Endless loop - Beginning

It’s just like a curse.

The trust turned out the broken fact, he had me. He was not a lover, but only a friend. Awkward ambiguous relationships between him and me. I didn't want to get into another relationship, he neither. Maybe, we just desired for being lovers without any responsibility. However, I only looked for mental love rather than physical love. He misinterpreted my feeling, or you could say he just got what he wanted.

This was the beginning, an awful beginning in my deeper mind. I started to curse myself and couldn't forgive myself.