Sitting next to your girlfriend, or hitting on a bridesmaid?"
I was an optimist.
That's like bringing a deer carcass on a hunting trip.
Ted, it's a simile.
I felt bad, though. He was pretty bummed.
He can put his platinum card on a fishing line and reel in ten chicks hotter than you.
I think my feelings for Robin may be resurfacing.
Oh, please-- they were buried in a shallow grave.
Oh, yeah. Okay, that's a pretty fair assessment of our two arguments.
I mean, I've hooked up with the odd lass who was beneath my level of attractiveness
Yeah... how was that manicure yesterday?
Invigorating, thanks.
If you had checked "plus one," I would have called you to get the name of your guest, so I could have the place cardsprinted up.
First of all... I have been laying groundwork all afternoon.
Totally subtle, totally cool, not pushing, not even nudging, just: the theme of today is, "Ted rocks."
I don't know... it's going to be a tough sell.
This morning at the rehearsal, Claudia called our seven-year-old flower girl a whore.
Ah! So you admit it-- the groom should have an equal say.
Ted, for all I know, you did me the biggest favor anyone's ever done me.
No, I do-- this whole thing has made me realize I miss being single.
I miss staying out late, and making messes and not cleaning them up.
Two souls, of equal levels of attractiveness, both fitting together like two pieces of a very attractive puzzle.
if I catch you even so muchas breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles, and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out, and then I'll feed them to you like grapes!
So where did we land on the whole plus one thing?
It took three more vodka cranberries to subdue Claudia, but, eventually, she graciously agreed to let me bring Robin.
We just wanted to get a picture with the woman who almost ended our relationship.
一定要背的句子:
every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation:
"Will you be bringing a guest, or will you be attending alone?"
If I don't bring a date, a $200 piece of chicken/salmon will go uneaten.
We never really clicked.
Ah, don't beat yourself up.
What I don't get is why is Claudia marrying Stuart?
We can't get anywhere with our wedding plans
Okay. I'm just saying that it's my wedding, too, and I should have a say in it.
Yes, but I'm the bride, so I win.
You know, I've always found that the best way to get over a failed relationship is to celebrate someone else's successful one.
Oh, you're gonna wanna bring your "A" game.
I'll bring it so hard, the bride's gonna look like a big white bag of crap.
Whoa! Did you see how fired up she was?
Ted, you're going to have to find another gender for yourself, 'cause I'm revoking your "dude" membership.
Do you see how your story is full of holes?
Isn't there room for just one more person?
And she's picking up what I'm laying down.
So, don't take it personally, she's just a little stressed.
You went around the bride.
Crap, she bought some expensive shoes. She's really looking forward to this.
Ted and I will go and try to talk some sense into Stuart.
Did she seem pissed at me?
Looking at that girl and knowing she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world
Marshall and Ted set me straight.
Yeah, stay out as late as you want.
The whole world full of endless possibilities.
For whatever reason, I had let myself believe that this night would be a turning point, that this was the night my life-- my real life-- would finally begin.