Chenhaosen: The Lion of the Sun 1

^{The interviw in Styletc （https://www.styletc.com/article/303181）translation:}

Superman, doesn’t rush to fly. Edwardh Chen: I wished to change the world, to be seen, and to be understood since childhood, and then it was enough for life.

Superman is a human being who would cry, laugh, and become vulnerable. It takes time to change the world. One’s self is very small, and small enough to look like a normal man who wishes to save the world.

Don’t rush to fly because you could be stronger and more fearless.

“Before I became a talent and decided on my career in my childhood, I had made up my mind: I wanted to change the world. Though I have become a talent, I still want to do this, worrying myself by thinking about this. Because I think I might have, well, . . . you may consider me to be stupid, I have the hero complex or something. However, I, after all, think I can do something, even a little thing for the world when I’m maybe just nobody. It is worthy when what I have done is seen and understood even if five years or ten years have passed or I have passed away.”

In any profession, anyone can be Superman. When Edward was a kid, he didn’t have any idea about the difference between “actor” and “singer.” They were TV people. They were invincible just like people swallowing “super stars.” Later, he became an actor as he knew about show business while not so many people knew who he was. He was more popular after he starred in the movie “Your Name Engraved Herein.” Then three years passed, and finally he turned to be a singer, which made his dream come true since he took violin lessons during his childhood.

“I interrogated myself once whether I wanted to be an actor more than a singer, or vice versa. It’s hard to decide which one weighs more. I cannot give a definite answer because I think being an actor makes me turn to someone else–I can leave myself for a while, and then music brings me back to myself again. I want to keep these two identities.”

In 2020, he signed a contract with a music agency. Now (2023) he finally releases his first album “Almost Human.” It has been too long for those who have been expecting to hear his songs. It was not a smooth course for the release of this album; long enough to make Edward anxious and feel sorry for his fans. He wanted to show how wonderful songs he had recorded, but when he told his friends and when he wanted to release his album, they would question, “Is it good timing? Economy is stagnant.” However, Edward says, “Nothing would stop me any more. I want to have my album released at any cost. I would take any blame and face any impact.” Waiting for so long, he is going to fly following the wind.

“‘Almost Human’ means getting close to humans. In fact, this album is like a baby who was incubated after the movie and three years later it came out. During the process, I know it took a long time. I have gone through many stages of my growth, and every stage to me was a completely new experience. I have no idea if I have grown to be a human being. Perhaps, after you finish listening to my songs, you can tell me the answer. What I want to say is we may encounter many difficulties, feel anxious and uncertain during the process of becoming a grown-up. Nonetheless, until now, I believe everything is part of a good outcome. I believe in fate, which will lead me forward.”

Edward points out this album is very close to humanity; it may not be perfect, but very close to Edward. Nowadays, very few people buy a published album. Somehow, people may go to the store to buy his albums because they like him and feel curious about what would be found in his album. So, Edward put a lot of “himself” in it, which made everyone who purchased the album find different parts of him. This is the purpose of Edward, who wants to sing songs to share warmth and meanings of his music. Though Edward is busy with his job as an actor, because he really wants to give all he has expected to his fans, he worked like Superman, trying all his best to let his fans know how hard he had tried and cared about his album.

“ I think the joy of being an actor is different from that of being a singer. If people call me the actor Edward, I would feel I am a valuable actor just like Tony Liang, a great actor, a born actor; I expect some day I would become an actor like Tony. Yet, the singer Edward, to me, is like a person who just changed his name. If people called me that way, I would feel uneasy somehow and would not turn my head at once. Once I am aware that the singer Edward is my name, I would be extremely excited, exclaiming in my mind, “how wonderful it is. I am so happy to be a singer; that day would be a perfect day because I have made it.”

“Excited?” I asked.

“Sure! Very much!” said the singer Edward.

“I am like a moth; devoting 100 percent of myself and hurting 100 percent of myself.”

In the past, Edward tended to think too much and pick himself up. As he became older, he realized that he had to let go and be happy. During these years, he became popular and busy, and at the same time he had to face compliments, criticisms, and trolls. Feeling stressed and exhausted, he might collapse even though he was tough enough. So, before getting to know how to save the world, he had to know how to get joy.

Edward said after he finished his movie shot in Hong Kong, he became different suddenly. “I want to live as simply and peacefully as possible.” Though he still works busily and tiredly and he still has to face endless rumors, he said, “I feel calm and harmonious in my mind. I gradually let go of what I cared about very much before. I think it’s ok if I don’t get the role I crave for very much once in my life. In the past I made many efforts to strive for many great roles and opportunities. I failed, and I felt frustrated. Now, I changed my mindset: if it is not mine, it means it’s useless even though I strive for it. It is different from giving up. If I have an opportunity I still try my best; but if I cannot get what I thought was a great opportunity, I will accept the consequences quietly and restfully. And if the case is suspended, I will take all changes and losses in case.”

For example, his first album is finally released. It’s been three years. Without feeling sorry, Edward shows his ecstasy, thinking that at last my dream comes true. He cannot wait to share how he feels. A happy person can get peace in mind. Sometimes, he would complain softly to his manager why he could play a role in some drama. His manager answered that someone might envy what he was doing and why not take it easy with what he was doing. Superman would behave childishly.

“In the past if I knew about a great project, I would tell my crew I wanted to join the project. I began to work on the role in it, having a picture of the character and the way of portraying it. But in the end, I failed for some reasons, such as financial problems, wrong schedules and so on. When I learned the result, I definitely fell into depression and then I would close myself at home quietly for several days, wanting to complain to my friends that I used to get a great opportunity, but it is gone now. But now I will tell myself I will wait until a better opportunity comes. By doing so, I look at this incident from a third-person perspective, and I can become calm.”

When the album was going to be released, Edward planned the audition concert and mini autograph concerts. Actually, before he was regarded as a singer, he used to sing the theme song of the movie “Your Name Engraved Herein” in some campuses in the campaigns of promoting the movie. Then he was popular–a similar experience to be like a real singer with lots of fans applauding, screaming, and shooting him with cell phones around the stage. He was fearless then, singing whatever he wanted to. He remembers he used to throw sweets and long stocks to the audience since Christmas day was around the corner. “I feel it’s fun.” He didn’t have any idea he was doing what a real singer was doing at that time.

And then in the ceremony of Golden Horse Awards, Edward sang the theme song on stage to the audience who were big names and somebody in the field of cinema industry. So far that was the biggest stage in his life. Now, he is suddenly aware, saying, “You remind me of that day. I didn’t feel awful singing on that stage. It was simple to me because I thought I was an actor and I was not a real singer. I would not be judged as a singer. I was the most courageous then.”

He tries to make himself happy, simple, and frank to deal with the world and his work. Superman will feel exhausted. Some stress can disappear by doing exercise and changing his perspectives. Some stress can be hidden, placed somewhere in his heart. He doesn’t regard it as a weakness, but it is a way of handling the world with peace. Fortunately, a singer has a privilege, which is he can hide these clues in his songs. Some people might find his thoughts through the clues.

There is a song named “Invisible Love” in the album. The lyricist invited Edward to have a cup of coffee before writing the song. Edward said, “Can we find something delicious instead of just a cup of coffee?” It ended up that they went to have a hot pot and become friends while in the beginning they knew little about each other. The original name of the song was “Invisible Character” because Edward wanted to sing the song in the disguise of a character. He thought it was a great idea.

“Later, I told him among many people I was invisible, watching people at a corner. I shared my idea with him. And then he wrote the lyrics of “Invisible Love,” which was the outcome after he observed me silently. The lyrics impressed me. Terrific!”

Edward becomes transparent in music. In the studio, he was inside alone with the lights off, listening to his own voice with the headset. I digested all the songs and brought it back to my inner world, seeing the original myself as an outsider. When I knew I was seen clearly, I became nude but joyful. Very often in the middle of recording, I started to weep, and sometimes I went to the top floor of the building, squatting at the corner crying alone, thinking I had not done a good job.

I asked him, “You cried because you didn’t do well, or you put too much stress on yourself? Or the softest spot in your mind was touched?”

“In fact, I am fragile, prone to being influenced. I have been educated as a person who is sensitive as I grew up. Handling many cases, I would think too much and my “antenna” would receive lots of messages. I want to take care of everyone I care for; but instead, I don’t know the priority: who should be taken care of. In fact, I am susceptible to getting hurt. I want to get along with anyone with 100 percent devotion. Just like a moth which flies toward the fire, I know where the danger is, but I still go there, getting hurt, and I cannot stop. You know, then, how upset and broken I would become, so I need a secret space and time to let go of all the negative emotions.”

Superman doesn’t rush to fly. After you settle yourself, you can have the prowess to move on. You don’t need to fight alone. Superman is around with lots of other supermen. Please have a look at the lyricists and songwriters of the album, and you will find many “supermen and women” there.