Stockholm, Sweden
「妳真是我看過最會善用公司出差機會的人。」同事聽到我去Valencia出差完還要順便去瑞典玩個幾天時這麼說。
我聽了只是笑笑，但心裡想著：「因為我又不用急著回家帶小孩😄」
結果一到Stockholm，gay密突然丟來一個震撼彈，說他那一向對小孩無感的老公，在和一對育兒朋友共度週末後，回家居然突然說他 “open to having kids” 了。
“你們可以等一等嗎？”我立刻回他。“如果連你都要生小孩，那以後還有誰可以一起玩？”
生小孩是人生最大的分水嶺。朋友們一旦踏進育兒世界，就好像自動在下一個交流道下車：行程要配小孩、決策要配小孩、生活的優先順序也以小孩為核心。再也不能像以往一樣隨性地說走就走，人生的priority也再也不同了。
“那要等到什麼時候？”他笑道。
“等到…我也想生的時候？至少我們的時程align一下吧，可以叫你老公先hold his pants嗎？”我說。
我也不知道自己什麼時候、甚至會不會想生小孩，只是那肯定還不在可預見的未來。
我只是覺得有點感慨：如果連那些少數仍在同個人生階段的朋友都開始準備轉彎下車，那麼這段同行的時光將更顯珍貴；希望在我還沒準備好轉彎以前，這些珍貴的友誼，還能再陪我一起、多走上一段。
Stockholm, Sweden
Life doesn’t just branch - our chances of walking it together do, too.
“You’re honestly the best at making the most out of business trips,” a coworker said when he heard that after my Valencia work trip, I was heading to Stockholm for a long weekend trip.
I just laughed, but in my head I was thinking: "Well, it’s not like I have to rush home to take care of kids 😄."
And then the moment I arrived in Stockholm, my gay bestie suddenly dropped a bomb: his husband, who has always been completely indifferent to kids, came home from a weekend with friends who have children and announced that he was suddenly "open to having kids."
“Can you guys wait a bit?” I immediately replied. “If even you two are having kids, then who will I have left to hang out with?”
Having kids is one of life’s biggest dividing lines. Once friends step into the world of parenting, it’s like they automatically exit onto the next off-ramp: schedules revolve around the kid, decisions revolve around the kid, and priorities rearrange themselves with the kid at the center. No more spontaneous trips, no more carefree planning - everything shifts.
“So… wait until when?” he laughed.
“Until… the day I want kids? At least let’s get our timelines aligned. Maybe ask your husband to hold his pants for now?” I said.
I don’t know when - or even whether - I’ll want kids. It’s definitely not in the foreseeable future as far as I can see.
I just felt a little sentimental: if even the few friends who are still in the same life stage as me start preparing for their exit, then the time we get to walk together becomes even more precious. I just hope that before I’m ready to take that turn, these precious friendships can stay with me for a little longer, even just a little longer, to walk side by side with for a bit further.
Stockholm, Sweden
