優點就是缺點

Advantages and disadvantages—it's all the same

The younger me

A friend once said to me, "It's a Yin and Yang thing for us Taiwanese, you know? Yin within Yang, Yang within Yin. No pure advantages, no pure disadvantages. You get that?"

Back in my younger days, I didn't really buy into that philosophy.

"Advantages are advantages, and disadvantages are disadvantages. They're completely different things," I'd scoff.

Until...

I met my significant other.

My Personality: I'm more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person. "Why bust your chops when there might be an asteroid smashing into Earth tomorrow? "

"No need to break a sweat."

"Just take it easy. That's good enough."

"Whatever, it's all good."

I'm easily drawn to people with the opposite personality, especially those who are serious and excel academically.

"Ah! The person who approaches tasks with seriousness is the most handsome and beautiful." I'd fangirl.

Jem Sahagun on Unsplash

My Better Half:

My partner is the kind of person who takes everything super seriously. Whether it's playing video games, cooking, working, dancing, or playing the drums.

One day, I casually mentioned, "Honey, I'm in the mood for Tainan's Dan Dan noodles.

My darling came back with a bunch of ingredients, spent a good 40 minutes just pounding peanuts (yep, peanuts!), and even ground peanut sauce!  I just wanted a simple bowl of noodles, but upon hearing my craving, my darling decided to make chicken soup (which took about two to three hours), then used that soup to cook noodles because my honey believed boiling in plain water would make them taste bland──not a fan of MSG and prefers natural flavors of food.

I finally got to enjoy my Dan Dan noodles about three to four hours later.

"Oh my gosh, honey, I just wanted a simple meal. You're putting in so much effort; it makes me feel bad."

Episode Two:

My better half's second "serious" episode.

I play the piano, and my honey plays drums. We decided to exchange skills, and my darling took it way too seriously, ending up injuring hands. It really broke my heart. Truly, advantages can be disadvantages; don't take things too seriously.

Episode Three:

"Being serious" leads to arguments.

"If you do things seriously the first time, you won't need to redo them. Otherwise, if you do things casually the first time, you'll have to redo them, wasting time, right?"

"Think before you speak."

"Organize your thoughts before speaking."

"Speak logically."

"Don't just follow the crowd; have your own opinions."

Ah! My better half sounds just like my German-speaking English teacher from university, always saying the same things to me.

Episode Four:

"Don't slouch; you'll complain of back pain later." Even sitting in a chair requires serious attention. My better half started adjusting my sitting posture.

Conclusion:

I tend to gravitate towards people who take things seriously, but at the same time, I often find myself clashing with them.

In most cases, I see being "serious" as a positive quality. However, when it leads to arguments, it starts feeling like a "drawback."

A genuine strength can be a weakness, and a weakness can be a strength.

Or maybe, it's more about a person's inherent nature?

So, being "serious" should be seen as a "personal trait" rather than just a clear-cut virtue or flaw.

年輕的我

我朋友跟我說

「優點就是缺點啦！」我們台灣人講究陰陽，陰中有陽，陽中有陰；沒有純粹的優點、也沒有純粹的缺點，你分那麼清楚，你外國人喔？？？

年輕的我，是不信他那一套的。

「優點就優點，缺點就缺點。哪有優點就缺點的說法？」我輕蔑的說道

直到......

遇到了我的戀人

我的性格

我是那種挺混的性格

「啊！人幹嘛努力，搞不好明天就慧星撞地球，大家就掛了。不需要努力啦。」

「躺平。躺平就好了。」

「隨便、隨便啦。」

「差不多就好了，差不多先生很棒啊」

「天下無難事，只要肯放棄」

我很容易被我相反性格的人吸引，講白了點就是

「認真、自律、學富五車」屬性

我特別崇拜那種人

我覺得認真的人特別美、特別帥氣

「啊啊啊！真的好好看喔。」發出小迷妹的叫聲

「認真」這個屬性就是優點，我曾經這麼認為

我家寶貝

我家寶貝就是那種「很認真」的人類

他不管做什麼事情都很認真，打電動很認真、煮飯很認真、上班很認真、跳舞很認真、打鼓很認真，連坐姿、走路都很認真──每一步走的差不多距離，像是尺量過那樣。

有一次我跟他說

「寶貝，我想吃台南擔擔麵」

他去買了一堆食材回來

開始拿著槌子敲花生，光是看他敲花生就敲了40分鐘 = =!

然後連花生醬也自己磨

我只是想他簡單煮個麵，但他聽到我想吃麵

他先煮了雞湯(大概花兩三小時)，然後再拿雞湯裡的湯去煮麵，因為他覺得用白開水煮麵，麵沒味道，偏偏他又很討厭味精，他喜歡食物的原味，很堅持

所以我吃到擔擔麵大概是三個還四個小時之後???

我真的懷疑，如果不是我家太小，他會從麵糰開始揉起，感覺像是啥都自己來的人類。(我們家衣服破了，也是他負責縫補──家務萬能小叮噹)

總之，我說了什麼。他就會花很多時間去做，超級認真，也讓我超級汗顏>d<

「天啊！寶貝，我只是想簡單吃個麵，你就隨便煮煮就好了，
看你忙成那樣，我好心虛」

有時候你的認真，讓我壓力山大啊

啊啊啊啊！

事蹟二

我家寶貝「認真」事蹟二

我會彈鋼琴，我家寶貝會打鼓。所以我們就互相教學，我教他彈鋼琴，他教我打鼓。他太認真了

結果他「彈到手受傷」

心疼死我了 (╥﹏╥)

真的優點就是缺點，不要那麼認真

事蹟三

「認真」容易吵架

他很認真，不太能理解為什麼有人會不認真

「你第一遍把事情很認真的做好，就不用做第二遍。要不然你第一遍隨便做，就還要從來做第二遍，這樣不是很浪費時間嗎？」

我們常常爭論的就是，我覺得他「太認真」「太嚴肅」

他覺得我太隨便 ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

「你講話要先想過，才能講」

「講話前要先組織過」

「講話要有條理」

「不要人云亦云，要有自己的想法」

啊！我家寶貝真的好像我大學時英文口語訓練的德國老師，怎麼跟我講的話都一樣？

可以不要那麼認真嗎？我壓力好大 (눈‸눈)

這時候，我認為「認真」是缺點

事蹟四

「啊！不要坐歪歪的，你到時候又說背痛」

坐椅子，要認真的坐著。我家寶貝開始喬我的坐姿。

啊！寶貝，你好煩
但又覺得他很關心我，有一種異樣的開心？？？

這時候，真不知道該說是缺點還優點

我有點煩躁但又開心

總結

我很容易被認真的人類吸引，但也很容易跟這類人吵架

大部分時候，我覺得「認真」是優點

但他因此受傷，還有
我因此跟他吵架的時候，就覺得是「缺點」

真的優點就是缺點

缺點就是優點

或者應該說，這是特性？

所以「認真」應該算是「個人特質」，而不是說優點或缺點 (๑´ㅁ`)

其他

上次看到格友小蝦寫感情的文章，我有所觸動。我和我家寶貝個性很不一樣，生活上真的意見很多不一樣，各種磨合。

我跟小蝦說我也要寫一篇我感情上遇到的困難，就是這篇啦。

Monica Sya 小蝦 小蝦小蝦快來看