Do you think you have good boundaries? If these things aren't true, I hate to say it, you probably don't. Most people mistakenly think having boundaries means being able to say no. But real boundaries aren't about another person doing anything differently. They're about taking action for yourself as a way of taking care of you. And while I might sound a little harsh right now, boundaries have been something I have personally struggled with my whole life. One, a boundary is something you do, not something you'll hope they do for you. Not a boundary: You need to stop raising your voice. Actual boundary: If the conversation gets loud, I'm gonna step out and come back once we've both calmed down. If you're waiting for them to change so you feel safe, that's not a boundary, that's a wish and a prayer and also feels like punishment. Two, speaking of punishment. A boundary doesn't punish. It protects. Not a boundary: If you don't text me back, I'm blocking you. Actual boundary: When I don't hear from you after we've had a hard conversation, I spiral. So next time, I'm gonna take space and focus on calming my nervous system before trying to reconnect. Three, a boundary is about consistency, not a dramatic declaration. "I'm done. I can't do this anymore. Until next week!" Actual boundary: I love you. And I also know I've been tolerating things that leave me feeling resentful. I'm gonna start doing things differently, so I can stay in this relationship with more integrity. Healthy boundaries aren't ultimatums. They're agreements you make and keep with yourself.
來源出處：
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQZKi28CCAv/?igsh=MXc3cDFoZDFmaDF3Zg==Dolly筆記
聽到這篇文章覺得好有道理，就抄下來原文，順便學習英文單字囉
1. boundary
中文：界線、界限、分界、底線
一句話記憶法： 指出「這裡是我的範圍，超過了我就要用行動保護自己」。
例句：
Setting boundaries helps me protect my energy.
（設下界線能讓我保護好自己的能量。）
2. spiral
中文：螺旋、失控下滑、情緒越轉越糟的狀態
（心理學裡常用來形容情緒失控的漩渦）
一句話記憶法： 想像心情像落水小颱風，一圈一圈往下掉。
例句：
When I don’t hear from you, I start to spiral.
（當我沒有收到你的消息，我就會開始情緒往下掉。）
3. consistency
中文：一致性、持續性、規律、前後一致的行為
一句話記憶法： 不是一次做得很好，是穩穩地一直做。
例句：
Boundaries need consistency, not drama.
（界線需要的是一致性，而不是戲劇性宣告。）
4. declaration
中文：聲明、宣告（通常很正式或戲劇）
一句話記憶法： 很吵的那種「我宣布我受不了了！」叫 declaration。
例句：
“I’m done!” is a declaration, not a boundary.
（「我受夠了！」是一種宣告，不是界線。）
5. resentful
中文：憤恨的、生氣的、心裡不甘的、覺得被委屈的
（通常是長期累積，忍太久的那種）
一句話記憶法： 忍到心裡酸酸苦苦，叫 resentful。
例句：
I’ve been tolerating things that make me feel resentful.
（我一直忍受一些讓我心裡越來越委屈的事情。）
6. integrity
中文：正直、完整、一致性（心理學常用來指活得符合自己內心的價值）
一句話記憶法： 做的事和心裡想的事一致，就是 integrity。
例句：
I want to stay in this relationship with more integrity.
（我希望在這段關係中能更符合自己真正的樣子。）
7. ultimatums
中文：最後通牒、威脅式的終極要求
一句話記憶法： 「你不□□我就□□！」這種叫 ultimatum。
例句：
Healthy boundaries aren’t ultimatums.
（健康的界線不是威脅式的最後通牒。）
