我的性向 My Sexuality
My Take on My Sexuality
So, after watching that film, it got me thinking about the stuff my friends used to tell me.
One of my buddies once tagged me as a pretty unique individual. According to him, most people start dating the opposite sex and then figure out they're gay or bi. But in my case, it's been the other way around. From childhood up until my junior year in college, I was pretty convinced I was a lesbian. It wasn't until I hit junior year, saw a dude on the street, and thought, "Hey, he's good-looking," that I realized I could appreciate guys too.
Whoa! So, turns out I'm rocking the bisexual vibe!
Family Factors
Now, about the whole living-with-a-guy thing, blame it on my old man, I guess. Growing up, it was hard for me to picture sharing a roof with a dude.
Or maybe it's my mom's doing.
According to her, "All guys are the same – not a single good one. Especially those Scorpios, they're guaranteed to cheat."
Yeah, looking back now, my mom was pretty biased. She thought all Scorpios, like my dad, were cut from the same cloth. And yeah, I totally bought into that when I was a kid!
My grandma
I've always had some thoughts about guys from a young age, probably because of my grandma. I remember coming home one day, and my grandma said my mom was a "non-birther" (said in Taiwanese).
I was like, "Wait, what? Grandma says you haven't given birth to any kids?" Totally confused.
And my mom, cool as a cucumber, goes, "Oh, your grandma means I haven't given birth to any boys."
So, there you go. If you weren't a dude, you were basically kicked out of the "human" club.
Ah! Turns out, in my grandma's eyes, I wasn't even human.
That "not human" notion stuck with me for a while. After that, I had even stronger opinions about guys.
You can probably guess, my younger self wasn't about to have a boyfriend. I always had girlfriends.
Yep, you say girls aren't human, I'll go ahead and date them anyway. That was the kind of stubborn kid I was.
It wasn't until I hit college, enrolled in the foreign language department, and got hit with different ways of thinking that I started to change. Became a bit more open-minded, embracing diverse thoughts and perspectives.
So, when I found out in my junior year that I could appreciate guys too, I was a bit taken aback, but hey, I rolled with it.
我的性向
看完這部片，我想到我的朋友和我說的話。
我朋友說我是個很特別的人，他說別人都是先和異性交往，後來才發現自己是同性戀或雙性戀；而我則相反。
我從小時候到大三前，以為自己是個同性戀；一直到大三在街上看到一位男性，我覺得他挺帥。才發現，原來我也可以欣賞男性
喔！原來我是雙性戀啊！
家庭因素
可能是因為我爸的關係，我從小就很難想像，長大後跟男生住在同個屋簷下。
也有可能是我媽催眠我成功
「天下烏鴉一般黑，男人沒一個好東西。」
「尤其是天蠍座，絕對出軌」
ㄜ......現在想起來，我媽真的偏見挺嚴重
因為我爸是天蠍座，所以她覺得所有的天蠍座都是那樣，我小時候還真的相信= =!
阿嬤
還有我從小就對男性有點意見，可能和我阿嬤也有點關係。
記得小時候回家，我阿嬤會說我媽是
「沒生」的女人(請用台語唸)
還記得我很錯愕的問我媽
「媽媽，為什麼阿嬤說你沒生任何小孩？」
「你不是生了我和我姊嗎？」我一臉疑惑
「喔，你阿嬤的意思是我沒生男的。」我媽一臉淡定地說道
那時候，我就知道
原來如果不是男的，會被開除「人籍」
啊！原來在我阿嬤眼中，我不是人類
我竟然不是「人」，這個念頭一直徘徊不去
自此之後，我對男性就更有意見了
可想而知，小時候我的我，是不可能交男朋友的
一直以來，交的都是女朋友
哼，你說女生不是人，我就偏要和女生交往
小時候的我，就是這麼固執
直到長大，上了外文系，接受不同思潮的衝擊
才好了點，能夠比較接受不同的思維
不同的思路
所以，我大三發現我也可以欣賞男性的時候，我驚訝了一下
就接受了
