暈船仔的下場 A Love-Struck Fella's Journey
Picture this: my buddy D turns to me and goes, "You little love-struck fella, bootlicker, you know that?"
I'm like, "Huh?" A little thrown off, you know? "Me? A love-struck fella, bootlicker? I thought you had to be a dude to earn that title."
Then my bro D starts cracking up like there's no tomorrow. His laughter's sounding a lot like the opening of the video.
啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
It's kinda weird, you know? At that moment, I'm starting to wonder if everyone around me's a bit... off, you know?
"Whoa, hold up," I tell my buddy D, locking eyes with him. "Even if I'm a dog, at least I'm a handsome one."
I'll admit it
Yeah, I'll admit it. I am a love-struck fella.
Spent two months knee-deep in junior high textbooks
So, I hustle through a year of high school material (the Longteng Edition). Finally wrap my head around it, start tackling high school cases (the Longteng Edition only, of course).
Gripe
Oh, let's take a minute to gripe about the Ministry of Education, shall we? What's with all the versions? They're not just confusing the students, they're confounding the teachers too.
Three versions of high school English! Just getting through them takes three years, for crying out loud!
Anyway, first year's all about public junior high English. Second year? Public junior high English plus high school English (the Longteng Edition).
Then, it's two more years of hitting the books. But hey, I finally nail all three versions of high school. I'm ready for any high school case, and let me tell you, it's been a bittersweet journey. Haha!
If I were single, I'd probably stick to teaching public junior high English. I mean, as long as I can keep the lights on, right?
I'm super lazy.
Without other people driving me, I'd be one of those folks with no ambition.
Yep, love sure makes you disciplined.
Especially when you're a love-struck fella, trying to support your crush.
But hey, you think that's the end of the story?
Nope. Ninth-grade exams in May, twelfth-grade in January.
Students come and go, you know? So what's a lady to do when there're no classes to teach?
Go home and listen to 163 nag at me?
"Hey, gotta have some ambition!" 163's always on my case. /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
Ah! It's tough out there, you know?
Do I have to be like those office workers in movies, carrying a briefcase and pretending to go to work?
And hey, if you're not following along, check out 呂捷's video. He dives into this stuff around the 7:01 mark.
What's the plan, then?
What's a love-struck fella gotta do to keep 163 happy?
Study, of course.
So I hit the books, start with the GEPT Elementary Level, then the Intermediate (took me another year and a half, give or take).
Now, when there's a gap in the classes, I'll slide in a GEPT class and keep the ball rolling.
But sometimes, there's just no GEPT class.
No biggie.
I'll just keep studying.
TOEIC, IELTS, TOEFL (that's been going on for years now, I tell ya!).
So even if there's no classes, I can squeeze in another TOEIC, IELTS, or TOEFL class.
Heck yeah!
Smooth transition, no fear of being left behind.
Anyway, being a love-struck fella led me to train myself into a hexagonal warrior.
What can I say? Life's a trip, isn't it?
Hahaha! ▼・ᴥ・▼
聊天
我兄弟D跟我說
「你真的很容易暈船ㄟ」
「喔，是啊。」我淡定地說
「你這個暈船仔。」兄弟D 用嘲諷的口氣說道
「啊。沒關係，暈船仔又怎麼了。請不要歧視暈船仔。」我抬頭看了他一眼
緣起
為什麼會被這麼說，大概是因為我太愛暈船???
還記得我那時身上還扛著五十幾萬的就學貸款，領著大概勞基法最低工資，就在幫163付房租。而隨著我的薪水逐漸增加，我就很自然地開始給163送午餐、送宵夜、送飲料；幫163付水電費、手機費、網路費、健保費
被我朋友說
「你這該死的舔狗？」
「蛤？」我有點困惑
「我這樣算舔狗嗎？我還以為性別要是男的，才有資格當舔狗。」
狂笑
我兄弟D開始狂笑
他的笑聲有點像是二手玫瑰《耍猴兒》前面那段
啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
有點詭異
這時候我有點懷疑
難道我周遭的人都有點......
神經質???
沒有五年病史，不會聽這首歌。
沒有五年病史，不會跟我交朋友???
「你他媽才舔狗，我就算是狗，也是隻帥狗。」我盯著兄弟D說道
互相揭短
可能維持和兄弟間的友情就是這麼無聊，一堆爛梗、瞎話、無腦笑話???
是說我們彼此聊的挺開心???
兄弟D開始 嘲諷我說
「舔狗舔狗，一無所有。」
我也有點火了，盯著他說
「舔狗舔狗，應有盡有。」
你現在是怎樣，開嘲諷大會ㄇ
是要揭短是ㄅ
「那你之前還跟我說，你是阿姨不想努力系列ㄟ。」我斜眼看著兄弟D
「喔，你還記得！」兄弟D有點驚慌的樣子
「對啊，你還跟我講啥乾話。什麼鋼絲球花的花語是『富貴、隱忍』」
「ㄜ......你快忘掉。」他的聲音在抖
「我偏不。富婆快樂球是ㄅ！呵呵呵。」我以更荒謬的口吻回擊兄弟D
來啊！大家互相傷害
看誰疊的甲比較厚
哈哈哈
要當一個MT是吧，來啊！看我使出超強技能
嘲諷
P.S. MT (遊戲裡面負責嘲諷怪物，負責扛打擊的腳色)
要當一個合格的MT，要有講一句話就讓全場暴跳如雷的功力
承認
好吧，我承認我是有點暈船
我花了兩個月的時間唸國中教材，然後去上課，發現只教國中養不活我+163
就又K了一年高中教材(龍騰版)，好不容易把龍騰版唸完，開始承接高中Case(只限龍騰版)
哇哩咧
這時候就要抱怨一下教育部，哇哩咧，你這一綱多本，先搞得不是學生，是老師ㄟ
高中英文主要有三個版本，光是唸完三個版本，我要花三年耶
哀!!!!!
好吧。總之，我第一年只教公立國中英文，到了第二年只教公立國中英文+高中英文龍騰版，這時候終於養得起自己+163了。
接著一邊教，再花了兩年K書，可喜可賀，我終於唸完高中三個版本，高中三個版本的Case都可以接，講了真是心酸路。哈哈哈
如果我單身，我大概就會停留在只教公立國中英文 (因為只要養自己就好)
養自己，就只要每個月接幾個case，領個一萬多就好了。
我超級懶惰的，如果不是挺暈船的，我是屬於沒有上進心那種人
真的是
愛情使人自律
尤其是暈船仔，為了養得起他們的心上人，對自己倒是挺狠的
你以為這樣就結束了嗎？
你們也知道。國三會考在五月，高三會考在一月
也就是說，待在補教業，五月會走一波學生、一月也會走一波學生
那我怎麼辦？
我那時候沒課砸辦?
回家被163唸???
「你要有上進心啊！」163最愛唸我了 /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\
啊！在這世界混真是難
我只是個普通的女生好ㄇ
難不成我要學電影裡面的上班族，拿著公事包假裝去上班嗎？
P. S. 不了解的朋友，可以看呂捷的影片，裡面有提到這個問題，在影片(7:01)
怎麼辦
這時候，暈船仔為了養163會做出什麼事情哩
就是K書啊
我就先K 全民英檢初級、再K全民英檢中級 (大概又花了一年多 = =! )
這樣我在升學班級沒有學生時，就可以塞一個全民英檢班，繼續上班
然後，我發現有時候剛好沒有學生要上全民英檢，
導致我空檔沒辦法塞一個全民英檢班，
那簡單
我繼續K書
讀多益、雅思、托福 (又讀了好幾年= =!)
反正我沒有升學班的學生可以教，我就再塞一個多益 或雅思 或托福班
喔耶！
很好，完美銜接
不怕失業了
六邊形戰士
總之，暈船暈到把自己練成六邊形戰士
我想也是沒誰了
哈哈哈 ▼・ᴥ・▼
奇妙的人生旅程
