我的迷你靜坐

2022/12/06閱讀時間約 4 分鐘
距離上回發文過了十天,妳上線敲我問我怎麼了,我說覺得自己思緒一片空白,像是被「話不知從哪裡說起」給全面接管,也像一張開口就沒了聲音的狀態。
妳說,那麼讓我給妳一點兒靈感吧。
「連續好幾晚我在腦中哼唱一首歌曲,忘了歌名、想不起樂團團名,也像從沒學過英語般的呈失憶狀態,怎麼也唱不全一句歌詞,昨晚卻在夢境裡想起,那是他頭一回對我表達心意的歌。妳還記得嗎?」
我記得呢。我還想起妳喜愛的楊德昌電影《一一》,那段中年夫婦返家後彼此分享感悟的電影片段曾讓妳痛哭失聲:
「NJ說,本來以為再活一次會有什麼不一樣,沒想到其實沒有什麼不同;敏敏說,其實山上真的是沒有什麼不一樣。」(有興趣的格友可搜尋本片觀賞)。我雖明白妳此刻心裡的細微感受,卻不知還能對妳說些什麼。
於是,我找了幾張舊塗鴉給妳。妳記得我跟謝伊太太聊過的吧,這些塗鴉是無法安坐在蒲團上的我一次又一次的迷你靜坐,因為每張塗鴉畫的時間都不太長,所以被我稱為迷你靜坐。妳知道我很沒耐心的,每每下筆時總希望自己嘗試寫實,畫著畫著卻成了寫意。但願啊但願,當妳瞧著它們時,內心可以獲得一點點力量,像我的每場迷你靜坐一般,沉浸在專注而放鬆的力量裡安安心心地(有時還可以很耍寶很幽默呢)。
黃頭鷺與一片綠黃
馬來貘雜耍團與臺灣窗花
妳夢裡想起的歌:Like a Stone by Audioslave (Chris Cornell是詩人啊)
Chris Cornell的身影(照片來源: Like a Stone MV截圖)
On a cobweb afternoon, in a room full of emptiness
By a freeway, I confess I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death, reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest anywhere we want to go
In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
And on my deathbed, I will pray to the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone who will take me to Heaven
To a place I recall, I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised, the wine was bled
And there you led me on
In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone
And on I read, until the day was gone
And I sat in regret of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed, and all that I've wronged
In dreams, until my death I will wander on
In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone
來源:Musixmatch
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Ms. Rio
Ms. Rio
曾經的背包客、永遠的老書迷,作過行銷文案、廣播DJ、編輯、咖啡館勞工、學術底層勞工,2018年起開始塗鴉的自我治療者。總會在自介時感到尷尬不已的人類,那麼就繼續閱讀,繼續塗鴉吧。
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