I have a lot of interests mainly because I am open to many things. This is not just a general idea, to be open to many things is very important. The willingness to discover the world that I am used to, or the way I used to do. Walk out of comfort zone, be not afraid of failure. Bear the critical time while struggling in the high cliff of learning curve stage. Create my own zone.
I like sports: baseball, basketball, running, swimming, biking, anatomy, kinesiology, outdoor activities, textile, literature, aboriginal culture, travel, photography...etc still adding.
The most serious topic I focus on these years, is the film photography that acquires analogue material(film and chemistry) to create the image of its own. By that darkroom lab is another requirement, or I shall say it is "a" way of (can be part of the method) create art. Anyway, I had thought I am totally "in" until I participated in an event held in Tainan, called Photo Go.
Basically, I know how to take pictures, I admire the power and zest that brought by images created from film, and I love making prints in darkroom. And then what? I had never asked myself this question.
It was in a winter time, when I attended the event, having a table listing many of works that I loved and created (photographed, and developed into the style I preferred) by myself. For many times, people passed by my table, and chatted a little bit about the pictures, and never neglect the question :"hey, what is your focus, or topic." The next day, I met Huang on my table when he reviewed my "listing" and asked if I have any question? I said so far no. He replied "yeh, it is due to you do not have one... you don't find them, them find you." Also I met some few other reviewers having the similar reaction like what is this?
By that, I had found myself out of circle of "knowing what I am doing."
I am pretty ashamed and regret being foolish by listing a bunch of photos and saying nothing with no questions. Question marks are crowded in my head.
Good friend of mine once said that time will come and I will know it when it is time. That is, I may have been doing something, but I don't know yet. I will know someday.
From then on, I still do film photography, still make prints from my own darkroom lab. I take it more seriously that I will not release shutter if I am not sure, and I will not make prints to just experiment something I already know that might turn out no closer to my perfection. I do study my doubts much more then before.
Just few days ago, the news about Entry of Photo Go 2023 popped out again from my FB page, I smiled. With bitter, with sweet, with little sour maybe from the uncertainty, I appreciate and thank the event, that leads me to reflect myself and assess the status of my creation.
Perhaps, I am advanced a little, I am in-between "I know I am not ready" and "I don't know, yet."
Self-reflection now may be adding to one of my new interests!
PhotoGo by 1image --
https://www.1imageart.com/photogo
