Alyson’s 4/06 Tarot：滋養 孕育 Nurturing (8-57)
問題：我4/05的未來日記主題
抽牌：滋養 孕育 Nurturing
今天早晨自然清醒後的第一個思緒是，今天是幾月幾號？現在是幾點？
第二個思緒是，我今天到底有什麼事情嗎？
我的生活早已沒了工作日或休假日的差別。
除非有特地安排事情，只有在寫每日塔羅牌時，會因每日抽到的牌卡不同而需要思考不同主旨的書寫，不然每一天都像是複製日，沒有太大差別。
對於今天的「未來日記」，說真的，我沒有任何的頭緒。
在家的時光，通常沒有特別的事情，要如何用”過去式”去寫今日的日記呢。
可不積極找事情，就會開天窗。
我猶豫不已。
午後，朋友群組裡有朋友說想進行塔羅讀牌。
哇！這是昨晚的心想事成嗎？
https://www.popdaily.com.tw/forum/diary/1491819
昨天晚上我有想到，如果塔羅讀牌可以開張，也許有機會啟動我這方面的事業。
雖然我完全不積極，且也沒有計畫何時開始，如何開始，怎麼開始自己的事業。
過去幾個月，就是嘴巴喊喊，每天抽塔羅牌，閱讀塔羅牌，設計心情紀錄卡，寫讀牌和衍伸的想法。
有時候我們面臨膠著的，不知還能怎麼努力才能打破僵局時，就會盼望著有股外力來個衝擊。
最好是往正向扯過去的拉力，這樣就能啟動磁場開始轉動。
機會滾輪就也開始運轉，好機會就會來降臨。
“滋養/孕育”是很深奧又美好的涵義。
今日”善的種子”種植下去，有些會經過刻意的培育或給予滋養，有些就是自然地不刻意耕耘，我們無法預料哪日會以什麼形式，在哪裡收成。
我總警惕自己別犯錯，別對不住人，別欺負人。
過去在我腦袋空乏的時候，曾被多人鄙棄，瞧不起，認為我是寄生蟲，只會依賴著他們。
其實，我並沒有想太多。
那時的我認為因那些事情我不擅長，也不懂，不要給予過多意見和想法。
有人願意主導，有人負責協助，無法幫忙的人就是跟隨。
我從來未曾預料到一開始說好願意讓我跟隨的話語，只是說說而已。
我的”無意見跟隨”，造成別人的累贅，可那時的我是不知悉的。
我後來知道原來那是客氣的語言，這就又是我不懂的另一個層面。
朋友間，喜不喜歡，要不要，肯不肯，直說無妨，何須繞這麼多彎。
加上那幾年的我沒有心思和心力注意。
讓人不喜歡了，自己都不知道。
唉！何苦如此。
從那以後，這塊友誼田地，我就沒再積極培育和經營。
因為我深深得明白，一片土壤裡滿是玻璃、石頭、碎石和垃圾，是無法培養出好事情。
需要磨合的不是只有愛情，友情不也是需要。
人的心力就只有哪樣多。
人的一生有多綿長？
這種時候就是要聰明一些，將心力和愛澆灌在會有回饋你的土地上。
就如同農夫，在種植前，會先評估過那片土地是否肥沃，是否合適。
弱水三千，只取一瓢。
要讓你的愛，獨特一點。
偏愛，很可愛。
交付錯了心，那就趕緊停損，止損。
別被不甘心、不甘願給迷惘傷痕累累的靈魂。
寧願自己抱頭痛哭，也不要自我作賤，貶低自己如塵埃。
我們的滋養。
我們的孕育。
我們的心意。
我的的愛情。
只灌溉在兩相奔赴的關係裡。
沒有什麼是無悔。
沒有什麼是無怨。
寫到這裡，可以確定的是與「未來日記」完全離題。
可，與今日塔羅「滋養/孕育」有著直接關係。
回歸正題。
我今日，若有發生美好的事情，那是過去花費心思滋養孕育的因。
我這一世，這種時候可以多些任性，也許是我累積好多世修習，孕育後得來的果。
當我們羨慕時，可想想，自己曾付出過什麼。
當我們埋怨時，也想想，自己可曾付出過什麼。
當我們被羨慕時，再想想，自己曾付出過什麼。
當我們被嫌棄時，需想想，自己可曾付出過什麼。
種植、滋養、孕育，日後方有果。
天生福報多的，有自然給予。
天生福報較少的，那就自己種植，自己耕耘、培育、滋養。
而我今天的「滋養孕育」牌與這週的「改變」主題牌是如何串聯在一起的。
我想，很大的可能性是，我從〝改變〞為基本調去思考”滋養與孕育”。
我太過重情，對於失落、失去，心裡總會有想要強留的勉強，常把自己搞得心糟糟，淚淌不停。
這幾個禮拜我一直持續不斷學習〝道別〞，學習接受道別後的空虛，學習接受道別後，就真的是翻篇與想念。
我也從心裡調整。
道別，讓對方放心啟程離去。
道別，讓自己的心安住安定。
Alyson's 4/06 Tarot: Nurturing
Question: My theme for the future diary on 4/05
Card drawn: Nurturing
The first thought upon waking naturally this morning was, "What day is it today? What time is it?"
The second thought was, "Do I have anything to do today?"
My life no longer distinguishes between weekdays and weekends.
Unless there are specific arrangements, each day feels like a replica, with little difference.
As for today's "future diary," to be honest, I have no clue.
Time spent at home usually involves nothing special.
How do I write today's diary entry in the past tense without actively seeking activities?
Without proactive engagement, one tends to drift. I hesitate.
In the afternoon, a friend in a group chat expressed a desire to do tarot readings.
Wow! Did my wish from last night come true?
Last night, I pondered that if tarot readings could kick off, perhaps there's a chance to kickstart my career in this area.
Although I'm not proactive at all and have no plans for when, how, or where to start my own business.
For the past few months, it's just been lip service, drawing tarot cards every day, reading tarot cards, designing mood cards, and writing about readings and related ideas.
Sometimes when we're stuck and don't know how to break the deadlock, we hope for an external force to make an impact.
It's best to pull towards positive forces from the past, so the magnetic field can start to spin.
The wheel of opportunity starts turning, and good opportunities come knocking.
"Nurturing" is a profound and beautiful concept.
Today, planting the seeds of kindness, some will undergo deliberate nurturing or nourishment, while others will naturally flourish without deliberate cultivation.
We can't predict when or in what form we will reap the harvest.
I always caution myself not to make mistakes, not to wrong others, not to bully others.
In times of mental emptiness in the past, I was often ridiculed by many, looked down upon, considered a parasite who only relied on them.
In reality, I didn't think much about it. Back then, I thought that because I wasn't good at or didn't understand those things, I shouldn't offer too many opinions or thoughts.
Some are willing to lead, some are responsible for assisting, and those who can't help just follow.
I never anticipated that the words agreeing to let me follow in the beginning were just talk.
My "unopinionated compliance" became a burden to others, but I was unaware at the time. Later, I realized that it was polite language, another aspect I didn't understand.
Among friends, whether you like it or not, whether you want to or not, it's okay to speak directly without beating around the bush.
And during those years, I didn't have the mental energy or focus to notice.
If someone didn't like me, I didn't even know it.
Oh, why bother?
Since then, I haven't actively nurtured or cultivated this friendship territory. Because I deeply understand that a soil full of glass, stones, gravel, and garbage cannot cultivate anything good.
It's not just love that needs adjustment; friendship does too.
Human energy is limited. How long is a person's life?
At times like these, one must be wise and pour their energy and love into the land that will give back.
Just like a farmer, before planting, they evaluate whether the land is fertile and suitable.
Of the myriad waters, only a drop is taken. Let your love be unique.
Partiality is lovely.
If you invest in the wrong heart, quickly cut losses.
Don't let a confused soul burden you with reluctance and uncertainty.
Better to cry with your head held high than to degrade yourself like dust.
Our nurturing.
Our cultivation.
Our intentions.
My love.
They're only nourished in mutually committed relationships.
There's nothing to regret. There's nothing to resent.
Writing to this point, it's clear that it's completely off-topic from the "future diary."
But it's directly related to today's tarot card, "Nurturing."
Back to the point.
If something wonderful happens to me today, it's because of the nurturing and cultivation efforts I've made in the past.
In this life, I can afford to be a little more willful at times, perhaps because of the accumulated merits from many lifetimes of cultivation.
When we envy, think about what we have sacrificed.
When we complain, also think about what we have sacrificed.
When we are envied, think again about what we have sacrificed.
When we are despised, we need to think about what we have sacrificed.
Planting, nurturing, and cultivating lead to fruit in the future.
For those naturally blessed, they receive without effort.
For those with fewer blessings, they need to plant, cultivate, and nurture themselves.
And how does today's "Nurturing" card relate to this week's theme of "Change"?
I think there's a high possibility that I've shifted my focus from "Change" to "Nurturing."
I'm too emotionally attached, always wanting to cling on to what's lost.
This often leaves me feeling miserable, with tears flowing endlessly.
For the past few weeks, I've been continuously learning to "say goodbye," to accept the emptiness that comes after farewells, and to truly move on and stop longing.
I've also adjusted from the heart.
Goodbye, allowing the other person to depart with peace of mind.
Goodbye, letting my own heart settle and find peace.
#DreamCatcherTarot
#Tarot
#DCTarotreader
#Tarotcards
#BeYuSelfBOSS
#BlessedDream
#Alyson
#Nurturing
