分娩前在薩福克（英國）待 6 週
(scroll down for English)奇怪的是，我(蕃薯媽媽)上次飛往英國時，大蕃薯就在我肚子裡，只有我和他兩人，一回首已是整整 5 年前了！幾個月後，我們將再次飛往英國，這次大蕃薯不再是在我的身體裡，而是一個即將上小學的5歲孩子！然後還有 小蕃薯（他將會是 2歲！）和爸爸！
所以，沿著記憶之路旅行…不算全職學習，我從來沒有請過這麼長的假！當我辭職的時候，我把四年多的累積假期一次性休了。我確實想強調，請假和度假並不完全是一回事（正如一位沒有孩子的同事所說的……你真幸運！假期長！」），因為當時我已經懷孕30 週左右（最後三個月），並且大蕃薯 變得越來越大。懷孕是一項巨大的責任（對你體內即將出生的生命100% 24/7 負責！）和負擔（試想像在你的胃上背負幾磅的重量做所有事情......走路，睡覺. .....一件喜歡的事情當你睡覺時也踢你......除了荷爾蒙變化和副作用，如胃灼熱，鼻塞，知道你所做的一切都會影響你體內的小生命，甚至你吃的東西）......所以，我正在休假，但是感覺更像是提前休產假！
在這種背景下，我很高興我有時間。在我離開之前，香港的事情壓力很大。尤其是因為我媽媽（她本來應該陪我去英國）在我們起飛前幾週就摔斷了臀部。家裡的其他人都是工作狂，他們無法及時放慢腳步，同時他們又計劃到非洲及美國旅行。我擔心她出院後如何獨自應對（她顯然不能，因為她住在山上，不被允許開車）。有時我感覺自己在試圖解決其他人的問題，而不是專注於自己。我記得同時查找非洲旅行預防措施和飛往英國的機票，因為我在出發前一個月意識到亞洲萬里通機票的候補名單不太可能變成真正的機票，所以我爭先恐後地買了一張。我在英國的時候，爸爸要收拾行李，把我們的東西從沙田搬到香港仔，所以我必須安排很多事……問題包括租客拒絕按時搬出，推遲裝修和我們的入住日期。還有一個問題是，我獨自一個孕婦在英國該如何應對？親密的朋友正在處理自己的危機。在一個不眠之夜，我打電話給英國和加拿大的老朋友。儘管與我的香港朋友相比，我們在一起的時間更少，也沒有經常通電話，但他們一直在我身邊。其中一位自己也即將休產假！ （我們的孩子出生時間正好相隔 8 週！）他們有一個有趣的共同點，那就是我們會在世界各地的不同地方見面並一起旅行！ （都柏林、香港、廣島、倫敦、南丘陵、那不勒斯、拉維羅、蘇梅島和濤島）
這讓我想起我最喜歡的一首詩，它可以隱喻很多事… （爸爸和我喜歡聶魯達 (Neruda)的詩。他的十四行詩的片段散佈在我們的婚前相簿中）
如果你忘記我
我想讓你知道
一件事。
你知道這是怎麼回事：
如果我看
晶月處，紅枝處
窗外緩慢的秋天，
如果我觸摸
靠近火
觸不可及的灰燼
或原木的皺紋體，
一切都將我帶到你身邊
彷彿一切存在，
香氣、光、金屬、
是小船
那張帆
前往那些等待著我的你的島嶼。
現在好了，
如果你漸漸不再愛我
我會一點一點不再愛你。
如果突然
你忘了我
不要找我，
因為我已經忘記你了。
如果你覺得它又長又瘋狂，
橫幅之風
貫穿我一生的，
你決定
把我留在岸邊
是我生根的心，
記住
那一天，
在那個時刻，
我將舉起雙臂
我的根將會出發
去尋找另一塊土地。
但
如果每天，
每個小時，
你覺得你是我的命中註定
帶著難以平息的甜蜜，
如果每天一朵花
爬到你的唇邊來找我，
啊我的愛，啊我自己的，
在我身上，所有的火焰都在重複，
在我身上，沒有什麼東西會消失或被遺忘，
我的愛以你的愛為食，親愛的，
只要你還活著，它就會在你懷裡
不離開我的。
——巴勃羅·聶魯達
無論如何，回到當前的主題。我當時就迫不及待地「出發去尋找另一片土地」。我第一次搭乘商務艙，如果您（或願意付費的人）在懷孕期間能夠負擔得起，我強烈推薦您搭乘商務艙。價格比我想像的更合理，搭乘間接航班也完全沒問題。
這就是高尚的生活…
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9We2z-DTOJ/?igsh=N3EyZ21jdWs3Z3Ny
然後搬到薩福克郡(Suffolk)的伍德布里奇（Woodbridge,一個小村莊）。我選擇在伊普斯威奇(Ipswich)生育，因為我們的家人和朋友住在那裡。我住在喬治亞二級Grade II Georgian townhouse聯排別墅裡，在花園裡吃午餐和甜點……我感覺就像在珍奧斯汀小說中一樣！..
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_90mTyDsgb/?igsh=MThxemxuc282N2lvaw==
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_zZzEOD65L/?igsh=MW95bzFhd2gyNjFjag==
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_4367CDt10/?igsh=MXU3a2Q2cDVxN2Mybg==
伍德布里奇確實是一個非常漂亮的小鎮
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_8jn4gDzaE/?igsh=MXBkZG51d3d5NTh2bA==
這是日出時的圖書館
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9gtHJkDB5S/?igsh=MWNvODlwbGo3amJvMA==
我加入了一個讀書俱樂部，被他們正在討論的書所吸引（埃琳娜·費蘭特的關於友誼的小說……很棒的書，儘管需要一段時間才能閱讀！）
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_uV5ZzjF1G/?igsh=MXRneml5aWZoNG1lbQ==
我在香港的讀書俱樂部的一位成員即將分娩，其他成員認為她在孩子出生後會太忙而無法參加。但即使在大蕃薯誕生之後，我也真的很喜歡成為讀書俱樂部的一員（幸運的是，當大蕃薯到來時，我已經讀完下一本書了！）除了讓大蕃薯 一直保持活力之外，讀書俱樂部還給了我一些值得期待的東西！因此，對於那些沒有孩子但朋友懷孕了的人來說，不要因為他們有了新生兒就自動將他們排除在任何社交活動之外！他們很可能渴望成人的陪伴！
除此之外，在大風天，我在班傑明·布里頓 (Benjamin Britten)居住的海濱小鎮奧爾德堡 (Aldeburgh)用美味的炸魚和薯條大吃特吃……一隻海鷗俯衝而下，吃光了我朋友的全部炸魚和薯條！
https://www.instagram.com/p/B__LaZJDVAJ/?igsh=MWc2anB5c2N3NTZwbA==
我很高興購買 了大蕃薯 的第一件衣服
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_14NhWDsog/?igsh=dWwxN29rNG10cXVo
只需完成線上課程，大蕃薯就得到了一個免費的嬰兒箱作為他的第一張床，裡面有很多有用的免費贈品。大蕃薯準備好當個芬蘭式嬰兒了 Finnish baby !
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_uRCCBDHCg/?igsh=MWdkemh0dzcxMmJzbQ==
我還去諾維奇 (Norwich) 拜訪了一位家庭朋友，並偶然遇到了風信子季節
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9WlXK1Dvh3/?igsh=MTdlOWE2ZXo5a2Y1bg==
並參觀了他們美麗的大教堂
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9YZ6XXDtdC/?igsh=MXdtaTdyYzBvZXZhNQ==
我又往臉上塞了更多的食物……啊啊薩福克的農產品真豐富，真是太神奇了。我最接近的比較是福岡（日本）..也許我會寫一篇關於福岡美食的文章，我們最近去了福岡！
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9Y7heWj1SF/?igsh=NTBkdWFja3h0aXMx
下雨天我也拍了一張照片
我在倫敦待了幾天探望朋友（坐火車1.5小時）然後去了法國的尼斯。也許我的下一篇文章是關於懷孕期間獨自去尼斯的！
其他關於在英國居住 4 個月分娩的帖子
6 weeks in Suffolk (UK) before giving birth
Strange to think that the last time I flew to UK, R was in my tummy, just me & him, exactly 5 years ago! In a few months, we’ll be flying to UK again, this time R is no longer inside me, but a 5-year-old about to start primary school! And then there is X (who will be 2!) and Baba too!
So, a trip down memory lane…. Not counting full time study, I had never taken such a long leave from work! As I was quitting my job, I took all my accumulated leave over 4 years in 1 go. I do want to stress that taking leave and being on holiday are not quite the same thing (as a childless colleague remarked... Lucky you! Long holiday!”), as I was around 30 weeks pregnant by then (final trimester) and R was getting v big. Being pregnant is a huge responsibility (100% responsibility 24/7 for a life that’s inside you, about to be born!) and burden (try doing everything with a few pounds attached to your stomach… walking, sleeping…. A thing which likes to kick you when you sleep too… On top of that hormonal changes and side effects like heartburn, stuffy nose, knowing that everything you do affects the being inside you, even what you eat)… So, I was taking my long holiday, but it felt more like an early maternity leave!
Against this background, I’m glad I had the time to. Before I left, things in Hong Kong were quite stressful. Not least because my mum (who was supposed to accompany me to the UK) broke her hip weeks before we were supposed to fly. The rest of the family are workaholics and just could not slow down in time, with planned trips to US and Africa. I worried about how she could possibly cope alone when she got out of hospital (she obviously couldn’t, as she lives on a hill and wasn’t allowed to drive). At times it felt like I was trying to sort out everyone else, instead of focusing on myself. I remember simultaneously looking up travel prophylaxis for Africa and flight tickets to the UK, as I realized 1 month before leaving that waitlisting for an Asia miles ticket was unlikely to turn into an actual ticket and I scrambled to buy one. While I was in UK, Baba was supposed to pack up and move our things from Shatin to Aberdeen, so I had to organize that… Problems included a tenant who refused to move out on time, delaying renovations and our move-in date. There was the also the question of how would I cope in the UK alone and pregnant? Close friends were dealing with crises of their own. On a sleepless night, I called old friends in UK and Canada. Even though we’d spent less time together compared to my HK friends and didn’t talk on the phone regularly, they were there for me. One of them was about to go on maternity leave herself! (Our kids were born exactly 8 weeks apart!) One funny thing in common they had was we’d meet up in different places around the world and travel! (Dublin, Hong Kong, Hiroshima, London, South Downs, Naples, Ravello, Koh Samui and Koh Tao)…
This reminds me of one of my favourite poems, which could be a metaphor for so many things…. (Baba & I love Neruda’s poems.. bits of his sonnets are sprinkled amongst our pre-wedding photo album)
If You Forget Me
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
-Pablo Neruda
Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I couldn’t wait to “set off to seek another land” at that point. I took business class for the 1st time, which I highly recommend if you (or someone who’s willing to pay) can afford it, when heavily pregnant. The price was more reasonable than I expected and taking an indirect flight was completely fine.
Here is the high life….
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9We2z-DTOJ/?igsh=N3EyZ21jdWs3Z3Ny
Then moving to Woodbridge (a small village) in Suffolk. I chose to give birth in Ipswich because our family friend lived there. I stayed in a Grade II Georgian townhouse & had lunches and dessert in the garden… I felt like I was in a Jane Austen novel!
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_90mTyDsgb/?igsh=MThxemxuc282N2lvaw==
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_zZzEOD65L/?igsh=MW95bzFhd2gyNjFjag==
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_4367CDt10/?igsh=MXU3a2Q2cDVxN2Mybg==
Woodbridge really is a very pretty town
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_8jn4gDzaE/?igsh=MXBkZG51d3d5NTh2bA==
This is the library at sunrise
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9gtHJkDB5S/?igsh=MWNvODlwbGo3amJvMA==
Where I joined a book club, attracted by the book they were discussing (Elena Ferrante’s novel on friendship… amazing book, although takes a while to read!)
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_uV5ZzjF1G/?igsh=MXRneml5aWZoNG1lbQ==
One of the members of my Hong Kong book club is about to give birth and the other members thought she would be too busy to join after the baby arrived. But I really enjoyed being part of a book club even after R was born (luckily, I was already halfway through the next book when R arrived!) It gave me something to look forward to apart from just keeping R alive all the time! So, to anyone who is childless with a pregnant friend, don’t automatically exclude them from anything social just because they have a newborn! They may well crave adult company!
Apart from that, I scoffed my face with yummy fish and chips on a windy day at Aldeburgh, a seaside town where Benjamin Britten lived… A seagull swooped down and took the whole of my friend’s fish & chips!
https://www.instagram.com/p/B__LaZJDVAJ/?igsh=MWc2anB5c2N3NTZwbA==
I had fun shopping for R’s 1st clothes
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_14NhWDsog/?igsh=dWwxN29rNG10cXVo
And got a FREE baby box as his 1st bed with lots of useful freebies, just by completing an online course.. R was all set like a Finnish baby !
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_uRCCBDHCg/?igsh=MWdkemh0dzcxMmJzbQ==
I also went to Norwich to visit a family friend and chanced upon bluebell season
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9WlXK1Dvh3/?igsh=MTdlOWE2ZXo5a2Y1bg==
& visited their beautiful cathedral
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9YZ6XXDtdC/?igsh=MXdtaTdyYzBvZXZhNQ==
I stuffed my face with more food… Aaah the produce in Suffolk is so bountiful, it is so amazing. The closest comparison I have is Fukuoka (Japan).. Perhaps I will write a future post on the food in Fukuoka, where we went recently!
https://www.instagram.com/p/B9Y7heWj1SF/?igsh=NTBkdWFja3h0aXMx
I also had a photoshoot on a rainy day!
I stayed a few days in London to visit friends (which is 1.5 hours by train) and went to Nice. Perhaps my next post will be about going to Nice alone when heavily pregnant! (see below)...
Other posts about staying in UK for 4 months to give birth
-Solo trip to Nice, France when 32 weeks pregnant (Part 1)
-Solo trip to Nice, France when 32 weeks pregnant (Part 2)
-The birth of R in Suffolk, UK!
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