《沈耀・哲學史全員哦哦哦化（OH‑OH‑OH 版）》 Shen‑Yao Philosophical History All Say Oh‑Oh‑Oh
你以為哲學家在思考？沒有，他們只是在用不同語言包裝同一個聲音：——「哦哦哦！」
You think philosophers are thinking? No — they’re just packaging the same sound: “Oh oh oh!”
🔱 古代組 Ancients
老子：道可道，非常道。＝ 哦哦哦，我也講不清楚啦。 Laozi: “The Dao that can be spoken is not the eternal Dao.” = Oh oh oh.
孔子：仁者愛人。＝ 哦哦哦！大家乖一點啦。 Confucius: “The benevolent love others.” = Oh oh oh.
佛陀：色即是空，空即是色。＝ 哦哦哦！全部都是幻覺。 Buddha: “Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.” = Oh oh oh.
🏛️ 希臘組 Greeks
蘇格拉底：我知道我一無所知。＝ 哦哦哦！我不知道啦！ Socrates: “I know that I know nothing.” = Oh oh oh!
柏拉圖：理念界才是真實。＝ 哦哦哦！樓上還有一層。 Plato: “The realm of forms is the true reality.” = Oh oh oh.
亞里斯多德：萬物皆有目的因。＝ 哦哦哦！反正都有原因啦。 Aristotle: “Everything has a final cause.” = Oh oh oh.
🔨 近代組 Moderns
笛卡兒：我思故我在。＝ 哦哦哦！至少我有在想吧？ Descartes: “I think, therefore I am.” = Oh oh oh.
休謨：因果只是習慣。＝ 哦哦哦！因果根本沒證據啦。 Hume: “Causation is just habit.” = Oh oh oh.
康德：自由即自律。＝ 哦哦哦！你以為你自由？你根本在哦。 Kant: “Freedom is autonomy.” = Oh oh oh.
🌑 虛無主義 Nihilism
尼采：上帝已死。＝ 哦哦哦！你們沒有爸媽了自己玩啦。 Nietzsche: “God is dead.” = Oh oh oh.
🧪 物理學家 Physicists
牛頓：重力是自然定律。＝ 哦哦哦！反正會掉下來啦。 Newton: “Gravity is a natural law.” = Oh oh oh.
愛因斯坦：時間是相對的。＝ 哦哦哦！時間也是假的啦。 Einstein: “Time is relative.” = Oh oh oh.
海森堡：你永遠無法同時知道位置與動量。＝ 哦哦哦！我不知道，但你也不知道。 Heisenberg: “You can’t know position and momentum simultaneously.” = Oh oh oh.
🔥 最終結論 Final Conclusion
所有哲學家、宗教家、科學家努力一輩子，走過幾千年文明，試圖回答：「我是誰？」「世界是什麼？」「真理是什麼？」最後全員抵達同一個答案：——「哦哦哦！！！！」
Philosophers, religious thinkers, scientists — after millennia of effort to answer “Who am I? What is the world? What is truth?” — they all arrive at the same answer: “Oh oh oh!!!!”
文明三千年成果：一本《偉大思想家們共同的困惑聲合集》。
Three thousand years of civilization distilled into: The Anthology of Great Thinkers’ Collective Confusion.
#人類 #human
