Two different attitudes of studying can results in two definitely opposite feelings and outcomes. It all depends on how you regard English. A subject? Or a language?
To be honest, I will say Taiwan's English education is not ideal. After 12 years of studying, even the students with full score on their university entrance exam, couldn't guarantee that they are capable of holding a basic talk to foreigners easily.
Among friends of mine, who have better grades in English exam, don't speak as natural as I do. Not meaning to show off myself, I am trying to point out the atmosphere and incorrect mindset of studying, causing by deviate cultural value. While score stands for every thing, we are losing the opportunities of studying something essentially, because tests and studying are two different things.
For tests, the answer can be generated through various ways, no matter it is being calculated, considered, guessed, we can only evaluate every student by results, not the process.
Studying, is the process. Time we spent, transfer into knowledge we learn. Specially, we don't learn the same thing, even we read the same book. Inspiration and growth is so specific to each person, because we are always using the present to respond our past, then form our imagination to the future.
Let me share the experience that I couldn't express what's in my mind, when I was chating with an Indian friend. I met this guy after entering university, and I guess he is the one who lit my motivation of studying English again. We were looking for what's for lunch outside of school. After ordered in a hotpot restaurant, I tried to find some topics about India, for example, the catse system at present, development of India, social issues happening, and so on. He told me what he knew, and try his best to explain it to me since I was not able to understand fast, and a little bit because of the acsent. However, when it comes to me to share my family, culture about Taiwan, the Buddism school I had studied for 5 years, I found it so difficult to put words I actually learned together to make him understand. That was a hard day for me, I mean the lunch time is actually delightful, but I feel shame of myself. Not only because I couldn't speak well, but because I was not able to share what I think is beautiful to him. Therefore, a thought came into my mind, I am going to enhance my English ability to the next level. I am serious!
Progression of practicing, the process was every thing but smooth at all. I felt really upset when I tried at the first few weeks. My brain was overwhelmed by comprehensing sentences came out from my friends mouth. Then I had no energy to think about what I was going to say, not to mention finding substitutional words to explain the phrases I didn't know how to say. I gave up. I thought maybe I was just not good at it. Perhaps I had encounter my limitation. That's all. Nonetheless, the conversation began to activated in English every night before I fell asleep. Nights over nights, hundreds of occasions had been rehearsaled. Gradually, I could speak without that much hestitation. Starting to make some silly jokes. Being more courageous to say something out loud even I was not very certain. The sense of achievement was slowly growing, especially after sharing viewpoints that I value, or speaking a long sequence of words. That feels awesome! That is why I study English for!
The journey of exploring myself has been going on since I was still an elementary school student. At present, the answer of my future career ended up that I am eventually more proficient in humanities rather than STEM. Hoping that the cultivation right now, can help me build up strength, and assists me find jobs that I'm interested which is also in my field, in the future.
