5 Tips on Hosting Group Conversations as an Introvert

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Hosting a group conversation can be a daunting challenge, especially when you're an introvert (like me!).

But with the right approach, I find it a wonderful way to gain new insights about other people, make meaningful connections, and of course, improve social interaction skills. For the past 3 months, I've been hosting English speaking practice groups every week with people who don't know each other, and now I can assure you with confidence:

a great group facilitator doesn't always have to be bright and bubbly. The key here, is to make your members feel safe and comfortable.

Once we create the feelings of safety and belonging, people are more willing to participate.

But how?

Here are some useful tips I concluded from my first-hand experience to help ease the nerves in a group conversation:

1. Give clear briefings. Let them know what they need to do.

Everyone gets nervous in a new social situation – your members might just be as nervous as you! If, like me, making small talks are not one of your many talents, it's okay to let the others do the work for you, but as a host, giving clear directions is certainly essential for a purposeful conversation – it not only ensures everyone is on the same page, but also helps to enforce the desired culture that you want to cultivate within the circle. For example, what does everyone need to prepare before the meeting? Is it okay to use other languages?

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Worried that it might kill too much joy? Try to use words that sound more inviting than instructive.  For example, don't do this: “Everyone has to speak at least 3 times during the whole session.”

Try this instead: “I hope everyone can engage in our conversation and enjoy yourself today.”

2. Start off with a friendly icebreaker question that is related to your topic.

In my experience, open-ended questions spark the conversation. And don't forget to show genuine appreciation for the first member who speaks! It not only builds trust between the host and the member, but it also strikes an excellent example, especially for the nervous and quiet ones - When one person exhibits a behavior in a group that's approved by the leader, the others tend to follow unconsciously.

3.  Kindly ask your members to speak with a volume that everyone can hear.

It might sound a bit demanding to the shy ones, but trust me, it will save everyone lots of embarrassment throughout the whole conversation (Imagine if you have to keep asking people to repeat their words). Plus, it ensures everyone can join in the conversation (it's very likely to become a 1-on-1 chit chat when the group is huge) and stay focused on the topic.  

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4. Allow brief silence.

I can't stress this enough. We are so afraid of quiet moments in social interactions. We feel awkward, stressed, and an urgent need to initiate a new topic; When insecurity kicks in, then we start to think we might have made a fool of ourselves – 'did I say something stupid that the other person can't understand?' I get you.

Despite how scary and uncomfortable it might be, I noticed that when I allow pause to happen (for a while) after a question is asked, people actually come up with more interesting ideas to share. Most often when I assume no one is going to pick up the topic and decide to end the conversation, there are so many words and thoughts actually being brewed in each of our minds. Waiting for people to articulate their thoughts sometimes can be challenging, but hey, it's an essential process of communication, isn't it?

5.  When you need clarification, try to go with 5W1H.

This one largely depends on context and what's the communication style of the other person, but I tend to respond with a this/that question (“Do you mean A or B?”) when I am trying to make sense of what the others are saying. One day I learned this technique from the other leaders before I met my members and decided to make some changes. In our weekly group session, I tried to word my questions into “What do you mean by…?” instead of the old approach. And guess what? They can elaborate their opinions more freely without being limited to the two options I suggested, and I actually received a lot more insights than I had expected!

Takeaway

That's it! If this is your first time hosting a group conversation, but you are not quite sure where to start yet, I hope these tips can give you some ideas about what it's like! At the end of the day, it's about making you and others feel comfortable and valued. With a little bit of courage, lots of practice and patience, I hope you'll find it a challenging yet rewarding experience to meet new people and connect with different minds, even as an introvert, like I do. :)