我真的很喜歡 Taylor Swift《Anti-Hero》這一首歌，在剛發行時就在手機音樂商店購入，不停重覆播放，當時我正處於一段關係走向破裂的階段，整個人十分負面。
那時候我有一個習慣，就是邊聽歌邊散步，一走就會至少一小時，邊走邊聽歌以排解情緒。
在那時段最有共鳴的歌詞，是那句 "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me"，真的很正中我心。因為那句話說中了我最不想承認的事。我常常逃避，只要努力不去想，視而不見奢望事情可以自己好起來。可是逃避，不會讓問題消失，只是讓它們慢慢變成更大的陰影，潛伏著、滲透著，直到有一天，一切崩塌。
因此，我才發現原來真正的問題，一直是我沒勇氣去面對的那個「我」。
是我不說清楚、是我裝沒事、是我害怕衝突、是我假裝自己沒關係。
然後我就看著那些關係一點一滴流失，看著事情往壞的方向走。
不處理、不面對的我，才是問題。
現在的我，有時也會逃避，但我也知道，逃避一時沒關係，但一定要再次面對。
認識自己，正視自己，也算是某種前進吧。
Taylor Swift《Anti-Hero》每次聽這首歌時，我都會再次提醒自己。
當然，《Anti-Hero》除了帶給我的意義以外，也是一首非常好聽的歌。
不曉得你們的低潮歌曲是什麼呢？歡迎與我分享你的歌單。
Taylor Swift《Anti-Hero》
I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift
All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room
I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
'Cause you got tired of my scheming
(For the last time)
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city
Pierced through the heart, but never killed
Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism
Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day I'll watch as you're leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money
She thinks I left them in the will
The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out
"She's laughing up at us from hell"
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees
It's me, hi (hi), I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)
At tea (tea) time (time), everybody agrees (everybody agrees)
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
