幫別人出櫃很沒品

1.      

「你怎麼能確定?」

「你又沒有和男生交往過，你怎麼知道你不是同性戀?」

同樣的質疑，可以用在所有關於性向的問題上。比方，你說你是同性戀，別人可以問，你怎麼知道? 你有和異性交往過嗎?

也許你可以說，你有，所以你很確定你是同性戀。你以為這樣他們就會算了嗎?

不會!! 他們會說，那是那一個人不適合，不表示所有異性都不適合。哪天你碰到適合的異性、你就知道、人生就是要和異性交往才圓滿。

你說你是雙性戀的話，他們也會有別的問題。你可以試試看 不過我建議你不要說你自已，你說可以說, 我聽說路人甲是雙性戀, 看他們怎麼反應。

總之，如果有人問你於你性向的問題，你有絕對的權利不要回答，因為，這真的完全不干他們的事。此外，不論你的答案是什麼，都不是好的答案、只會延伸出更多更複雜沒必要回答的問題。

除了跟你交往的對象以外，你不需跟任何人交待你的性向。不管你性向如何--同性戀、異性戀、雙性戀、無性戀--大家都應該要尊重你、你都有投票權、十八歲以上都能飲酒…等。你的性向跟你的朋友、同事、同學們都無關。

此外，只要你一回答，你的答案，會影響到你接下來的人生。也許，你十六歲的時候，覺得那個男的好帥、18歲的時候，覺得那個女的好美---那你就得交待為什麼你16歲的時候說你喜歡男生，而今天卻喜歡女生。

你喜歡誰，是你和那個人的事，你不需要跟任何人交待。

2．

十一月的時候，當紅音樂人Billie Eilish在接受訪問時，曾談及自已受女性吸引。當時她說:

“I love [girls] so much. I love them as people. I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real….I have deep connections with women in my life, the friends in my life, the family in my life. I’m physically attracted to them. But I’m also so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence.”[1]

她當時表示，她成長的過程裡，會預設女生不喜歡她，所以她青少年時，沒有辦法好好的和女生相處 (she couldn’t “relate to girls very well” as a teen)[2]，

以上為故事背景，下面是今天要討論的故事。

3．

十二月初的時候, Eilish去領獎。在接受訪問時，一位自已已經出櫃的記者問Eilish, 她現在還會覺得女生不喜歡她嗎? (才過一個月而已? Eilish現在也才21歲?) Eilish回答說，「我還是會怕女生，可是我覺得女生很漂亮。」 (I’m still scared of them, but I think they’re pretty.”)

出櫃記者接著問:「你是要出櫃的意思嗎?) ("Billie, did you mean to come out in this story?")

Eilish 說，雖然她自已的身份認同是同志(LGBTQ)，但她很對那些標籤很反感。

她接著說，(下面我快速亂翻) 我沒有要出櫃。我自已一直覺得，不是一直都很明顯嗎? 我不知道大家其實不知道。我不喜歡標籤。我們不能就好好活著嗎? 我一直都這樣，但我不想聊這件事。(“No, I didn’t [mean to come out]. But I kind of thought, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?’” she said. “I didn’t realize people didn’t know. I just don’t really believe in [the concept of labels]. I’m like, ‘Why can’t we just exist?’ I’ve been doing this for a long time and I just didn’t talk about it. Whoops.”)

接下來，陸續有人出來說明，為什麼她的出櫃事件很重要，簡單的說，就是因為社會上還有很多人想迫害同性戀。如果有影響力的名人願意出櫃、站出來的話，對所有同志來說，都很很重要、很有意義的事。這讓年輕的同志們看到，當同志還是可以有光明的前途、幸福的人生的。

這個事件裡，Eilish沒有出櫃。她是「被出櫃。」

沒錯，她的出櫃，對很多同志，是個正相的消息，也讓一般人看到，同志也是很有才華、很好的。

但是，她真的沒有義務為了給誰的人生希望、願景，而討論自已的私生活。

沒有任何人，應該為了幫助任何團體或個人，而逼別人出櫃。

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/billie-eilish-came-heres-why-192443770.html?guccounter=1

Billie Eilish came out. Here's why it still matters.

David Artavia      Tue, December 5, 2023 at 2:24 PM EST·6 min read

Billie Eilish recently came out as LGBTQ, and now she has the whole world praising her for it.

After opening up about being “attracted” to girls in a recent interview, singer Billie Eilish is navigating a new chapter, both personally and publicly.

“I love [girls] so much. I love them as people. I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real,” the singer, 21, said in the November cover story for Variety’s “Power of Women” issue. “I have deep connections with women in my life, the friends in my life, the family in my life. I’m physically attracted to them. But I’m also so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence.”

That wasn’t always the case. Growing up, she always assumed that girls didn’t like her, which is partly why she said she couldn’t “relate to girls very well” as a teen.

On Dec. 2, the singer addressed her comments while attending Variety’s “Hitmakers” brunch, where she and her brother and collaborator Finneas accepted the Film Song of the Year Award for the Barbie ballad, “What Was I Made For?”

On the red carpet, journalist Tiana DeNicola, who identifies as LGBTQ, asked Eilish if she’s since changed her mind about the assumption that women don't like her: “I’m still scared of them, but I think they’re pretty,” the singer said.

DeNicole followed up, asking, "Billie, did you mean to come out in this story?"

Eilish said that while she identifies as LGBTQ, she resents the idea of needing to label herself at all.

“No, I didn’t [mean to come out]. But I kind of thought, ‘Wasn’t it obvious?’” she said. “I didn’t realize people didn’t know. I just don’t really believe in [the concept of labels]. I’m like, ‘Why can’t we just exist?’ I’ve been doing this for a long time and I just didn’t talk about it. Whoops.”

After seeing the article, Eilish told DeNicole, “I was like, ‘Oh, I guess I came out today!’” Adding, “It's exciting to me because people didn’t know so it’s cool that they know. ... I’m nervous talking about it. But no, I am for the girls.”

Eilish coming out still matters

According to a November 2023 report from UCLA’s Williams Institute, one in six young adults ages 18-24 identify as either lesbian, bisexual, queer or trans. For the majority of that population, says Dr. Eric Yarbrough, a New York City-based psychiatrist focusing on queer youth, seeing out and proud celebrities offers hope that “they too can live a happy and productive life,” free of discrimination.

“Politics has shown us that we are still living in a world of uncertainty around LGBTQ rights, and visibility and representation can have a powerful positive impact on public opinion,” he told Yahoo Entertainment.

“Billie Eilish commented that sexuality shouldn’t matter,” he added. “And while I hope we live in a world like that someday, we aren’t there yet.”

“It will always matter for celebrities to come out because they have huge followings who look up to them and are influenced by them,” Village Voice contributor Michael Musto told Yahoo, explaining that “out celebs” help to “normalize [queer people’s] sexuality as nothing to hide or be ashamed of.”

That’s supported by data from the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention organization. According to its 2022 survey, 79% of queer youth reported “feeling good” when musicians come out as LGBTQ. In a separate 2023 survey by the organization, LGBTQ youth ages 13-24 were asked what the world would look like if all queer people were accepted. Their top responses included: People “can be who they want to be.”

To that end, Yarbrough says, “out and proud” role models with large platforms like Eilish give young people the confidence to not only advocate for themselves, but also for each other.

Being outed

When the Variety event was over, Eilish took to social media and acknowledged the outlet for outing her, despite having made the declaration in print.

“Thanks Variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 am instead of talking about anything else that matters,” she wrote. “I like boys and girls. Leave me alone about it, please. Literally who cares.”

“Outing” refers to the “act of publicly revealing (sometimes based on rumor and/or speculation) another person’s sexual orientation or gender identity without that person’s consent,” according to GLAAD, the premier LGBTQ media advocacy organization. Historically, outing has been used to weaponize and exploit the LGBTQ community.

It’s different from coming out, which describes a “lifelong process of self-acceptance” about one’s sexual orientation. It’s a personal decision one makes to disclose their identity with loved ones, close friends, work colleagues or even to themselves — on their own terms.

Eilish's post has been liked by more than 4.5 million people as of Tuesday afternoon, and while the overwhelming majority express support and encouragement for the singer, some fans commented on the difference between coming out and being outed.

“Billie please change your language relating to this,” a fan wrote. “Please do not make ‘outing’ some sort of buzzword for your discomfort when there are teens misplaced every single day for being outed.”

“It's not really fair to say ‘outed on a red carpet,’” another wrote. “You had a conversation with a gay interviewer about the cover story where you came out. She was doing her job. Representation is still important.”

Musto, who was well-known in the 1990s for pressuring celebrities (including Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres) to come out, illuminates the conversation even further.

“Outing is a harsh term that simply represents equal gossip reporting,” he explained, pointing to the number of journalists — like Perez Hilton and Michelangelo Signorile, widely considered a pioneer of outing public figures — who notoriously pressured celebs to come out in the ’90s and ’00s.

As Musto explains, outing celebs was never meant to ruin careers or lives, but rather to give LGBTQ people the visibility they needed at the time.

“The media always reported on [straight] celebrities’ private lives, often in ways the celebs didn’t want or appreciate, but they drew the line at queer reporting, partly out of their own squeamishness on the subject,” he said. “The result was queer media, myself included, simply saying ‘This celebrity is gay! They should come out!’”

As cultural acceptance for LGBTQ people increased, the need to out celebrities became unnecessary. "And that’s what ‘outers’ were always fighting for,” Musto said.

There are exceptions, however. Rebel Wilson went public in 2022 after a journalist threatened to out her, for example. Heartstopper star Kit Connor also claimed to come out as bisexual after “feeling forced” to do so by fans.

Regardless of how it happened, the significance of Eilish coming out cannot be overstated, said Musto, noting that it’s important for people to have perspective — and compassion — for everyone’s journey.

“[Eilish] probably wants to control the narrative and will keep evolving toward the exact way she wants to define and label herself,” he said. And we should be OK with that.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/granderson-cares-billie-eilishs-sexual-203752451.html?guccounter=1

Opinion

Granderson: Who cares about Billie Eilish's sexual orientation?

LZ Granderson

Wed, December 6, 2023 at 3:37 PM EST·4 min read

This last week, two conflicting messages have emerged from the world of pop culture, and I am unsure which represents progress.

In one corner we have “Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé” — a cinematic showcase and celebration of the queer influence in her latest tour and music. This last weekend it opened No. 1 at the box office, a testament to her gravity and artistry.

In the other corner, we have Billie Eilish accusing Variety magazine of outing her. The Grammy and Oscar winner turned to Instagram to express her displeasure, using phrases such as “instead of talking about anything else that matters” and “literally who cares.”

For context: Variety did not out Eilish.

She had mentioned in an on-the-record interview that she was “physically attracted” to women and that “I’ve never really felt like a girl,” and this was reported in a Variety cover story in November. The fact that Eilish initially spoke to the magazine about her attraction to women so nonchalantly was refreshing. It revealed a measure of peace about her identity as opposed to trepidation.

Her objection came later, after a red-carpet event on Saturday where she faced questions about the comments. Maybe the context felt confrontational. Who knows. What’s clear is she doesn’t think sexual orientation is a topic for the public to dwell on.

Beyoncé very much does. She reportedly began construction of the album and tour nearly five years ago, aiming from the outset to elevate the contributions and lives of queer people of color — particularly those who are trans and nonbinary. This began as an homage to her fans as well as her gay “Uncle Johnny” who introduced her to aspects of queer culture that influence her today.

So there’s one answer to Eilish’s question of “who cares” about a person’s sexuality: Many of the people seen in Beyoncé’s concert film care about representation. The ones who couldn’t hide growing up. The ones who did and hated it. The ones who never thought they would see someone like themselves on the big screen.

You know who else cares? Crusaders like House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.).

He cares so much he’s spent much of his professional life attacking queer rights. We recently learned he wrote a forward to a book that included anti-gay sentiment. And now he’s second in line to the presidency.

Eilish, who is 21, wasn’t really wondering who cares about sexual orientation. She probably meant the remark to suggest what should be a societal norm, as in: Why is her sexual orientation a topic worth discussing anyway? Such a fair point. Unless she’s now dating Taylor Swift, who cares, right? That is the goal: to have it not matter.

Eilish’s sexual orientation and gender identity shouldn’t matter, but we don’t yet live in that world. We live in a world where 315 anti-LGBTQ+ bills were introduced last year. Where more than 520 had already been floated by May of this year: laws against drag, against gender-affirming care, against books. Laws enshrining a right to discriminate.

I know what Eilish was trying to say.

I also know what conservatives are doing in the world that we live in now.

The disconnect explains why the Renaissance tour resonated in the manner in which it did.

It wasn’t about making political statements in defiance of those who seek to do us harm. It was about being heard despite the legislative and cultural attempts to silence us. Remember, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis cares so much about us that he championed a “don’t say gay” bill.

So as much as I embrace progress toward a time when sexual orientation and gender identity are non-issues, I can’t yet think “who cares?” The Republican Party is constantly reminding us that they do: They want queer people erased. The Beyoncé fan base resoundingly told us that they, too, care about representation: They need to see queer people of color celebrated at long last.

Unfortunately, Eilish’s “who cares” comment is more aspirational than a sign we have actually progressed to that point as a society. No matter how good it feels to say it.

[1] David Artavia “Billie Eilish came out. Here's why it still matters,” Yahoo Entertainment,

 https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/billie-eilish-came-heres-why-192443770.html?guccounter=1 Accessed 2023/12/08

[2]