Devil part

Feelings of sexual desire were growing up along with time fading, which was creepily wired. Curious just like poison.

Went to the next step, you tried to jump the lure thing and people. However, the devil just gave you a hand and told you that he'll pull you up to the next platform, it's easy and nothing.

Plenty of dark but happy places, you could enjoy the guilty and everyone did this way there. You didn't have to be afraid of being different or being a whore. Everyone there enjoyed the desired thing including the feelings of sexual desire and to be themself, enjoyed what was satisfied "Right Now" feeling and lived at that moment.

At that moment he who was not my lover had me, I was just pulled into this kind of dark place. I almost gave up on myself and thought I was a dirty person and so what? Should I leave my lover or should I keep this secret my whole life? I...I didn't know and had no choice to escape all of this except that I went to a real hell.

Hate was like a shell surrounding me, I hate myself and couldn't stand up for a long while. The weirdest thing was I went to this guy's room and lured him. I felt enjoyable at that moment no matter he had a well sexual skill or his dick was satisfied me or not.

My boyfriend didn't come to me every time and I wanted to have sex so I could go to find that guy who thought I was charming to him. The devil showed up in my head again and sneakingly said he was just an alternative person for having sex and it's no need to worry about guilty.

Then I fall into this dark hole again and again...Felt Happy and ready to die at every moment, that's what I deserved...