No life threntening danger?

4 Jan, 2023
Although it was expected that I wouldn't be able to get help from the embassies of other countries, I tried yesterday, there is something I consider better recorded. And to be honest, there seems to be no way out; The best thing I can do now is probably to warn you of crazy our world is, if you do not know it already.

Part of my experience could be found on various places, but the easiest way should be accessing them on [GitHub](https://github.com/locharp/asylum_dairy).

There are more to be added, but let's get to what happened yesterday first.

If you have read my previous writings, you might have noticed I care Taiwan in a somewhat more special way. To be honest, that's kind of strange if you ask me, but I guess I am not the only hongkonger who has this special feeling, after our home became our home no more.

Oh, I was about to say that I hope to get the attention of the Taiwanese. But after second thought, I think it is better to say that: you do not necessarily learn about my story, but you have be aware of this kind of things are happening, and if it will become increasingly common in the future. In the near future.

Anyway what I am about to write has more to do with Taiwan than to other countries. I went to several embassies including the Representative Office of Taiwan in Lithuania yesterday.

When I arrvived there, I was told by the receptionist to visit again after lunch time. A group of people who appeared to be a family came out when the door of the elevator opened, the man stopped and talked to me. He asked where I was from and other questions such as how I ended up in Lithuania. I asked if he was a staff there, he ignored and kept asking his questions at first, refused to confirm later and said that he didn't want to talk to me any more if I doubt him. He then entered the office with a card. Normally his identity as a staff should be considered confirmed at that point, but I was not that sure because I had experience in Hong Kong where some people appeared in supposed private places and acted as if they belonged to the place gave me a strong feeling that they were impersonating. So, stupid it might seem, I asked the receptionist if that man was a staff as the man disappeared into a room of the office. The receptionist was called into the room before she could answer me, and when she came back she asked if I talked to her collegue. I said yes, but he seemed to be unhappy when I asked if he was a staff, and I left.

I stayed in the lobby, moments later the man came down and asked if I wanted to talk. Strange question, I was not the one refused to talk, anyway, I said yes. He asked why I trusted him at that point, I said he had a card to enter the office.

We went back into the office and he began to ask me about my information again, started from having me wrote my full names on a paper, not statisfied with just my Chinese name (he spoke what we call Putonghua at first, and started using English when he found me on ground floor.), he asked me to write also my English name. I also started asking for his identity again, he still refused at that point. Till the end, he said only that his name is Tom Hong, and job title is director, refusing to give his full name, after asked much more information about me. Including when I asked about his identity, he often stopped me from asking question and sometime even stopped me from answering his question properly with the reason that I should not argue with him because letting me in and talking to me was already a special treatment. Although I still am not sure about his identity, I have to say that he was taking advantage of me desparate for help even if he is a real staff. Along with this there were something else that raised my doubt.
1. He asked quite some of my contact information, I don't see what that was for.
2. He suggested me to go to Poland, after we talked about my documents are taken by the local government. I don't know how he came up with such an suggestion. He also said that there is no border control. I said they have border guards, so there actually should be border control. This is one of the occasions where he stressed that I should not argue with him. He asked if I was checked when I came to Lithuania. I said I wasn't checked doesn't mean there is no border control nor means it is legal. When I said I don't know how he came up with such a suggestion, I mean I don't think that should be suggested especially from a government official (of a foreign country). Suggestion of going to another country illegally actually happened a lot of times and I have mentioned in one of [my asylum dairy](https://github.com/locharp/asylum_dairy/blob/main/en/asylum_dairy_18.txt).
3. I saw he jotted down some of my answers in a strange way. For example, I mentioned I am under surviellance and almost everything of my current life is being controlled. I might have said I don't know who is controlling, which is because I cannot prove it. But I also said that I think that the Chinese Communist Party is behind it (or is involved). He regardlessly wrote something like "everything is controlled by unknown". I mentioned that it is not being killed or being assassinated that I am worrying about and he wrote "無生命危險" ("no life threatening danger"). I corrected him that it is not 100%, but apparently he was not interested.
4. He said I agreed with what he wrote at some point. I didn't respond, that surely was not the case.
5. He claimed that he asked about my information because I had to prove that I really was what I claimed to be, but he was not interested, or literally didn't want me to talk about the troubles I had in Hong Kong.
6. He tried to accuse me of asking to go to Taiwan and stay there forever without working, after I said exactly that it is impossible. He said that he was the one who said it is impossible. I reminded him I was the one who brought up work permit and I clearly stated although I would need a job and educational resources, I am not here to take resources from Lithuania when I applied for asylum. Again he didn't let me finish and stressed that I shouldn't argue with him. Crazy stuff. I heard similar accusation recently in the centre I am living in, which as usual was not not directly spoken to me. The topic actually worths discussed, but the action itself is an arbitary accusation, to be more percise, a misdirection. It is to redirect the focus from the violations they have done to me and the reason behind.
The last thing although in a way is supporting authoritarianism, it is relatively reasonable. He tried to dodge my question that if he thinks surveillance is OK. He asked for evidence when I repeated. I said it is precisely an abuse of power exploiting the difficulty for the powerless to acquire evidences. And at the end he said that we should talk again when I have evidence.

My question about surveillance was probably raised by his suggestion of I am living OK here. It was definitely not something he should suggest assertively. I said I don't just want to survive as in breathing, living like some kind of creature. The same people who surveil, harass, demean and deprive some rights I should have have been suggesting the same thing. It feels like they are constantly trying to make me agree that having food is good enough. Eg, in the same entry I provided link above, I mentioned they had repeated "everyday he eays a lot of food, and he says he is not good" for over a hundred of times in the first 5 months. This man made the same suggestion, what he wrote on the paper also sounded that way.

His asking of evidences reinforced the necessity of keeping good records. The next day (I am now editing on 7 Jan, 2023) I was told to go to the doctor. A doctor asked me to sign a paper. I asked her to write the treatments I would receive first. She said they are not wasting time and I owuld sign or I could go and took the paper in a very rude manner. Not surprising, I have written about how people see those under surveillance (or more generally, those whose rights are violated) as lower classes or lower beings in [this article](https://github.com/locharp/doomsay/blob/main/en/Surveillance_and_Cultral_Revolution_n.txt).

I am thinking about writing about how these could be linked back to my experenice in Hong Kong. I am convinced they are parts of the beginning of my troubles, the troubles that are continuing here in Lithuania. The other parts are politcial, I am pro-democracy. And they are joined by the common interest of the pro-estabishment parties, or what I would call authoritariansm. Normally I prefer privacy, and some of my advocations and attempts might get critized, but perhaps I should write about them after all, this is not a normal time.

By the time this entry was being finished, I heard something like "write anti-society record". I think it's very reasonable to think that it was highly likely they were talking about me. The funny part is that, like the CCP demands love from the people they exploit, these people who feel superior and enjoyed upsetting me with the abuses of power such as surveillance and privacy violation claim that I am anti-society. I wonder if they would think if they are anti-humanity.

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7 Jan, 2023
I was told that there is WiFi in the building today, hours after posting the last entry. Like bed and food, it should be something to be thankful for. I hope that it doesn't come in a twisted way.

I have started to hate myself for having a peaceful nature and remaining open for hope that there could be misunderstanding. Similar to those who always think that the saint emperor just isn't aware of what truly is happening yet.

I have come to understand why some people hate people with this kind of nature. Because it is a nature that contributes to the success of authoritarianism.