My love... We live in a world that distrusts feelings.
Over and over, we are reminded that feelings are not as important as reason. That feelings are childish, irresponsible, dangerous.
We are taught to ignore them, control, or deny them.
We barely understand what they are, where they come from,
or how they seem to understand us better than we understand ourselves.
But I know that feelings matter.
Sometimes, they′re little...
like when I smell cinnamon toast and I miss my grandma.
And sometimes, they are huge... like when I found out
my girlfriend shares her thoughts with seven other people around the world.
However, if you′re lucky... I mean, really lucky...
a feeling comes along that will change everything.
I remember such a feeling
and how it walloped me years ago when this girl walked into my bookstore.
It is the same feeling that I have right now.
The feeling that this is her. My love. My wife. This is my future.
And I trust this feeling more than I have trusted anything in my life.
Amanita... I wrote this thing like a hundred times
and I tore them all up because I have to admit, I don′t like vows.
I′m afraid of things pretending to be permanent
because nothing is permanent.
My life, especially these past two years,
is a testament to the fact that things change, people change.
But with you... that doesn′t scare me. It actually makes me happy.
It makes me excited... because I can think of no better life
than watching Amanita Caplan change... watching her evolve and grow.
I want to see everything that you become.
I want to know what your hair looks like in a year and decades from now.
I may not be a tragically detached French girl,
but I want to live in an attic apartment in Paris
and bring you tea as you write your novel.
And when we′re both wrinkled old ladies, with cellulite covering my ass, bunions all over your feet, both of us hogging the blankets...
I know I will still remember this moment. I will still be wearing this ring.
Because inside your arms is the only place I′ve ever felt like I was home.