編輯嚴選又挖又推 「孤獨怪手」金句連發爆紅
編輯嚴選
2021/03/30閱讀時間約 7 分鐘
還在blue嗎? 不管在鬱卒什麼、哪裡卡住了，看看在蘇伊士運河挖不停的「孤獨怪手」幽默金句吧。感謝所有參與救援的人，也祝他加薪成功。
卡在蘇伊士運河近一週的長賜號，今晚(3.29)傳來成功上浮、繼而脫困的好消息，日夜在河岸開挖的小怪手，拯救全球經濟功不可沒。
小怪手駕駛開了一個名為「孤獨怪手」”Guy With The Digger At Suez Canal @SuezDiggerGuy“的Twitter帳號，除了及時向外界更新現場狀況外，幽默搞笑金句連發，在網路上爆紅。
小怪手駕駛開了一個名為「孤獨怪手」”Guy With The Digger At Suez Canal @SuezDiggerGuy“的Twitter帳號，除了及時向外界更新現場狀況外，幽默搞笑金句連發，在網路上爆紅。
還在blue嗎?
看看他的幽默金句吧。感謝所有參與救援的人，也祝他如願加薪成功。
看看他的幽默金句吧。感謝所有參與救援的人，也祝他如願加薪成功。
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*上週二老闆來電，說「有艘船下的泥巴需要清一清，就醬子。」現在我覺得有很嚴重的誠信問題。
I got first call from my boss last Tuesday. "Just need to move some mud from under a boat, that's it" - he said. And now I have severe trust issues.
I got first call from my boss last Tuesday. "Just need to move some mud from under a boat, that's it" - he said. And now I have severe trust issues.
*這船像是我的前女友。我已竭盡所能擺脫她，但她就是不肯走。
This ship is like my Ex. I'm doing all I can to get her off. But she just wouldn't go!
This ship is like my Ex. I'm doing all I can to get her off. But she just wouldn't go!
*嗨! 剛想到個好主意。讓這艘船來個生酮減肥如何? 不行嗎? 太過份？好吧。
Yo! A splendid idea crossed my mind. Can we put this ship on keto diet? No? Bit too much? Okay.
Yo! A splendid idea crossed my mind. Can we put this ship on keto diet? No? Bit too much? Okay.
*再過521個星期，長賜號上的船員們就可正式歸化為埃及公民了，耶！
521 more weeks and the crew of Ever Given will be officially naturalised as Egyptian citizens. Yay!
521 more weeks and the crew of Ever Given will be officially naturalised as Egyptian citizens. Yay!
*請不要再到處謠傳，說什麼吹牛老爹和葛蕾受邀在船脫困那天登船表演「我要回家了」好嗎?
Please stop spreading rumours that P. Diddy and Skylar Grey have been invited to perform "I'm Coming Home" on the ship when it is dislodged.
Please stop spreading rumours that P. Diddy and Skylar Grey have been invited to perform "I'm Coming Home" on the ship when it is dislodged.
*你知道小小的食物殘渣卡在牙縫時、不斷用舌頭剔牙的那種感覺嗎?我現在就是這種感覺。
Do you know that feeling when there's a teeny tiny food particle wedged in between teeth and you're continuously probing the area with your tongue trying to get it out? That's exactly what we are feeling right now.
Do you know that feeling when there's a teeny tiny food particle wedged in between teeth and you're continuously probing the area with your tongue trying to get it out? That's exactly what we are feeling right now.
*致被塞在運河的237艘船，嘜擱叭了。這艘船叭不動的。謝謝。
To all the 237 ships stranded in and around the canal, Please stop honking. Honking isn't gonna make the ship move. Thank you.
To all the 237 ships stranded in and around the canal, Please stop honking. Honking isn't gonna make the ship move. Thank you.
*這個怪咖如果再來蘇伊士運河，我需要至少一週的提前預告，好讓我先請假落跑。
If this monstrosity ever comes to Suez Canal, I'm gonna need atleast a week's notice so that I can apply for leave of absence and disappear.
If this monstrosity ever comes to Suez Canal, I'm gonna need atleast a week's notice so that I can apply for leave of absence and disappear.
*連續18小時不停的挖，到底是為了啥？要來打個盹兒了。晚安。明天繼續開工。只是明天我起床時，全球經濟應該又損失了40億美元，真是桑心。人總得睡覺。Digged non-stop for 18 hours and for what!? Off to take a quick nap in the digger. Good night yal. We'll start again tomorrow. Saddest thing is, by the time I wake up, global economy must have lost another $4 bn. Man's gotta sleep.
*最近一年來，這是我第一次沒有整天想著新冠…但病毒還在、就像這艘船。
For the first time in last one year, I spent an entire day without thinking or talking about Covid-19. But it's still there, just like this ship.
For the first time in last one year, I spent an entire day without thinking or talking about Covid-19. But it's still there, just like this ship.
*等一切結束後，要向老闆要求加薪70%。現在我都還不確定老婆是否在家等我。Will be asking for 70% raise in my salary when this is all done. Right now I'm not even sure if my wife is waiting for me at home.
*工作績效考核快到了，這下我可有得說了。
I got a lot of things to say in my upcoming performance review meeting.
I got a lot of things to say in my upcoming performance review meeting.
*收工休息前，打個電話給老闆報告進度。我試著提醒他加薪，結果不知為何，老闆聽不清楚我說什麼、然後電話斷線。我明天再打。
Just now gave a final status update to my boss before I take a short break. I tried reminding him of salary raise at the end but due to some reason he couldn't hear what I was saying and the call disconnected. Will try again tomorrow.
Just now gave a final status update to my boss before I take a short break. I tried reminding him of salary raise at the end but due to some reason he couldn't hear what I was saying and the call disconnected. Will try again tomorrow.
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以上摘自”Guy With The Digger At Suez Canal @SuezDiggerGuy“
https://twitter.com/SuezDiggerGuy
https://twitter.com/SuezDiggerGuy
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