An Autumn Afternoon

An autumn afternoon

You walked into my little garden

With an orange branch

I asked you

Do you know the mountain where peach flowers blossom?

You told me the orange branch was a gift from Faust

He was digging, he was still digging,

Power, knowledge, and ambition

Aroma of orange was in the air

I invited you for cappuccino

You caressed the orange branch with big affection

Can you hear

The breeze was spreading all over my rosy garden?

Can you see

The sunshine was woven into my blue skirt?

Can you smell

I used purple color to write you a poem?

Our talk tasted like a spring water

You asked for a turkey sandwich

I promised to bring you a branch of peach flower

If you know the mountain where the peach flowers blossom

Maybe you preferred an orange branch

I was aware

You did not know the mountain where the peach flowers blossom

Maybe we still could have a chocolate cake together

On an autumn afternoon

後記：世紀末，美國密西根州，凄凄慘慘。秋天總是撩人心思，尤其是陽光燦爛的秋日午后。陽光雖好，未必照得進心房。當時世界，渺渺茫茫，觸目所見，俱是悲傷。悲傷從何而來？有些清又有點說不清，要真能理得清，大概就不會悲傷之網無處逃。或許也不是悲傷，是憂鬱，輕微憂鬱症，食不知味，睡不安寢，沒來由地掉眼淚，沒來由地哭了起來。經常感到絕望，又固執地不肯放棄希望。想過死嗎？倒沒有，人，不能只為自己而活，還得為家人著想。若真客死千山萬水之外，以母親的個性，怕是要尋死覓活哭瞎雙眼。大約也是一息尚存，不容許自己學位沒到手，就塵歸塵、土歸土吧。

相遇不能相知，原非大不了之事，只是，時間點太狠了。我是過了河的卒子，正想著向前邁開步伐時，卻只見天地籠著一片霧茫茫。

張愛玲與胡蘭成相遇相知相惜又如何？成就的不是一段佳話，而是老死不相往來。悲涼了，民國世界的臨水照花人。

詩中說得是胸中塊壘，拿給英文系教授問高見，竟成了綺麗艷詩。那麼多年過去了，當時只以為對我一見如故的教授想入非非。如今重讀，猛然理解到那關鍵的幾個詞。不過，說他想入非非，亦不冤枉。

那一年，一首詩，幾段事，突兀又荒唐。