【A郎】EP. 09 猛猴聯合會！免驚，我是斯文人！！

A伯沿路行沿路講：「瘦猴生理做kài大，主要是做進出口，伊有船隊teh經營，算是港區chit-kho͘-ûi-á ê頭人。」Chiū án-ne， 3 ê人tòe伯--á oat過來koh se̍h過去，koh經過1條巷á， e̍h kah連對面有人行--來to無才調sio閃，ài 2人lóng貼壁，硬chiⁿ chiah chiⁿ ē過。Che路án-ne-seⁿ，有影ē記無路來。In行到1間kài大間ê樓á厝頭前ê時，a伯停--落-來，講：「瘦猴ê公司to̍h tī chia，lín chiah hâm伊研究看māi--leh，我先laih。」3 ê人kā伯--á seh多謝，A鳳知影伯--á有食hun，mā ùi phāiⁿ-á the̍h 1 pau hun絲送hō͘ a伯，講：「Che goán故鄉ê hun絲請你食，真ló͘-la̍t，感謝neh！」A伯mā無推辭，hun絲接--leh順手to̍h袋tī褲袋á，講：「Kah hiah客氣，多謝--lah！」無koh ke講siáⁿ，人oat--leh to̍h ùi原路行--轉-去，海口人to̍h是chiah a-sá-lih koh親切。

3 ê人khiā tī瘦猴公司頭前詳細看，公司秀面裝潢真súi真氣派，看--起-來to̍h是大好額人teh tòa ê所在，大門頂面卦1塊匾，漆烏烏刻5字金色ê大字「猛猴聯合會」。A鳳是頭家人，tāi-chì看khah chē，交帶in 2人講：「等--leh lín mài厚話，見機行事，看範勢講話。」3 ê人入去到公司，sûi看tio̍h 1 ê少年á，剃平頭，穿1 su料身看--起-來真優ê se-bí-lo͘h，烏皮鞋lù kah金siak-siak，bē輸ē-sái當做鏡來照，花á siá-chuh siōng頂頭2粒鈕á無鈕，領koh péng出來khap tī se-bí-lo͘h ê領頂面。少年á看tio̍h in 3人sûi過來招呼，請in去膨椅坐，嘴笑目笑講：「3位兄姊kám是beh來chia借錢？人2脚，錢4脚，jiok錢真艱苦che goán lóng了解。阮chia ê利息真公道，做你安，包你爽，保証算ē hô，做lín放心kā goán借。」A郎in 3人心內giâu疑，「Ĕ，kám有走m̄ tio̍h間？」你看--我，我看--你，m̄知beh án-chóaⁿ應。顛倒是少年á看3人tiû-tû無應話，koh接落去繼續講：「Kám講3位兄姊m̄是beh來借錢--ê，nā是án-ne，kám是有phàⁿ數ài goán tàu處理，goán phù-lo͘h--ê，做你安，包你滿意，價錢公道，goán做信用--ê，請盡量吩咐。」3 ê人jú聽jú緊張，感覺絕對是走m̄ tio̍h間--a。A鳳先出聲，講：「Goán是beh來chhōe瘦猴先生參詳tāi-chì，凡勢是goán走m̄ tio̍h間--a，真失禮，kā你kiáu擾！」少年--ê聽A鳳án-ne講，隨時業務á ê態度to̍h無--去，正經正經kā A鳳應講：「O͘h，是án-ne--o͘h，beh chhōe大--ê hiⁿh？請問是siáng紹介lín來--ê？」A郎應講：「是港邊tú--tio̍h ê 1位頭毛pe̍h-chhang-chhang ê a伯，伊chhōa goán過--來-ê。」「Ŏ͘-o͘h，是水泉伯--á介紹--ê o͘h，lín chia請坐，sió等--1-ē，我去kā大--ê講--1-ē。」少年--ê to̍h行tùi內底間去，無jōa久，人koh倒轉--lâi，講：「大--ê請lín入來奉茶，咱內面請！」3 ê人應1聲「多謝」to̍h tòe少年--ê入去內底間。

內底間是裝潢做辦公廳，壁頂卦1 pak字畫，9尺闊，5尺koân，字畫頂面「仁義」2字大字寫kah súi koh飄phiat，字畫邊--á 1對武士刀，長刀tī頂koân，短刀tī ē面，khǹg tī訂做ê架á面頂pâi kah súi-súi，koh有真chē phah野球ê手套khǹg tī櫃á頂排kah整齊整齊，bat-tah是真chē枝直直插tī 1 ê圓桶--ni̍h。Hi-nó͘-khih kap-choh ê辦公桌正面刻1隻猴kah 1隻虎teh sio tak，手路真幼。辦公桌頭前是1塊長tu形ê矮桌，短pêng正對辦公桌，長pêng 1 pêng排3 liâu交椅，kāng款lóng是hi-nó͘-khih kap-choh--ê，chiaⁿ實是kài氣派。Hit ê坐tī辦公桌後壁瘦瘦--á-ê，應該to̍h是瘦猴。

瘦猴看in 3人--入-來，起身to̍h講：「我是瘦猴，水泉伯--á介紹lín來--ê hōⁿ？咱chia請坐。」瘦猴行tùi交椅hia to̍h坐，mā請A郎in 3人坐tī對面。少年--ê kā人chhōa--入-來了後，人to̍h離開辦公廳。瘦猴ê穿插kah少年--ê差不多，cheng差tī se-bí-lo͘h是phú色，siá-chuh是葡萄酒紅，皮鞋是鱷魚皮，料身比少年--ê koh khah好。

4 ê人坐好勢了後，瘦猴講：「是有siáⁿ-mih tāi-chì beh hâm我參詳，做lín盡量講，做lín問，免煩惱，我是斯文人。」A明聽tio̍h盡量問，mā無ke想，sûi to̍h kā A鳳進前交帶--ê bē記chit了了，問講：「大--ê，是án-chóaⁿ你ê頭mo͘電kah chiah-nī khiû，chhiūⁿ佛祖án-ne？」應講：「我iáu-bē開公司進前，tī工地做工，án-ne khah涼khah bē tio̍h痧。」A明koh問：「是án-chóaⁿ室內to̍h無hiah kng，你koh ài掛烏仁目鏡？」應講：「Khah早tī工地做工，日頭siuⁿ iām chiâⁿ鑿目，掛久chŏaⁿ慣勢。」Chit時A郎kah A鳳已經teh使目尾叫A明mài koh問--ā，A明天天--a看無，繼續koh問講：「是án-chóaⁿ你ām-kún-á hit條金phoa̍h鍊hiah粗，kám bē siuⁿ重？」應講：「Khah早tī工地做工，án-ne金sih-sih khah影目，別人chiah看ē tio̍h，khah bē無張無持去hō͘同事傷--tio̍h。」Chit-chūn A郎kah A鳳已經緊張kah teh流凊汗，使目尾mā使kah目睭kiōng beh thoah窗--a，A明猶原七月半鴨á m̄知死，繼續koh問講：「是án-chóaⁿ你tò pêng目睭hia，有1 khî直直koh長長，ùi額頭li̍h到嘴角？Kám是sio-thâi去hō͘刀á liô--tio̍h-ê？」Chit時A郎kah A鳳已經kiōng beh háu--出-來，驚瘦猴ē pìⁿ面，按算講看範勢nā無tú好，to̍h隨時beh làng港，m̄-koh瘦猴kāng款真斯文應講：「Khah早tī工地做工，同事無細jī，鑿á ùi頂頭lak--落-來，去ho͘割--tio̍h-ê，ka-chài無傷tio̍h目睭，m̄-koh面to̍h piàn án-ne--a。」A明koh想beh問， A郎sûi chhun手去kā A明ê嘴ng--leh，m̄ hō͘伊koh講，mā tú好tī chit時少年--ê chông--入-來，真激動講：「大--ê，竹圍á hit pêng ê竹雞á koh去工地teh chhiàng聲，講beh hâm咱輸贏！」瘦猴起身行去門口少年á hia，講：「德--á，人客tī chia，mài tī hia大聲細聲，你kāng款chhōa gín-á去處理ho͘好勢，m̄-thang失面子，iáu koh有，ài叫我董--ê，mài koh叫大--ê。」德--á soah目kho͘紅紅，àng聲àng聲講：「我10外歲á ê時，tī街--ni̍h流浪，nā m̄是大--ê收留，凡勢早to̍h死--ah，大--ê to̍h 是大--ê，我m̄改--lah！」瘦猴koh應講：「Aih，講bē聽nē你，人客tī chia mài koh演chit齣，緊去kā tāi-chì辦ho͘好勢，m̄-thang失khùi haⁿh。」德--á應好，人koh chông--出-去。

A-peh iân-lō͘ kiâⁿ iân-lō͘ kóng: “Sán-kâu seng-lí chò kài tōa, chú-iàu sī chò chìn-chhut-kháu, i ū chûn-tūi teh keng-êng, sǹg-sī káng-khu chit-kho͘-ûi-á ê thâu-lâng.” Chiū án-ne, 3 ê lâng tòe peh--á oat kòe lâi koh se̍h kòe khì, koh keng-kòe 1 tiâu hāng-á e̍h kah liân tùi-bīn ū lâng kiâⁿ--lâi to̍h bô châi-tiāu sio-siám, ài 2 lâng lóng tah-piah ngē chiⁿ chiah chiⁿ ē kòe. Che lō͘ án-ne-seⁿ, ū-iáⁿ ē kì bô lō͘-lâi. In kiâⁿ-kàu 1 keng kài tōa-keng ê lâu-á-chhù thâu-chêng ê sî, a-peh thêng--lo̍h-lâi,  kóng: “Sán-kâu ê kong-si to̍h tī chia, lín chiah hâm i gián-kiù khòaⁿ-māi--leh, góa seng laih.” 3 ê lâng kā peh--á seh to-siā, A-hōng chai-iáⁿ peh--á ū chia̍h hun, mā ùi phāiⁿ-á the̍h 1 pau hun-si sàng hō͘ a-peh, kóng: “Che goán kò͘-hiong ê hun-si chhiáⁿ lí chia̍h, chin ló͘-la̍t, kám-siā neh!” A-peh mā bô the-sî, hun-si chiap--leh sūn-chhiú to̍h tē tī khò͘-tē-á, kóng: “Kah hiah kheh-khì, to-siā--lah!” Bô koh ke kóng siáⁿ, lâng oat--leh to̍h ùi goân-lō͘ kiâⁿ--tńg-khì, hái-kháu lâng to̍h sī chiah á-sá-lih koh chhin-chhiat.

3 ê lâng khiā tī Sán-kâu kong-si thâu-chêng siông-sè khòaⁿ, kong-si siù-bīn chong-hông chin súi chin khì-phài, khòaⁿ--khí-lâi to̍h sī tōa hó-gia̍h-lâng teh tòa ê só͘-chāi, tōa-mn̂g téng-bīn kòa 1 tè pián, chhat o͘-o͘ khek 5 jī kim-sek ê tōa jī “Béng-kâu Liân-ha̍p-hōe”. A-hōng sī thâu-ke-lâng, tāi-chì khòaⁿ khah chē, kau-tài in 2 lâng kóng: “Tán--leh lín mài kāu-ōe, kiàn-ki-hêng-sū, khòaⁿ pān-sè kóng-ōe.” 3 ê lâng ji̍p-khì kàu kong-si, sûi khòaⁿ tio̍h 1 ê siàu-liân-á, thì pêⁿ-thâu, chhēng 1 su liāu-sin khòaⁿ--khí-lâi chin iu ê  se-bí-lo͘h , o͘ phôe-ê lù kah kim-siak-siak, bē-su ē-sái tòng-chò kiàⁿ lâi chiò, hoe-á siá-chuh siōng téng-thâu 2 lia̍p liú-á bô liú, niá koh péng chhut-lâi khap tī se-bí-lo͘h ê niá téng-bīn. Siàu-liân-á khòaⁿ tio̍h in 3 lâng sûi kòe-lâi chio-ho͘, chhiáⁿ in khì phòng-í chē, chhùi-chhiò-ba̍k-chhiò kóng: “3 ūi hiaⁿ-chí kám sī beh lâi chia chioh-chîⁿ? Lâng 2 kha, chîⁿ 4 kha, jiok chîⁿ chin kan-khó͘ che goán lóng liáu-kái. Goán chia ê lī-sek chin kong-tō, chò lí an, pau lí sóng, pó-chèng sǹg ē hô, chò lín hòng-sim kā goán chioh.” A-lông in 3 lâng sim-lāi giâu-gî, “Ĕ, kám ū cháu m̄ tio̍h keng?” Lí khòaⁿ--góa, góa khòaⁿ--lí, m̄ chai beh án-chóaⁿ ìn. Tian-tó sī siàu-liân-á khòaⁿ 3 lâng tiû-tû bô ìn ōe, koh chiap lo̍h-khì kè-sio̍k kóng: “Kám kóng 3 ūi hiaⁿ-chí m̄ sī beh lâi chioh-chîⁿ--ê, nā-sī án-ne, kám sī ū phàⁿ-siàu ài goán tàu chhú-lí, goán phù-lo͘h--ê, chò lí an, pau lí móa-ì, kè-chîⁿ kong-tō, goán chò sìn-iōng--ê, chhiáⁿ chīn-liōng hoan-hù.” 3 ê lâng jú thiaⁿ jú kín-tiuⁿ, kám-kak choa̍t-tùi sī cháu m̄ tio̍h keng--a. A-hōng seng chhut-siaⁿ, kóng: “Goán sī beh lâi chhōe Sán-kâu sian-seⁿ chham-siông tāi-chì, hoān-sè sī goán cháu m̄ tio̍h keng--a, chin sit-lé, kā lí kiáu-jiáu!” Siàu-liân--ê thiaⁿ A-hōng án-ne kóng, sûi-sî gia̍p-bū-á ê thài-tō͘ to̍h bô--khì, chèng-keng chèng-keng kā A-hōng ìn kóng: “O͘h, sī án-ne--o͘h, beh chhōe tōa--ê hiⁿh? Chhiáⁿ-mn̄g sī siáng siāu-kài lín lâi--ê?” A-lông ìn kóng: “Sī káng-piⁿ tú--tio̍h ê 1 ūi thâu-mn̂g pe̍h-chhang-chhang ê a-peh, i chhōa goán kòe--lâi-ê.” “Ò͘, sī Chúi-chôaⁿ peh--á kài-siāu--ê o͘h, lín chia chhiáⁿ chē, sió-tán--1-ē, góa khì kā tōa--ê kóng--1-ē.” Siàu-liân--ê to̍h kiâⁿ tùi lāi-té keng khì, bô-jōa-kú, lâng koh tó-tńg--lâi, kóng: “Tōa--ê chhiáⁿ lín ji̍p-lâi hōng-tê, lán lāi-bīn chhiáⁿ!” 3 ê lâng ìn 1 siaⁿ “To-siā” to̍h tòe siàu-liân--ê ji̍p-khì lāi-té keng.

Lāi-té keng sī chong-hông chò pān-kong-thiaⁿ, piah-téng kòa 1 pak jī-ōe, 9 chhioh khoah, 5 chhioh koân, jī-ōe téng-bīn “Jîn Gī” 2 jī tōa jī siá kah súi koh phiau-phiat, jī-ōe piⁿ--á 1 tùi bú-sū-to, tn̂g-to tī téng-koân, té-to tī ē-bīn, khǹg tī tēng-chò ê kè-á bīn-téng pâi kah súi-súi, koh ū chin-chē phah iá-kiû ê chhiú-thò khǹg tī kūi-á téng pâi kah chéng-chê chéng-chê, bat-tah sī chin-chē ki ti̍t-ti̍t chhah tī 1 ê îⁿ-tháng--ni̍h. Hi-nó͘-khih kap-choh ê pān-kong-toh chiàⁿ-bīn khek 1 chiah kâu kah 1 chiah hó͘ teh sio tak, chhiú-lō͘ chin iù. Pān-kong-toh thâu-chêng sī 1 tè tn̂g-tu-hêng ê é toh, té pêng chiàⁿ tùi pān-kong-toh, tn̂g pêng 1 pêng pâi 3 liâu kau-í, kāng-khoán lóng sī hi-nó͘-khih kap-choh--ê, chiaⁿ-si̍t sī kài khì-phài. Hit ê chē tī pān-kong-toh āu-piah sán-sán--á-ê, èng-kai to̍h sī Sán-kâu.

Sán-kâu khòaⁿ in 3 lâng--ji̍p-lâi, khí-sin to̍h kóng: “Góa sī Sán-kâu, Chúi-chôaⁿ peh--á kài-siāu lín lâi--ê hōⁿ? Lán chia chhiáⁿ-chē.” Sán-kâu kiâⁿ tùi kau-í hia to̍h chē, mā chhiáⁿ A-lông in 3 lâng chē tī tùi-bīn. Siàu-liân--ê kā lâng chhōa--ji̍p-lâi liáu-āu, lâng to̍h lī-khui pān-kong-thiaⁿ. Sán-kâu ê chhēng-chhah kah siàu-liân--ê chha-put-to, cheng-chha tī se-bí-lo͘h sī phú-sek, siá-chuh sī phô-tô-chiú âng, phôe-ê sī kho̍k-hî phôe, liāu-sin pí siàu-liân--ê koh khah hó.

4 ê lâng chē hó-sè liáu-āu, Sán-kâu kóng: “Sī ū siáⁿ-mih tāi-chì beh hâm góa chham-siông, chò lín chīn-liōng kóng, chò lín mn̄g, bián hoân-ló, góa sī su-bûn lâng.” A-bêng thiaⁿ tio̍h chīn-liōng mn̄g, mā bô ke siūⁿ, sûi to̍h kā A-hōng chìn-chêng kau-tài--ê bē-kì-chit liáu-liáu, mn̄g kóng: “Tōa--ê, sī án-chóaⁿ lí ê thâu-mo͘ tiān kah chiah-nī khiû, chhiūⁿ pu̍t-chó͘ án-ne?” Ìn kóng: “Góa iáu-bē khui kong-si chìn-chêng, tī kang-tē chò-kang, án-ne khah liâng khah bē tio̍h soa.” A-bêng koh mn̄g: “Sī án-chóaⁿ sek-lāi to̍h bô hiah kng, lí koh ài kòa o͘-jîn-ba̍k-kiàⁿ?” Ìn kóng: “Khah-chá tī kang-tē chò-kang, ji̍t-thâu siuⁿ iām chiâⁿ chha̍k-ba̍k, kòa kú chŏaⁿ koàn-sì.” Chit sî A-lông kah A-hōng í-keng teh sái-ba̍k-bóe kiò A-bêng mài koh mn̄g--ā, A-bêng thian-thian--a khòaⁿ-bô, kè-sio̍k koh mn̄g kóng: “Sī án-chóaⁿ lí ām-kún-á hit tiâu kim-phoa̍h-liān hiah chho͘, kám bē siuⁿ tāng?” Ìn kóng: “Khah-chá tī kang-tē chò-kang, án-ne kim-sih-sih khah iáⁿ-ba̍k, pa̍t-lâng chiah khòaⁿ ē tio̍h, khah bē bô-tiuⁿ-bô-tî khì hō͘ tông-sū siong--tio̍h.” Chit-chūn A-lông kah A-hōng í-keng kín-tiuⁿ kah teh lâu chhìn-kōaⁿ, sái-ba̍k-bóe mā sái kah ba̍k-chiu kiōng beh thoah-thang--a, A-bêng iû-goân chhit goe̍h pòaⁿ ah-á m̄-chai sí, kè-sio̍k koh mn̄g kóng: “Sī án-chóaⁿ lí tò pêng ba̍k-chiu hia, ū 1 khî ti̍t-ti̍t koh tn̂g-tn̂g, ùi hia̍h-thâu li̍h kàu chhùi-kak? Kám sī sio-thâi khì hō͘ to-á liô--tio̍h-ê?” Chit sî A-lông kah A-hōng í-keng kiōng beh háu--chhut-lâi, kiaⁿ Sán-kâu ē pìⁿ-bīn, àn-sǹg kóng khòaⁿ pān-sè nā bô-tú-hó to̍h sûi-sî beh làng-káng, m̄-koh Sán-kâu kāng-khoán chin su-bûn ìn kóng: “Khah-chá tī kang-tē chò-kang, tông-sū bô-sè-jī, chha̍k-á ùi téng-thâu lak--lo̍h-lâi, khì ho͘ koah--tio̍h-ê, ka-chài bô siong tio̍h ba̍k-chiu, m̄-koh bīn to̍h piàn án-ne--a.” A-bêng koh siūⁿ beh mn̄g, A-lông sûi chhun-chhiú khì kā A-bêng ê chhùi ng--leh, m̄ hō͘ i koh kóng, mā tú hó tī chit sî siàu-liân--ê chông--ji̍p-lâi, chin ke̍k-tōng kóng: “Tōa--ê, tek-ûi-á hit pêng ê tek-ke-á koh khì kang-tē teh chhiàng siaⁿ, kóng beh hâm lán su-iâⁿ!” Sán-kâu khí-sin kiâⁿ khì mn̂g-kháu siàu-liân-á hia, kóng: “Tek--á, lâng-kheh tī chia, mài tī hia tōa-siaⁿ sè-siaⁿ, lí kāng-khoán chhōa gín-á khì chhú-lí ho͘ hó-sè, m̄-thang sit-bīn-chú, iáu koh ū, ài kiò góa táng--ê, mài koh kiò tōa--ê.” Tek--á soah ba̍k-kho͘ âng-âng, àng-siaⁿ àng-siaⁿ kóng: “Góa 10-gōa-hòe-á ê sî, tī ke--ni̍h liû-lōng, nā m̄ sī tōa--ê siu-liû, hoān-sè chá to̍h sí--ah, tōa--ê to̍h sī tōa--ê, góa m̄ kái--lah!” Sán-kâu koh ìn kóng: “Aih, kóng bē thiaⁿ nē lí, lâng-kheh tī chia mài koh ián chit chhut, kín khì kā tāi-chì pān ho͘ hó-sè, m̄-thang sit-khùi haⁿh.” Tek--á ìn hó, lâng koh chông--chhut-khì.