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text-align: left; line-height: 25px; } .lexical__textBold { font-weight: bold; } .lexical__textItalic { font-style: italic; } .lexical__textUnderline { text-decoration: underline; } .lexical__textStrikethrough { text-decoration: line-through; } .lexical__textUnderlineStrikethrough { text-decoration: underline line-through; } .lexical__textSubscript { font-size: 0.8em; vertical-align: sub; } .lexical__textSuperscript { font-size: 0.8em; vertical-align: super; } .lexical__textCode { background-color: rgb(240, 242, 245); padding: 1px 0.25rem; font-family: Menlo, Consolas, Monaco, monospace; font-size: 94%; } 夜晚時分內心深處蠢蠢衝擊聲逐漲高,這樣荒謬的日子?還要繼續裝傻迷糊混雜的日以繼夜混下去?出去後往何處方向?自我矛盾複雜對抗心態,在多年前冒然逃離台北後遺症候群燃起,但在家過渡日如年歲月亦是內心深處矛盾複雜心起,無語問蒼天喔!巧是堂弟遇偶聊起北上事宜,更如天外恩賜良機亮點,經內容告知後是到姨丈的工寮當學徒,相邀有伴同行與親戚關係就業當學徒,堂弟熟悉姨丈過程往來事宜,就相約某日會合北上就業。既有逃離困頓身心俱疲的解脫機會,當然珍惜把握一絲懸念,即刻起反常平日怠慢意氣懶散心,身心眼神專注警覺內(儲備應對外出所需)&外(在家讓爸媽家人們降低緊盯與關注我心態)。說起堂弟亦是類似我背景因素生態,祖輩疼孫受寵過頭的症候群言行舉止,在親屬們皆是頭痛孩童喔!所謂的物以類聚印證喔!就這樣趁夜晚餐後約聚車會合搭末班客運出發,整趟行程混雜矛盾心態是對?是錯?是可?或是不該?夜色火車上絲毫無心賞景,是月圓亮光籠罩大地與稀疏燈光成對比互映,隨車北上ㄧ幕幕夜色風景飄過,輕喚起童年至今過程點滴回憶湧上心頭。就這樣迷迷糊糊困倦身心俱疲下,轉搭幾個公車上下後,出現眼前是矮屋磚瓦與鐵皮不協調混搭的工寮前,整個陷入混亂心思頭緒時,突背後傳來喊叫ㄧ聲:來了。回頭一看是姨丈叫聲,在樹蔭與雜亂磚牆屋瓦間有晨曦迷霧間環繞景觀,在雜亂無章不協調的另類美感。卸下行李與洗把臉稍整身裝,隨之姨丈步行去享用早點止餓!經整晚奔波車上勞盹折騰沿途旅程!經簡易說明工作規章與生活作息後,換上工作服就上工,首次面對在異鄉學徒心,頗不法適應環境感受,在家優渥舒暢待遇,而今全然極端差異化對比,突燃起悔恨心湧現自找苦難學徒生態。另一心想逃離苦海家庭折騰為先,好歹換個環境重新嚐試機會,姨丈苦口婆心勸導:外出嚐試體驗新環境亦是人生成長機會喔!晚上在工寮宿舍休息時,是格外寧靜與偶而傳來叫賣聲和野狗群狂吠聲,又燃起多年前離家冏境,爸媽現況如何?是續找尋或是無所謂的放棄?家人中五位除了我外,皆是名列前茅學業成績,所謂家人成績皆第一名榜單,而我是倒數第一名喔!俗稱滿江紅的成績單上,唯一綠色體育成績欄位喔!萬紅中一點綠斐然出色!家人們課業成績是滿分從重至尾,如無滿分亦是趨近98&99分數,當然與我就天地差遠懸殊程度,低分數有損家譽就換來棒下毒打代價。怎會有老師家庭訪問事宜課題?走後又是清算驗證對價時刻,明明哥姐妹們的老師來訪,爸媽就來對我頓棒聲震撼教育,一學期三次考試&家人有五位名列前茅後訪問家庭機會,我就有享用15次大餐棒聲教育。奇怪老師怎麼對我家獨厚待遇家訪?因為班導來家訪特別與有榮耀,可在班上或全校走路有風,因為強棒老師下有年級的第一名在班上,老師群更是刮目相看比起大拇指讚嘆不已!反觀我導師就眼臉無光,在校遮遮掩蓋低頭嘆氣連續!視我為眼中釘肉中刺似,就格外關注愛的眼神語調唸唸有詞。小學區域範圍很小庄頭事速傳村尾即得知,比火箭子彈快上N倍。幸好兄長是初中需考試分發,直接到都會區就讀,而我是上國中直接分發就讀,家人名列前茅事宜,竟在國中老師群傳響了,怎見我天差地遠成績斐然離譜,差點氣昏各科老師喔!