看本文之前,想和你分享一段,以「陪伴關係」(companioning)相對於「治療」(treating)模式而知名的悲傷諮商師Alan D. Wolfelt醫師在《陪伴與治療》寫著:
【Companioning is about being still; it is not about frantic movement forward
「陪伴」是保持靜止,而非急著向前行
Companioning is about discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it is not about filling every painful moment with words
是發現沉默的奧妙,而非用言語填滿每一個痛苦的片刻
Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head
是用心傾聽,而非用腦分析
Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about directing those struggles
是見證他人掙扎歷程,而非指導他們脫離掙扎
Companioning is about being present to another person's pain; it is not about taking away the pain
是出席他人的痛苦情境,而非加強秩序與邏輯
Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic
是敬重失序與混亂,而非加強秩序與邏輯
Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.
我只想告訴大家,我們不是醫生、護士或心理師,我們不是專業醫療人士,我們無法提供正確的醫療治療,但至少、至少,拜託,就給他們一個「擁抱」好嗎?不要因為他們一直在悲傷、痛苦、憂鬱繞轉,而感到不耐煩、疏遠、冷落甚至敷衍而放棄張開你們的雙手,讓他們更縮回自己世界,好嗎?德蕾莎修女(Mother Teresa)說“We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”(我們不能做偉大的事,只能以偉大的愛來做小事)