我的迷你靜坐

距離上回發文過了十天，妳上線敲我問我怎麼了，我說覺得自己思緒一片空白，像是被「話不知從哪裡說起」給全面接管，也像一張開口就沒了聲音的狀態。

妳說，那麼讓我給妳一點兒靈感吧。

「連續好幾晚我在腦中哼唱一首歌曲，忘了歌名、想不起樂團團名，也像從沒學過英語般的呈失憶狀態，怎麼也唱不全一句歌詞，昨晚卻在夢境裡想起，那是他頭一回對我表達心意的歌。妳還記得嗎？」

我記得呢。我還想起妳喜愛的楊德昌電影《一一》，那段中年夫婦返家後彼此分享感悟的電影片段曾讓妳痛哭失聲：

「NJ說，本來以為再活一次會有什麼不一樣，沒想到其實沒有什麼不同；敏敏說，其實山上真的是沒有什麼不一樣。」(有興趣的格友可搜尋本片觀賞)。我雖明白妳此刻心裡的細微感受，卻不知還能對妳說些什麼。

於是，我找了幾張舊塗鴉給妳。妳記得我跟謝伊太太聊過的吧，這些塗鴉是無法安坐在蒲團上的我一次又一次的迷你靜坐，因為每張塗鴉畫的時間都不太長，所以被我稱為迷你靜坐。妳知道我很沒耐心的，每每下筆時總希望自己嘗試寫實，畫著畫著卻成了寫意。但願啊但願，當妳瞧著它們時，內心可以獲得一點點力量，像我的每場迷你靜坐一般，沉浸在專注而放鬆的力量裡安安心心地(有時還可以很耍寶很幽默呢)。

妳夢裡想起的歌：Like a Stone by Audioslave (Chris Cornell是詩人啊)

On a cobweb afternoon, in a room full of emptiness
By a freeway, I confess I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death, reading how we'll die alone

And if we're good, we'll lay to rest anywhere we want to go

In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone

And on my deathbed, I will pray to the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone who will take me to Heaven
To a place I recall, I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised, the wine was bled
And there you led me on

In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone

Alone

And on I read, until the day was gone
And I sat in regret of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed, and all that I've wronged
In dreams, until my death I will wander on

In your house I long to be
Room by room, patiently
I'll wait for you there, like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone

來源：Musixmatch