我的父親 My Father
The article is a bit fragmented; I write whatever comes to mind.
My mother's impression of my father.
My father is a very traditional person, my mom says he's a bit old-fashioned and has a strong sense of male chauvinism. You can't disagree with him; otherwise, things might get physical.
I am the only child willing to hug him
I'm the one in the family with the tightest bond with my dad, and I'm the only kid who'll give him a hug—probably 'cause I've got the highest combat talent!
Short Hair
Back when I was a kid, I had long hair, but as I got older, it was mostly short. Once, a friend asked me, "Why don't you keep long hair? You look like such a tomboy this way." She said, "Girls with long hair look the best!" She was all about that black, straight hair vibe, not knowing I was into it too!
Her question brought me back to when I was 13. We were all sitting in front of the TV, and my dad asked my 17-year-old sister to grab some grapes. She goes, "Can't it wait 'til the commercial? This part's getting good." Next thing you know, my dad's grabbed her by the hair and slammed her into the wall! At that age, I was pretty naive, and all I could think was
Keeping long hair is dumb; you can get caught up in a sec!
If you have a father who grabs hair and slams someone into a wall, you might not want to keep long hair. When my dad gets emotional, he can get so worked up that he resorts to violence. While others might stop getting physical after junior high, in our family, it continued until we were 20!
Nurse to a military officer
My 17-year-old sister, who was studying nursing at the time, originally planned to become a nurse. But after my dad hit her a few times, she ended up joining the military police (¬▂¬).
That's how life changes, right? Reality teaches you that girls must be able to defend themselves!
Started practicing martial
I started practicing Taekwondo since elementary school, then learned Muay Thai, boxing, Tai Chi, Baguazhang, Praying Mantis Fist, Aikido (won the third place in the National College Cup), staff techniques, katana, and spear. There probably aren't many girls like me, who have practiced a single punching technique on tires or sandbags over a hundred thousand times!
Honestly, practicing punches is really painful, and I often get internal injuries that require traditional Chinese medicine for recovery. Sometimes, the spikes on the tires even penetrate the skin!
Martial arts skills must be highly proficient.
In our family, combat skills really can't be lacking; at the very least, you need to be able to beat Dad = =!
I remember when I was in sixth grade, the court awarded custody to my dad. At that time, I thought, "I need to get good at martial arts!"
I'm the only one
My dad probably likes me the most because I'm the only one in our family who, when he's angry, doesn't avoid him but sits in front of him, ready to give him a hug. In fact, when I hug him, I'm always prepared to use a joint lock >D< I can't help it; joint techniques might come in handy during those moments. I can't use striking techniques!
In this respect, I'm quite traditional; I won't hit my dad.
Hatred
I used to hate my dad a lot, wondering why he would hit his wife and children, making people around him so miserable. After growing up, I suddenly stopped hating him. Perhaps in this world, no one is obligated to be responsible for you, whether it's your parents or your lover. After growing up, I live by the principle of treating others the way they treat me. Whatever my dad spent on raising me, I'll repay him when I grow up—that's it!
When I was a child, I was indifferent to everything around me except practicing martial arts. I always felt that one day, when my dad went to hit my mom or my sister again, I might not be able to bear it, and I would end up in prison after retaliating. Since I would eventually go to jail, why bother trying hard?
Unexpectedly, they divorced—I missed the chance to go to prison. In junior high, there were only my dad and me at home. At that time, I could already beat him in a fight, so he didn't dare to mess with me.
Love
I find the word "love" quite repulsive. Perhaps because when I was young, my dad's excuse for hitting someone was sometimes, "I love you, that's why I get angry." "I love you, that's why I hit you."
Although I don't understand this logic, when I was a child, I really hated the word "love" because, to me, "love" equaled getting beaten.
It wasn't until I grew up that I realized love isn't about hitting people. Love should be a beautiful word, not one synonymous with violence.
Martial Arts Coach
My old martial arts coach once said I had a knack for this stuff, like I was some kind of one-in-a-million prodigy. I just gave him a little smile and said thanks. Truth be told, what I was really thinking was, "I don't want this talent. I just want a dad who doesn't throw punches for no reason."
這篇文章有點斷斷續續，我想到什麼就寫什麼。
母親對他的印象
我的父親是一位很傳統的人，據我媽說是沙豬大男人主義──不能和他意見相左，否則就可能會動手。
我是家裡唯一會理他的小孩
我是我們家和我父親感情最好的人，也是家裡唯一願意給他一個擁抱的小孩──可能是我武力値最高吧！
為什麼剪短頭髮
我小時候是長髮，不過大一點後幾乎都是短髮，有一次我朋友問我，你怎麼不留長髮？你這樣打扮很像T耶。她說：「女生留長頭髮最好看了！」她很喜歡黑長直，殊不知其實我也喜歡黑長直！
我朋友的問題讓我聯想到我13歲那年，我們一群人坐在電視機前面看電視。我爸叫那時17歲的姐姐去拿葡萄，我姊那時候說：「等廣告好嗎？現在正精彩呢。」我爸爸一把抓起她的頭髮往牆壁上撞！我那時候還很幼稚，當時心裡的想法竟然是
留長頭髮好愚蠢，被人一下子就抓到了！
如果你有個會抓頭髮往牆壁上撞的父親，可能也不想留長髮吧。我爸是情緒來了，就會激動到動手的人。別人家可能國中之後就不打了，我們家是20歲還是照打不誤！
護士變成女士官
那時17歲的姐姐是唸護校，本來以後出社會要當護士。結果被我爸爸打了幾次，後來跑去考女士官了 (¬▂¬)
這就是生活改變未來吧？現實會教導你，女生一定要能打！
從國小開始練武術
我從國小就開始練跆拳道，之後學了泰拳、拳擊、太極拳、八極拳、螳螂拳、合氣道(合氣道拿過大專盃全國第三)、棍法、武士刀、長槍。應該很少女生跟我一樣，光是練一招刺拳，就打輪胎/沙袋 十萬次以上吧！
老實說，練拳真的挺痛的，還常常內傷要看中醫調養。輪胎的毛刺有時候還會刺進皮膚裡面！
武力值很重要
在我家武力值真的不能不高，至少要打得贏老爸 = =!
還記得我小六的時候，法院把我判給我爸。那時候，我想──我得把拳練好才行！
我是我們家唯一一個願意擁抱他的小孩
我爸可能最喜歡我
因為我是我們家唯一一個他生氣的時候，不會閃去其他地方，而是還坐在他前面，可能在他激動時會給他一個擁抱的人。
其實我在擁抱他的時候，也隨時準備擒拿他 XD
沒辦法，學關節技可能就得用在這時候。我總不能用打擊技吧！
我在這方面還是挺傳統的，不會打老爸。
恨
我曾經很恨我爸，覺得為什麼他要打老婆、打小孩，讓周遭的人那麼痛苦？長大之後，突然間就不恨了。或許這世界上本來就沒有人要為了你負責、沒有人有義務關心你，不管是你的父母還是愛人。我長大之後秉持著別人對我怎樣，我就對別人怎樣的觀念活著。我爸花了多少錢養我，我長大之後就還他多少，就這樣！
小時候我是躺平派，除了練拳之外對周遭的事物不太關心。總覺得有一天我爸又去打我媽、打我姊的時候，我可能受不了，對他幹嘛以後就進監獄了。既然遲早會進去，幹嘛努力？
沒想到，他們離婚了──我喪失了進監獄的機會。我國中時家裡就剩我和我爸兩個，那時候我打架已經打得贏他了，所以他也不會沒事打我。
愛
我對「愛」這個字挺反感的。可能是因為小時候我爸打人的藉口有時候是：「我愛你們，才會生氣。」
「我愛你，才打你。」
雖然我不懂這個邏輯，但我小時候覺得「愛=被打」，對這個字真的挺討厭的。
長大之後才認識到，愛不是揍人，愛應該是一個美好的字詞，而不是和暴力畫上等號。
武術教練
曾經我的武術教練說我很有練武天分，是「萬中選一」的人。我笑笑的謝謝他。其實我那時心理想的是
「我不想要這個天賦。我只想要有一個不會亂打人的父親。」
