搞不清楚狀況的小孩

couldn't quite figure things out

I was always a kid who couldn't quite figure things out, you know?

Let me take you back to my early days in elementary school. Back then, I used to share a room with my older sister on the third floor.

One day,

I come home, climb those stairs to the third floor,
swing open the door, and !

There's my sis, hanging on the wall.

My face does this "what the heck" moment.

What's she up to?

Playing some new game or what? It didn't look like much fun, but hey, since she usually spins bedtime tales for me, I thought, why not join the party?

Grab a chair, hang myself up.

Oh oh oh oh oh!

Kinda hurts, and suddenly, it feels like I can't breathe.

The air's like needles, and taking a deep breath becomes this distant dream.

Not fun.

Not fun.

Not fun.

Not fun.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Ouch.

This seriously ain't fun.

Why's my sis so into playing this painful game?

Originally,

the cause of death - suffocation.

Supposedly, I was meant to kick the bucket at the ripe age of 9.

Lucky break, though.

Turns out, the combo of me and sis was too much for our home's curtain cord. Snap! We both come crashing down. She's clutching me, bawling her eyes out, just crying and crying, saying,

"It'd be better if I died.

Little sis, don't you dare kick the bucket.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die."

So, in conclusion,

don't go splurging on top-notch curtains for the house.

我從小就是個搞不清楚狀況的小孩

怎麼說呢？

這要從我小學低年級開始說起

我小時候和我姊住同一間房間，在三樓。

有一天

我回家

爬上三樓的樓梯，

打開門的那瞬間

愕然發現

我親姊姊掛在牆上

ㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜ

ㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜ

ㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜㄜ

我的臉有瞬間的錯愕

她在幹嘛？

在玩什麼新遊戲嗎？

這看起來好像不太好玩

不過，看在她平常會和我講床邊故事

我還是陪她玩好了

我就拿把椅子，把自己掛上去

阿阿阿阿阿阿

有點痛

窒息的感覺襲來

空氣如針，深呼吸變成了奢望

不好玩

不好玩

不好玩

不好玩

好痛

好痛

好痛

好痛

這真的不好玩

我姊怎麼這麼蠢

玩這麼不怎樣的遊戲

原本

死因──窒息

我應該卒於9歲

萬幸

我+姊姊 兩個人太重了，我家的窗簾繩撐不住

斷裂

我和我姊掉了下來

她抱著我大哭

一直哭

一直哭

一直哭

「我死就好了。妹，你不要死」

妹，不要死

不要死

不要死

結論

家裡用來綁窗簾的繩子質量不能買太好