The girl who's driving - Ep1

The music flowing from the loud speaker of her Tesla Model 3 seems to be penetrating into every steel hole of the inner compartment of the car. She has been driving her car since she’s lent it from her former boyfriend when both of them were still stuck with each other as if they were pairs of vines dangling onto the brownish cliff in order not to fall. Yet, they hadn’t known the tight grip didn’t guarantee an infinite clinging. One day, if it has to fall, it still falls. The second thing she didn’t expect was that he didn’t ask her to return this little car. Out of no reason. Out of nowhere. Just like that this relationship came from nowhere, and went to nowhere. The melody was gently and gracefully played inside out every inch of the grey skin of her compartment and filled up every little part of this tiny private moving space. A space of her own. One song has stopped. Another continues the hurdle.

Her phone rings. She knows that it's the sound of message pop-up. The message reads:

She never does two things in her life. One is reading ad on the phone. Second, she never lets herself drive into a dead silence because only when there’s some sounds even as white noise can she stays focused. The next song was sung by a Taiwanese singer, Fish Leong, who she has known since she knew the former owner of this car. She didn’t know any Taiwanese song back then since her music taste has just been being developed not for long and not so well which was just like an embryo. He helped her music ear grow. He helps her grow. She was open to anything to come into her life, as she has always been. So is the time when she peacefully accepted his departure from the relationship. She is open to all possibilities. It can’t be judged impulsively to give a very clear statement that she hadn’t expected its coming. She had thought about all kinds of possibilities and THAT was absolutely one of them.

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Also, there was one thing she didn’t quite expect tonight. She thought she could only drive with a sober mind but the fact lies in the steady way she is holding the steering wheels. Her eyes are barely closed but her mind is wide awake. A state she can’t truly explain. Hardly can anyone else, she thinks. Is she afraid that she might die in case she bumps into a tree and suffers a fatal blow?

No, never. She is not afraid of anything, especially anything that is unexpected, including death. What she is secretly thinking is even shocking to probably people other than her: when she is not having a passenger inside her car, and when she knows that she won't hurt or kill anybody, she doesn’t mind crushing herself sitting in this car even it means her death. She always imagines: it would be better if there was no loud noise, just like the moment when the vine finally, fails to cling on the cliff.