Lisel Mueller : Monet Refuses the Operation

莫內畫作

Monet Refuses the Operation / Lisel Mueller
莫內婉拒眼科手術的告白

Doctor, you say that there are no haloes
around the streetlights in Paris

醫師，您說巴黎的街燈
周圍沒有光環，

and what I see is an aberration
caused by old age, an affliction.

您說我見到的，
是年老眼疾所產生的現象。

I tell you it has taken me all my life
to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels,

我對您說，我花了一輩子的光陰，
才得到這樣的靈視－將街燈看成天使。

to soften and blur and finally banish
the edges you regret I don't see,

您為我感到遺憾，只因我柔化、模糊了輪廓，
放逐了物體之間的界線；

to learn that the line I called the horizon
does not exist and sky and water,
so long apart, are the same state of being.

但我終於明白，我稱為地平線的那條線
並不存在，相隔甚遠的天空和海面
有著相同的存在本質。

Fifty-four years before I could see
Rouen cathedral is built
of parallel shafts of sun,

五十四年的光陰才讓我看清
盧昂大教堂由平行光束建造而成。

and now you want to restore
my youthful errors: fixed
notions of top and bottom,

而如今，您想要恢復我
年輕時的誤謬：
既定不變的頂部和底層的概念，

the illusion of three-dimensional space,
wisteria separate
from the bridge it covers.

把三度空間的幻覺當真，
以為紫藤
和被它遮住的橋面是分離的。

What can I say to convince you
the Houses of Parliament dissolve
night after night to become
the fluid dream of the Thames?

我該如何讓您信服，夜復一夜，
國會大廈消逝於泰晤士河
流動的睡夢中？

I will not return to a universe
of objects that don't know each other,

我不願回到一個
萬物不識彼此的宇宙。

as if islands were not the lost children
of one great continent. The world

在那兒，彷彿無人知曉
島嶼本是洲陸走失的摯兒。

is flux, and light becomes what it touches,
becomes water, lilies on water,
above and below water,

世界是不斷變動的影像，光幻化成
自己所觸之物，幻化成水和水上荷花。
荷花，於水之上，於水之下，

becomes lilac and mauve and yellow
and white and cerulean lamps,

幻化成雪青、淡紫、鵝黃、
雪白、蔚藍的彩燈，

small fists passing sunlight
so quickly to one another

捕捉陽光的微渺手掌，
瞬間生滅，消融於彼此。

that it would take long, streaming hair
inside my brush to catch it.

我的畫筆非得有綿延不絕的筆刷不可，
才能捕捉這幻變的一切。

To paint the speed of light!
想想看，描繪光速！

Our weighted shapes, these verticals,
burn to mix with air

我們沉重的身軀，垂直的形影，
以燃燒的姿態融入大氣，

and changes our bones, skin, clothes
to gases. Doctor,

讓骨架、皮膚、衣著
汽化蒸發。

if only you could see
how heaven pulls earth into its arms

醫師啊，只願您能看見，
芎蒼如何將大地緊擁入懷，

and how infinitely the heart expands
to claim this world, blue vapor without end.

心如何無盡展延，
宣稱這世界是無窮的裊裊藍煙。

(Benedictus 譯）

PS. Lisel Mueller (1924-2020) : 德裔美籍女詩人。

畫家莫內晚年受白內障之苦，曾接受兩次手術。
詩中想像莫內和眼科醫師的對話。

聆聽心靈老師 Rupert Spira 朗讀詩作：