【音樂分享 #1】The Poet and The Pendulum （詩人與鐘擺）-面對死亡的恐懼
想要介紹一系列陪伴我度過黑暗時期的音樂。雖然狀態良好時也會聽~~哈
低潮時我喜歡聽同樣憂鬱的音樂。歡樂的歌曲平時偶爾會聽，但陷入抑鬱時我反而更聽不下去。我更多的喜歡聽那些描繪生死、苦痛、悲傷、憤怒的音樂，感覺身陷情緒旋渦的自己不完全是孤單的，自己的情緒被接納、被同理。
#1 The Poet and The Pendulum （詩人與鐘擺）
出自芬蘭交響金屬樂團Nightwish的2007年專輯《Dark Passion Play》，靈感來自艾倫坡的小說《The Pit and The Pendulum》（陷阱與鐘擺）。
小說描述主角被西班牙宗教法庭判處死刑，關在黑暗的房間裡。房間裡有個鐘擺式的利刃，一邊擺動一邊緩緩下降。主角看著那個鐘擺一步步逼近，迎接自己的死亡。
專輯封面
這首歌就是在講述直面死亡的恐懼，將死之人的內心情緒湧動，痛失孩子的父母的哀悼。鍵盤手Tuomas將自己身陷憂鬱的經歷與此故事融合，使自己成了這個故事中的主角。歌詞與旁白中還出現Tuomas的名字、作曲家等作為暗示。
全曲長度近14分鐘，分為多個章節。唱詩班男孩合唱團的吟唱與旁白、氣勢磅礡交響樂、美聲女高音，以及一貫的重金屬橋段烘托故事高潮。對生死議題、恐懼、悲傷、憤怒、哀嘆等各種情緒的細膩描繪，加上豐富的配器，聽完彷彿看完一部史詩電影!
Wembley 2015 Live
樂團在現場表演的視覺呈現也用了一個大大的鐘擺在螢幕上
整首曲目分為五個章節
1. White Lands Of Empathica 共情純白之境
第一段就來個倒敘法，先說結局。男童唱詩班柔和地講述主角死亡後終得解脫，進入再無罪惡的純白之境，任何生前的苦與惡皆消散。
純白之境也許是一個人想像中最美好單純的時光，可以是過去的任何回憶，或僅僅是幻想。
The end
The songwriter's dead
The blade fell upon him
Taking him to the white lands
Of empathica
Of innocence
Empathica
Innocence
2. Home 家園
進入重節奏的橋段，主角面對死亡，以旁觀視角回顧自己一生。自己是個什麼樣的人，到底以什麼姿態過著自己的人生。充滿懊悔、哀怨，還夾雜著憤怒。這個階段還聽得到一些不甘與憤慨。主角彷彿在對著上帝告解，希望死亡來臨時帶自己的靈魂回家。
The dreamer and the wine
Poet without a rhyme
A widowed writer torn apart by chains of hell
One last perfect verse
Is still the same old song
Oh Christ how I hate what I have become Take me Home
Getaway, runaway, fly away
Lead me astray to dreamer’s hideaway
I cannot cry ’cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
Forgive me I have but two faces
One for the world
One for God Save me
I cannot cry ’cause the shoulder cries more
I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
3. The Pacific 太平洋
進入慢板，大提琴為主旋律，與主唱美聲的旋律交織。主角開始接受自己將迎來死亡，對於死亡的恐懼此時化作最後的留戀，緬懷美好的童年。
後段畫風突變，以銅管樂器襯托出死前驚懼的氛圍，旁白講述主角的喃喃自語，祈求死亡盡快來臨。
Sparkle my scenery
With turquoise waterfall With beauty underneath The Ever Free
Tuck me in beneath the blue
Beneath the pain, beneath the rain Goodnight kiss for a child in time Swaying blade my lullaby
On the shore we sat and hoped
Under the same pale moon Whose guiding light chose you Chose you all
I’m afraid, I’m so afraid
Being raped again, and again, and again
I know I will die alone
But loved
You live long enough to hear the sound of guns
long enough to find yourself screaming every night
long enough to see your friends betray you
For years I’ve been strapped unto this altar
Now I only have three minutes and counting
I just wish the tide would catch me first and give me a death I always longed for.
4. Dark Passion Play 黑色受難
這段是全曲中最震撼的部分，描繪執刑。
接受自己將死的主角，將心中所有怨恨傾洩而出。歌詞隱諱地暗示主角經歷過怎樣的羞辱、欺瞞，自嘲或許他的死亡並不值得被哀悼。
後段再來一段旁白，宣判主角的死亡，描述死亡時的情景。
2nd robber to the right of Christ
Cut in half – infanticide
The world will rejoice today As the crows feast on the rotting poet
Everyone must bury their own
No pack to bury the heart of stone
Now he’s home in hell, serves him well Slain by the bell, tolling for his farewell
The morning dawned upon his altar
Remains of the dark passion play
Performed by his friends without shame Spitting on his grave as they came
Getaway, runaway, fly away
Lead me astray to dreamer’s hideaway
I cannot cry ’cause the shoulder cries more I cannot die, I, a whore for the cold world
旁白
Today, in the year of our Lord 2005
Tuomas was called from the cares of the world
He stopped crying at the end of each beautiful day
The music he wrote had too long been without silence
He was found naked and dead,
With a smile in his face, a pen and
1000 pages of erased text
“Save Me”
5. Mother & Father 父與母
以父母視角輕唱，安魂曲般的終章，一切落幕。父母撫慰孩子，你到家了，不再有流血與恐懼。我們愛你。不知道是主角的父母在哀悼主角，亦或是主角的靈魂進入想像中的天國。
結尾承接開頭，“The beginning”
Be still, my son
You’re home
Oh when did you become so cold?
The blade will keep on descending
All you need is to feel my love
Be still, my son
You’re home
Oh when did you become so cold?
The blade will keep on descending
All you need is to feel my love
“The Beginning”
結語
聆聽這首長達近14分鐘的歌，一點都不會覺得時間很長。喜歡獨自反覆聽，情緒來時跟著音樂一起宣洩或哭泣。暫時從捆住自己的故事中抽離，聽聽周遭的故事。
也許現實生活中無人理解自己的經歷，無處訴說。但音樂裡總有呼應我們感受的樂章，聽我們說，跟我們一起說。
