
都可以快樂成長
638
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,840
每一個小孩都跟小狗一樣
639
00:19:58,840 --> 00:19:59,800
開開心心的
640
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,200
然後也會善待這個世界
641
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,880
因為他們充滿愛就會給eye
642
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,040
給更多人愛
643
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,760
所以這是我的一個夢想
644
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,320
我想創造出一個這樣的平台
645
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,120
不單單只是賺錢
646
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,520
因為賺錢的事
647
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,280
我們在學網絡營銷
648
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,200
然後網絡賺錢
649
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,320
確實會賺到錢
650
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,240
但是你沒有賺到一個完美的人神
651
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,840
這些錢有什麼意義
652
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,320
所以我覺得
653
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,400
很開心的是願意
654
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,200
有人開始
655
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,560
聽這些事情
656
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,680
然後開始改變
657
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,440
我覺得我們的願景
658
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,560
我們的夢想就越來越達成
659
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,880
這是一個最好的身心靈平台
660
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,800
他教很多關於心靈上的東西
661
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,800
也教很多關於網絡賺錢的東西
662
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,040
因為在這邊也要順便講一個
663
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,680
會不會賺很多錢
664
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:50,960
好了
665
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,680
如果你是想賺錢的人
666
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,560
其實技巧不是一切
667
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,160
是信念
668
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,920
這是我這兩三年
669
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,560
體悟到非常重大
670
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,000
每一個賺很多錢的人
671
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,920
每一個有錢有成功的人
672
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,520
他們的底層信念都是非常強的
673
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,480
所以並不是他
674
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,200
當然有時候是運氣
675
00:21:12,360 --> 00:21:14,960
可是真的這些人的心智力
676
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:15,520
都非常強
677
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,360
所以從心智一開始練起起
678
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,280
679
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,760
今天就大概分享到這樣
680
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,400
我的一個兩個小小的訣竅
681
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,600
大家可以去買零極限這本書來看
682
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,040
我覺得對我幫助很大
683
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,240
再來是就試試看5分鐘的冥想
684
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,880
如果你是感覺不錯
685
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:32,880
可以告訴我
686
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,680
最後你有情緒失控的問題嗎
687
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:37,920
如果你有的話
688
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,040
歡迎留言告訴我們
689
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,000
你是怎麼走過來的
690
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,160
Ok最後
691
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,160
如果你想要加入我們的團隊
692
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,360
你有這樣的願景的話
693
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,800
想要讓全世界的媽媽
694
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,760
都可以處於一個非常平靜的狀態
695
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,400
將是這樣的
696
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,200
小孩也可以在家賺錢
697
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,000
歡迎加入我們團隊
698
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,840
下面有我們的網址
699
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,200
你可以點寫下去
700
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,080
過去參考
701
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,240
我是節省我們明天見拜拜
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