感恩日記─出社會後影響我最大的人

Journal

感謝一路上幫助我的人

Gratitude to those who supported me along the way.

I still remember my first year after graduating from the foreign language department when I decided to become a teacher. It turned out to be quite a struggle! A year later, I quit because I realized teaching wasn't really my thing.

I casually applied for various jobs on websites like 1111 and 104, but my interviews didn't go smoothly. I thought it might be due to some communication barriers I had. Eventually, a chain shoe store accepted me. I recall the base salary was $14,700 with allowances and performance bonuses. In my first month, I think I earned around $21k or $23k; I can't quite remember, but my salary was on the lower side. This marked the beginning of my journey as a shoe store clerk.

During my time there, I met the person who had the most significant impact on me – someone named 小柔, my guardian angel. She got hired at the same time as I did, even though she appeared much younger. I was 24, and she looked around 18. She was tall, slender, with long, slightly curly hair, a cool expression, and heavy makeup. Perhaps because she smoked, her voice was a bit low, but she had a beautiful singing voice.

Because I'm naturally introverted and had various communication barriers, working as a shoe salesperson felt like a daunting task. At that time, when someone greeted me, I would often just stare without responding. Expressing myself was a challenge, and I struggled to find words. I might have had a touch of social anxiety. 小柔, on the other hand, was lively, kind, gentle, and caring. Despite the age gap, she was the one looking out for me. I was clueless about both work and life, and especially when customers asked me questions, I had no idea how to respond. Thankfully, she patiently practiced various everyday store conversations with me, gradually helping me become more talkative (I even struggled with basic sales, and it was embarrassing; my speaking skills were seriously lacking). When I took a personality test at school, I remember that most of the suitable career options for me were behind-the-scenes or research-related jobs – essentially, jobs that didn't require much talking. Taking on a job that required interacting with people was incredibly stressful for me. I even had nightmares about practicing conversations with people (like saying "welcome" or "how can I help you").

In terms of appearance, I fit the typical bookish girl stereotype – everyone said I looked nerdy, with messy hair that always seemed to stick up. One day, 小柔 probably couldn't stand my unruly hair anymore and started teaching me how to manage it and how to apply makeup. I remember the feeling when she applied makeup on me; her eyes looked so beautiful. I genuinely thought, "How can someone be so kind-hearted?" I decided that the world could still be a good place if there were beautiful people like her in it, and it shouldn't be destroyed.

I was bullied quite a bit when I was younger, and I used to think that I'd become antisocial and seek revenge on society as I grew up. But as I grew older, I met many kind people, and I didn't end up harming myself or becoming a terrorist. I remember one time she brought me home, and I watched her sorting her clothes and smoking. I remember the look in her eyes; it was as if she were looking at a five-year-old. She worked with colleagues who were like small children, or perhaps even autistic. It was tough on her, and I felt really sorry for her. In summary, during the year I worked with her, I learned many skills and qualities from her. It wasn't reality that bites me; it was my gentle and beautiful colleague who taught me how to speak and act.

As a socially awkward young adult, I transformed into a somewhat reserved young man, though I still don't talk much. But at least I can survive in society, and I'm very grateful to her. I hope she's doing well. I believe that good people receive good things, and she's such a kind person, so she'll surely meet many benefactors.

I owe a big thank you to 小柔. I've been a teacher for nearly a decade now. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have had the courage to speak up. I used to be quite introverted, and the idea of becoming a teacher seemed impossible. Teaching involves a lot of talking, after all!

The nickname

I gave my colleague, 小柔, a nickname – I called her "Lucy." That's because the name Lucy signifies "light," and I truly see her as such a beacon of kindness that her entire being radiates goodness.

The word "luc," at its core, means "brightness" and traces its origins back to the Latin word "lux." It's the same root used for iconic characters like Luke in Star Wars. There's even a movie called "LUCY," and you'll find a mention of "Lucy, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" in a famous Beatles song.

Just yesterday, I had a dream and, out of nowhere, thoughts of her flooded my mind. I reminisced about the time we spent together. I remembered how she discussed with me various ways to introduce our shoe collection, how she insisted I grab a meal when I was famished (during store events, we'd often be so busy that sometimes we couldn't even sit down for lunch until well after 4 PM, taking turns with our colleagues), how she looked while skillfully applying makeup, and how she encouraged me to try hair dye for the very first time.

To me, someone like her is indeed a shining light in this world. Her name truly suits her, wouldn't you say?

日記

在時光的流轉中，人生編織著精緻的篇章，這些轉折與重要時刻，勾勒出我們生命的本質。命運的捉摸引領著我踏上了一條充滿意外的道路，一位特別的靈魂永遠改變了我的生命軌跡。

還記得外文系畢業第一年我跑去當老師，結果各種不適應 = =!

一年後，我離職。覺得自己不是當老師這塊料。

隨便在1111和104人力銀行投履歷，面試各種不順。我想，大概是因為我有點溝通障礙。

後來，終於有一家公司錄取我了，是一家連鎖鞋店。還記得底薪14700+津貼+業績獎金，我第一個月好像領到21k還23k，我不太記得，總之薪水很低。我就此開啟了我的鞋店店員之路。在那裏，我遇到了一位非凡的靈魂，她改寫了我的生命軌跡。我遇到了影響我最大的人，他叫小柔──我的貴人。她是和我一起被錄取的同一批同事。我還記得她那時候好像才18歲，我24歲。她身材高挑修長，秀麗的長髮微微捲曲，表情總是很酷，畫濃妝。可能是因為會抽菸，她聲音有點低，但唱歌挺不錯的。

因為我個性挺木訥的，各種溝通障礙。所以要我去賣鞋子，其實有點天方夜談。那時候，別人和我打招呼，我大概就會定定地看人，不回答。總之，各種說不出話來，表達障礙。我可能有點社恐>口<

小柔她很活潑、善良溫柔又會照顧人，雖然我年紀比她大滿多的，但是被照顧的總是我。我是工作+生活白癡，各種智障操作。尤其是客人問我問題，我也不知道要回答什麼。還好，她滿有耐心的和我練習各種店員日常對話，使我漸漸地比較會講話。(我那時候連幫人結帳都會卡詞，慘不忍睹。說話能力-100) 我在學校測性向測驗的時候，我記得我適合的職業大概都是那種幕後工作、研究工作，總之就是不用講話的工作。我挑戰做這種要和人講話的工作，真的壓力很大。我記得我做惡夢都在練習跟人怎麼對話(歡迎光臨等等)

我的外表大概就是那種書呆子女生，大家都說我長的呆呆的、呆毛還會亂翹。

有一天，小柔可能看不下去我的頭髮總是亂翹。她開始教我怎麼整理頭髮，開始教我化妝。我還記得她幫我化妝時候的感覺，眼睛真的好漂亮。真的覺得怎麼有心地這麼善良的人。好吧！我決定這個世界還是可以存在的，如果有這麼美麗的人在世界上，世界還是不要毀滅的好。

我小時候被欺負得有點多，以前覺得我長大以後應該是反社會人格，各種報復社會的操作。但是長大之後，我認識了很多善良的人，所以沒有把自己殺了，也沒有變成恐怖份子。

還記得有一次她帶我回家，我看著她整理衣服，抽著菸。我還記得她看我的眼神，好像在看5歲小朋友。真是辛苦她了，同事是還沒長大的小小孩，還是自閉小孩。18歲就要承受這種重量，我覺得真的很對不起她。

總而言之，在小柔身邊度過的那一年，對我來說是一個充滿變革的時期。我從她身上學習到很多技能和優點。感謝不是社會教我做人，是我溫柔又漂亮的同事教我說話做事情。

我從不適應社會的自閉青年，被她帶成普通有點悶悶的青年，話還是很少─但總算還可以在社會上生存下去，很感謝她。希望她也過得很好

我是相信好人有好報的，她人那麼好，一定也會遇到許多貴人。

感謝小柔，我現在已經當了快10年的老師了。如果沒有她，我連開口講話都不太敢，就是個自閉青年，怎麼可能去當老師。畢竟，教學需要在課堂上說很多話！

私底下幫同事取的綽號

其實我偷偷幫小柔取了個綽號，叫做Lucy

因為Lucy這個名字是「光」的意思，我認為她就像一道善良的光芒，整個人都散發著溫暖。

字根luc，含意是「光亮的」，源自拉丁文lux，像是星際大戰的腳色Luke也是用這個字根。還有一部電影，名字就叫LUCY；披頭四的歌也有一首裡面有Lucy, Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

我昨天做夢，突然又想到她，想到我們相處的時光。想到她和我討論要怎麼介紹鞋子，想到我肚子餓她叫我先去吃飯(店裡面做活動時，超級忙，有時候下午四點以後才有時間吃午餐，得和同事輪流吃)、想到她幫我化妝的樣子、想到我第一次因為她挑染頭髮

我想，她這樣的人，就是這世界上的光！

人如其名