AI 音樂 所引發的家庭風波 Family Feud Sparked by AI Music

The other day, I got an earful about AI music for a good half-hour. Kinda ticked off. Kinda resigned, you know?

Here's the scoop: I was sneakily jamming to some AI tunes at home when 163 busted me.

"Am I not cutting it for you anymore?" "You're ditching human-made tunes for AI tracks now?"

"Are these AI beats really hitting the spot more?"

Um...I was just sitting there, face flushed with embarrassment, feeling all sorts of awkward.

Rate

"Alright, spill it! Are these AI tracks better than what I make? Rate 'em."

"AI: 50. You: 85."

"And what's the verdict?" 163's voice now dripping with anger.

"AI: Good. You: Damn good," I mumbled from the bed.

"What the! AI gets a measly 50, yet it's 'good'? Shouldn't it be garbage then?" 163 seemed puzzled.

Marius Masalar on Unsplash

Did I screw up??

I still remember how my sweetheart getting steamed often boils down to my judgment. 163's got a beef with my decisions at times. There was this one time 163 almost broke it off 'cause of my call. Every time 163 feels I'm being shortchanged, 163 gets extra hot under the collar.

Fuming,
Fuming some more,
Fuming till there's no tomorrow.

noodles

I recall the first time I slurped noodles with 163. Bought a bowl at Fengjia Night Market, and 163 comes over, all curious, "Mm, noodles, huh? They any good?"

"They're alright," I shrugged.

"Well, let me taste." 163 sat next to me and grabs a forkful.

"What the heck! These noodles are a mushy mess! How's this considered 'alright'?" 163's staring at me, disbelief written all over the face.

"Eh, they're fine. Plus, it's the cheapest joint around," I nonchalantly respond.

"These are downright awful!" 163's not holding back.

paying me less

Then there was the time 163 was boiling mad. Found out my job was paying me less than minimum wage, and 163 was fit to be tied. Thought I was getting screwed.

"Do you even know what minimum wage means under labor laws?" 163's voice rising.

"Yeah, I know it's illegal, but I'm cool with it," I shrug.

"Cool with it? Can't you stand up for yourself and say 'this ain't right'?" 163's practically on fire. It's like 163 is about to go Super Saiyan.

"You're not even getting the bare minimum," 163 explodes.

163's gripes:

My standards are:

Tasty (0-75)

Real tasty (76-85)

Delish (86-100)

Pleasant to the ear (0-75)

Pretty catchy (76-85)

Absolutely banging (86-100)

163's standards are:

Not catchy (0-75)

Alright (76-85)

Totally catchy (86-100)

"A 50 means it's not cutting it, it's not catchy. It's below par, not bangin'!" 163 vents.

I get it. I get why 163's so hot under the collar. Takes 163 a year or two to create a song that hits above 85. Same goes for me.

But AI? It whips up a 50 in minutes.

People-pleasing?

Maybe I'm just too much of a pushover. Whenever someone asks, I just go:

"Yeah, sure."

"It's cool." (40)

"It's alright." (30)

"Eh, it's decent." (10)

Behind the scenes:

"Can you please cut yourself some slack?" 163 urges. "Just say it's not catchy, not tasty, not good. Don't let yourself get shortchanged."

Um...I'll give it a shot.

家庭風波

前陣子，我因為AI 被唸了 半小時吧

有點生氣

有點無奈

事情是這樣的

我在家偷偷聽AI 音樂，被163發現了

他很生氣

「我已經不能滿足你了嗎？」

「人類做的歌曲你不聽，你現在居然在給我聽AI 做的曲？？？」

「是AI 做的比較好聽嗎？」

ㄜ......

我臉上充滿被抓包的尷尬

迷之心情

「你說！是AI 做的歌曲比較好聽，還是我做的。你現在給我打分數。」

「AI: 50分 你：85分」

「那評語呢？」163憤怒地聲音傳來

「AI: 好聽。 你：好好聽」我坐在床上說道

「什麼！AI 就50分，為什麼是好聽。應該是不好聽吧。」

「他有點不解+憤怒。」

「就50分應該是難聽。」163說道

「就這樣就可以了。」我說

判斷錯誤???

我還記得我家寶貝生氣，有時候就源自於我的判斷

163 有時候就會抱怨我的判斷

他有一次跟我鬧分手，就是因為我的判斷讓他很生氣

他每次覺得我受委屈，163就會特別生氣

氣呼呼
氣呼呼氣呼呼
氣呼呼氣呼呼氣呼呼

我還記得，第一次跟163吃麵

我去逢甲夜市買了碗麵在吃，他好奇地走過來問

「你在吃麵喔，這好吃嗎？」

「好吃。」我抬頭看了他一眼

「那我吃吃看。」163坐在我旁邊拿起我的筷子

「靠北！這麵都糊掉了。這什麼鬼??? 這叫好吃???」163一臉不可置信地望著我

「恩，這樣就可以了。這間麵是最便宜的」我淡定地說道

「這根本難吃到爆炸！」163說

還有一次

163也很生氣

當他知道我的工作薪水比勞基法最低工資還低的時候，163超級超級生氣

他覺得我被欺負了

「你他媽知道勞基法 最低工資的意思嗎？」163的聲音有點高

「恩，我知道他違法，但我覺得這樣就可以了。」

「就可以???」163繼續生氣中

「你可不可以學會說『不可以』！」他整個怒火中燒

感覺好像素還真的招式──怒火燒盡九重天 (影片4:30)

最低

最低最低

最低最低最低最低

「你連最低保障都沒有ㄟ」163爆炸中

163的抱怨

你可不可以不要每次都說

1. 好吃 (0-75分)
2. 好好吃 (76-85)
3. 非常好吃 (86-100)

1. 好聽 (0-75分)
2. 好好聽( 76-85)
3. 非常好聽 (86-100)

「70分就是難吃，就不好吃啊」163開始發表意見

「你就直說」163繼續說

ㄜ......

我不知道要說啥，靜音中

P.S. 啊！可能我小時候習慣了，吃洋蔥炒蟑螂+蛋

還會一臉淡定地說

「好吃」

163的標準則是

1. 不好聽 (0-75分)
2. 還可以( 76-85)
3. 好聽 (86-100)

「 50分那就是不怎樣、是不好聽。他連及格都沒有ㄟ。好聽個鬼啦」 163抱怨道

可以理解

我可以理解163為什麼那麼生氣

他寫一首85分以上的歌大概要一兩年

我自己寫一首歌大概也要花一兩年

可是AI 只要花幾分鐘就可以產出一個約50分左右的音樂

討好型人格

可能是因為我有點討好型人格???

我好像別人問我，我大概就說

「好啊。」

「好聽阿。」 (40分)

「好吃阿。」 (30分)

「喔，還可以阿。」 (只有10分)

幕後花絮

「你可不可以對自己好一點啊」163說道

「你就直接說不好聽、不好吃、不好。不准你委屈自己。」

ㄜ......

我試試看 (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)