謹以此詩紀念一行禪師(1926-2022)圓寂。
別說我明天就要離開
即使今天,我也還在抵達。
深入地看吧,我每秒都在抵達,
抵達為春天枝頭的蓓蕾,
抵達為一隻小小的鳥,翅膀還沒長好,
在我的新巢中學唱,
抵達成一朵花心中的毛毛蟲,
或在石頭中隱藏自己的珍寶。
我還在抵達,為了要歡笑和哭泣,
為了要希望與恐懼。
我的心的節奏,是所有一切活著的事物
的出生與死亡。
我是一隻蜉蝣,正在蛻變形態
在河流的表面之上。
我是那隻鳥,
俯衝而下把蜉蝣一口吞下。
我是青蛙,快樂地游泳
在一池清澈的水中。
我是那草蛇,
無聲地以青蛙為一頓飽餐。
我是烏干達的孩子,皮包著骨
腿細得像竹籤。
我是那軍火商,
把致命的武器賣給烏干達。
我是那個十二歲的小女孩
一艘小船上的難民,
被一名海盜強姦後
把自己投向海洋自盡。
我也是那個海盜,
我的心
還不能看見,還不能愛。
我是政治局的一名委員;
我的手中握有大權。
我也是那個被說
必須償還對我的人民犯下的「血債」的人
正在勞改營中慢慢地死去。
我的喜悅如春天,如此溫暖,
它讓鮮花在整個地球上綻放。
我的痛苦就像一條淚水的河流,
如此浩蕩,注滿了四大海洋。
請以我許許多多真正的名字呼喚我,
讓我可以在同一個瞬間,聽到我所有的哭聲與所有的笑聲,
使我看見,我的喜悅與痛苦是一體。
請以我許多真正的名字呼喚我,
那麼我能覺醒
而我的心的門
可以從此開著,
那慈悲之門。
— — 一行禪師〈請以我真正的名字呼喚我〉,張惠菁譯
Please call me by my true names
By Thich Nhat Hanh
Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow—
even today I am still arriving.
Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.
I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.
The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.
I am a mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river.
And I am the bird
that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.
I am a frog swimming happily
in the clear water of a pond.
And I am the grass-snake
that silently feeds itself on the frog.
I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
And I am the arms merchant,
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.
I am the twelve-year-old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate.
And I am also the pirate,
my heart not yet capable
of seeing and loving.
I am a member of the politburo,
with plenty of power in my hands.
And I am the man who has to pay
his “debt of blood” to my people
dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.
My joy is like Spring, so warm
it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so vast it fills the four oceans.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughter at once,
so I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can wake up
and the door of my heart
could be left open,
the door of compassion.