「欸,喜歡我嗎?」
我們兩個還是在一起……
就算是墮落……
像我這種自以為是、裝模作樣,只懂得看人臉色、迎合別人,惹人厭的女孩子,真的值得幸福嗎?每個成長階段、連衣服穿搭,都由媽媽決定,連喜歡誰的決定權都被媽媽支配,值得被人「愛」嗎?像我這種毫無主見,凡事只聽媽媽的話的小孩,真的值得擁有「人生」嗎?這種「缺乏自我」,活得像只白陶瓷換裝人偶,掛著如此不祥笑容的東西,能稱得上是「人」嗎?
. . .
You are going to the Holy Blessing—why?—it is an all-girl high school run by a catholic church. Don’t worry—the sisters won’t actually wash your brain with their church doctrines—teachers are teachers; they teach, not convert any student into a Christian. They are as fine as the teachers in other normal high schools; the only difference is that they wear a cross pendant on their necks.
So you won’t get distracted by unnecessary entertainment or chased around by filthy sex-thirsty high school boys. . . Trust me—Mommy went there when I was little, so I know. Mommy know what’s the best for you, Ariel.
It’s closer to home, so you don’t have to waste your time on commuting. Besides, Mommy don’t like you to goof around in the downtown area after school—head straight home, you understand?
First Girls?—You don’t have to go there, do you have to?—Mommy heard most of the girls out there play really hard as well as study hard—and not only that. Rumor has it: that school is now officially occupied by homosexuals—Good Heavens! Now the National Education is teaching our children to become a homosexual—most scandalous! Mommy don’t want you to get poisoned by homosexuality. Boys are bad; lesbians?—even worse: they can turn innocent girls into their own kind—that’s why—they are zombies.
Mommy don’t want you to get caught in the degenerate atmosphere in First Girls and eventually squander your time when all you have to do is study for the college entrance exam—Mommy want you to study in one of the leading universities.
Besides, if you want to get admitted into NXU via the Multi-Star Project, the chances are better in the Holy Blessing than in First Girls. You don’t have to compete with the First Girls students—why—they love fierce competitions. Let them have what they ask for. What have Mommy taught you? Choose your opponents wisely, if you have to fight a crucial fight you must not lose.
Even though you are in a second-rate girl’s high school, Mommy still want you to be la crème de la crème among the students. So, you will have to study in their Humanity and Social Science class. Don’t worry. It still counts as an “elite” class in the school, though not as good as the Mathematics and Science class in other leading high schools. Don’t worry—Mommy will get the best teachers the Holy Blessing can offer—la crème de la crème, Mommy assure you—how?—don’t you worry about it. Mommy has My “way”—you don’t frown, nothing to worry about—Mommy just have to “talk to” some “people”—you will learn from the best teachers, so make sure you get good grades in the following semester, you hear?
Good, my sweet heart.
Enjoy your high school life.