《繁花》in process
這次試了不習慣的大幅作品，讓我有一種既熟悉又陌生的感覺 – 其實這張圖我之前畫過一張小版的，但當開始畫大尺寸時才發現 — — 原來那不是「重畫一次」，而是一次全新的探索。
立體的質感、顏料的堆疊、空間感的延展，每一層都和我記憶中的小幅畫面完全不同。
彷彿走進了熟悉的夢，但這次夢境的場景變得更深、更廣、更有重量。
「給自己一點實驗的空間吧。」
因為右手發炎，部分區域派了左手上場，反而產生了預料外的筆觸，成了一種意外的趣味（當然也要付出代價，比方有些太怪的地方）
說真的，我沒想到畫這幅畫會花這麼多時間（笑）一開始還是會忍不住想：「我是不是太沒效率了？」但畫到後來，我開始享受那種不確定感，有時候的色彩變化，甚至有一種奇妙的怦然心動。
進廚房就不要怕燙傷，要做實驗就得付出「效率不彰」的代價，換來的好處是「摸索的趣聞」。而我在這一次次的試驗與試錯中，收到了好多感受上的驚喜。這讓我突然覺得 — — 原來我不用一直對「畫太久」這件事感到那麼焦慮。（其實還是要，但不再這麼徬徨了😂）
一個做音樂的朋友分享他做實驗性音樂的時候，會覺得內心有一股強烈的渴望：「是想玩、想創新、想感受從沒感受過的東西。」
我覺得我這次真的體會到了那種心情。
實驗性不只是媒材上的體驗，更是我內心情感的流動方式；那些被顏色意外喚醒的思緒，大概就是這張畫中得到最大的禮物了。
This time, I worked on a large version of a painting I had already done in a smaller size.
I thought it would feel familiar — but surprisingly, it turned into a completely new journey.
The textures, the way the paint layered, the depth of the space… everything CHANGED when the scale changed.
It felt like stepping back into a dream I once knew, but now it had grown deeper, wider, and heavier in emotion.
One of the best parts? The unexpected surprises.
Every time two colors met and created something new, it was like a spark of joy.
Those unplanned brushstrokes became the most alive parts of the painting.
– Honestly, I didn’t expect this piece to take so much time. At first, I worried: “Am I being inefficient?”, but then I started to truly enjoy the process.
I realized — efficiency and creativity are not the same thing.
Just because something takes longer doesn’t mean it’s less valuable.
A friend of mine, who makes experimental music, once said that he feels a strong desire during the process: To play, to create something new, to feel what he’s never felt before.
Now I understand that feeling. This painting gave me that exact sense of wonder.
Experimentation, I’ve learned, isn’t only about technique or materials, I t’s also about exploring emotions.
The thoughts and feelings that surfaced through color and form —maybe that was the real gift this painting gave me.
