受辱不怨為一藥

今天是週六，我起床較早。只要原因是妻子今天是早班，很早就要去上班，因為今天她是輪值主管，管著手下十幾個酒店客房服務員工，當然她自己也動手參與做客房服務。

回想起我在疫情期間，我百感交集。當時我丟失了賴以生存的工作，自己經營的移民業務難以維持，於是去開了半年的優步租車和滴滴打車，出了幾趟小小事故，就徹底放棄不做了。

後來又應聘去了另外一家酒店做客房服務，根本就做不下去，因為我從小到大，對於這種粗活，懶惰無比，若要強行去做，則顯得笨拙無能，遭到搭班的同事的白眼嫌棄後，我主動離職了。

妻這方面比我就強多了。她不但一直長久地做這個職業，還晉升到主管位置。我不得不說，作為第一代移民，女性的生存能力要強於男性。

我剛才在格雷爾海灘散步，心情舒暢很多，這兩天來，我一直郁郁不樂，憤憤不平。心裡淤積著憤怒不滿與憎恨。

平時看多了莎士比亞的劇本，滿腦子裡充滿了形形色色的報復的各種場景和戲劇衝突。總之是自己無法寧靜和平和，很難再找回到之前的享受生活樂趣的道路。

我走進格雷爾圖書館，坐在桌子前，看書。

看完了西方作者Gregory Ripley 寫的關於中國道家的一本叫做 The Hundred Remedies of the Dao 一書中第49章中 Without Resentment 受辱不怨為一藥的文字後，我徹底釋懷。

我想照抄分享如下：

When we are insulted, we may feel as though we are being attacked. We may feel as though we are being injured by the person insulting us. There could be many reasons for this. We may worry what people will think of us. We may worry that it makes us look bad. We may have just developed a habit of reacting emotionally to anything negative others say to us or about us. But if we pause and take a step back, we may come to realize that our worries are probably unfounded. Insults seem to only be as powerful as we allow them to be.

我一看到这段文字，我立刻傻眼了，天啊！这不是针对我写的吗？ 我不就是这样吗？三天前在职场中发生在我和我的直接主管之间的不愉快，我就是这样感觉的，也是这样认为的。我就是觉得她在羞辱我，在錯誤攻击我，我就是觉得很受伤。

我没有办法退回一步，让这些担忧消失。我甚至固执地坚持，我要回击她，即便她是人事经理的位置，她不应该这样对待我，她的做法明显违背公司的行为准则，我要直接找老板，让他出面干预。或者至少我要敲山震虎，警示她下次不要这样了。

作者进一步解释了很多，让我很受益，尤其是下面的几段文字：

When we respond without resentment, we are letting go of aversion. Or we might turn a potential negative situation into a positive one by letting it roll off our backs. We might even go so far as to thank the person for their opinion and wish them a nice day.

That kind of reversal might seem simple, but it can have a surprising psychological effect on our own mind and the other person's as well.

If we don't add fuel to the fire by reacting emotionally, any negative feelings they have toward us may also begin to dissiate.

的確如此，我不再對我的主管帶有憎恨，我一下子輕鬆快樂很多。