When we are young,we always think we have the luxury of a life time to spare, because the unexpected, like a lurking predator, has not yet pounced upon us.
Shen, much like his father, was a person with a delightful and witty sense of humor. Although his jokes sometimes carried a touch of Taiwanese sarcasm, he remained an approachable guy, not the prickly sort.
I got to know him when I attended my second high school in South Africa. There was a small group of Taiwanese students who would gather together after classes. The reason I joined them was simply because, having been in South Africa for just over a year, my English language skills were still limited, and I couldn't form deep connections with local schoolmates. The bond with Shen was not profound. We were in the same school during the last two years of high school, but despite being in the same grade, we were never in the same class for any subject. I once invited him and other schoolmates to my house, and as soon as Shen stepped into my living room, he saw a calligraphy piece I had written during my elementary school years hanging on the wall.
"Did you write this?" he asked.
"Yeah..." I replied, feeling a bit guilty because it had been a long time since I practiced calligraphy.
"After you die, leave this calligraphy piece to me!"
"What?" His absurd statement left me completely puzzled.
"Don't artists become famous after they die? So, after you die, leave this calligraphy piece to me."
I have to remember to put him in my will in the last phase of life? I was speechless. What left me even more speechless was that after many years, I thought we were both busy moving forward on different paths in life, only to suddenly hear the news of his passing in a car accident. I hadn't even considered putting the fate of that calligraphy piece in my will, and yet, he was gone.
Not having witnessed a person's birth, naturally, I have no right to pass judgment on how one departs from this world. All I can do is attempt to comprehend impermanence through the lens of Buddhist philosophy:
In the Mahaprajnaparamita Sastra, it is stated in Chapter 30: 'The sutras mention five inconceivable things: the number of sentient beings, the retribution of karma...'
In the realm of human existence, when and where we will encounter various experiences is beyond our ability to foresee; they lie outside the grasp of our imagination. Who can truly know who will depart this world before or after another?
I believe in reincarnation, in the continuity of the soul. Moreover, Shen and I didn't share a deeply profound connection. So, over the years, although I would often think of him whenever passing by his parents’ house, feeling sorrowful for his untimely departure, I also would like to believe that he has merely concluded one journey and embarked on the next.
I didn't want to feel sorrow, but tragedy persists. After a few more years, I heard the news of his sister's passing in a car accident as well. No matter how much I held onto my belief in fate, I couldn't prevent the profound sadness that arose within me.
At the funeral of Shen's sister, the mother who had to bury her two children one by one said to a friend in tears, 'They are both gone, all are gone.' Who can hold back their tears upon hearing these words?
How can one not cherish everything around them? How can one not live their life to the fullest?
Epilogue
While this piece was still pending in my draft folder, I finally encountered Shen's mother on the Chinatown street near my home after many years. There was no visible trace of the sorrow from losing two children on her face. Passing by her, I offered sincere blessings from my heart, hoping for her tranquility and well-being!
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