Separate worlds, a lonely embrace.
Unaware of the moon's waxing and waning light.
Our love, forever doomed to this state.
為了彌補翻成英文詞意的不足與湊韻腳,同樣地ChatGPT加油添醋了最後一句的Our love, forever doomed to this state. 但對筆者來說這種程度尚在可以接受的範圍內,而副歌的部分很厲害:
第三首:《千里之外》
這首歌詞比起前面兩首幾乎都是文言文,如前言討論到的,非白話的歌詞要翻成英文更難傳達其意境,光是第一句歌詞「屋簷如懸崖 風鈴如滄海 我等燕歸來」就讓我很頭大,要翻之前還得先搞懂意思,但需要燒腦的事情就交給AI,讓ChatGPT以相同邏輯與原則去翻譯。
這是ChatGPT第一回給出的翻譯:
屋簷如懸崖 風鈴如滄海 我等燕歸來
The eaves are like cliffs, the wind chimes like the sea, and I'm waiting for the swallows to return
時間被安排 演一場意外 妳悄然走開
Time was arranged to perform an accident, you left quietly
故事在城外 濃霧散不開 看不清對白
The story is outside the city, the fog can't disperse, can't see the dialogue clearly
妳聽不出來 風聲不存在 是我在感慨
You can't hear it, the wind doesn't exist, it's me who is sentimental
*
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
When I woke up, who opened the ending on the windowsill?
那薄如蟬翼的未來 經不起誰來拆
The future as thin as cicada wings can't withstand anyone's dismantling
*
我送妳離開 千里之外 妳無聲黑白
I sent you away, thousands of miles away, you're silent in black and white
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
The silent era, perhaps we shouldn't have loved so far away
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
I sent you away, beyond the horizon, are you still there?
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待
Where does the sound of the zither come from? Life and death are hard to guess, waiting for it with one's lifetime
*
一身琉璃白 透明著塵埃 妳無瑕的愛
Dressed in pure white, transparent with dust, your flawless love
妳從雨中來 詩化了悲哀 我淋濕現在
You came from the rain, poeticized the sorrow, I'm soaked now
芙蓉水面採 船行影猶在 妳卻不回來
Picking lotus on the water, the shadow of the boat still remains, but you never come back
被歲月覆蓋 妳說的花開 過去成空白
Covered by time, the flowers you said bloomed have become blank in the past
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
When I woke up, who opened the ending on the windowsill?
那薄如蟬翼的未來 經不起誰來拆
*
The future as thin as cicada wings can't withstand anyone's dismantling
我送妳離開 千里之外 妳無聲黑白
I sent you away, thousands of miles away, you're silent in black and white
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
The silent era, perhaps we shouldn't have loved so far away
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
I sent you away, beyond the horizon, are you still there?
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待
Where does the sound of the zither come from? Life and death are hard to guess, waiting for it with one's lifetime
翻譯結果可以預期,為了盡可能解釋文言文中飽含的意義,轉化成英文後句子相對變得很長,押韻的部分無法兼顧,有些地方翻譯得怪怪的,好像是翻譯到了,但又差了美感與意境。以這句話來說:
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
The silent era, perhaps we shouldn't have loved so far away
原文應該理解為:
沉默年代 (我們)或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
ChatGPT 很好的理解並把中文省略的(我們)we 翻出來了,但we shouldn’t loved so far way 又完全照字面去翻顯得缺乏意境。
而這句的前一句,也是整首歌最重要的歌詞:
我送妳離開 千里之外 妳無聲黑白
I sent you away, thousands of miles away, you're silent in black and white
用兩個away來押離「開」的「開」與之「外」的「外」挺不錯的,但是you're silent in black and white 同樣全照字面翻,不確定是否能傳達出那種年代久遠的默劇感。
因此筆者讓ChatGPT來回調整,這是第三次得出的翻譯結果:
屋簷如懸崖 風鈴如滄海 我等燕歸來
Roof like a cliff, wind chimes like the sea
Waiting for the return of the swallows, me
時間被安排 演一場意外 妳悄然走開
Time arranged a surprise, you quietly walked away
故事在城外 濃霧散不開 看不清對白
The story outside the city, thick fog can't display
Can't see the dialogue
*
妳聽不出來 風聲不存在 是我在感慨
You couldn't hear the wind doesn't exist, it's just me feeling so clear
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
Who opened the ending, when I woke up
那薄如蟬翼的未來 經不起誰來拆
The fragile future, can't withstand anyone's abrupt
*
我送妳離開 千里之外 妳無聲黑白
I sent you away, a thousand miles apart
You in silence, black and white in my heart
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
An era of silence, perhaps our love was too far
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
I sent you away, beyond the ends of the earth
Are you still there, where oceans gave birth?
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待
Music from the strings, life and death to surmise
Waiting with a lifetime, as you materialize
*
一身琉璃白 透明著塵埃 妳無瑕的愛
Your translucent white, dust revealing your past
一身琉璃白 透明著塵埃 妳無瑕的愛
You loved me unblemished, and that forever lasts
妳從雨中來 詩化了悲哀 我淋濕現在
You came from the rain, poetry in your sadness
I'm drenched in the present, missing your presence
*
芙蓉水面採 船行影猶在 妳卻不回來
Lotus picked on water, shadow left by the boat
You're not coming back
被歲月覆蓋 妳說的花開 過去成空白
Time has covered what you spoke
Who opened the ending
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
When I woke up
The fragile future, can't withstand anyone's abrupt
*
我送妳離開 千里之外 妳無聲黑白
I sent you away, a thousand miles apart
You in silence, black and white in my heart
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
An era of silence, perhaps our love was too far
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
I sent you away, beyond the ends of the earth
Are you still there, where oceans gave birth?
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待
Music from the strings, life and death to surmise
Waiting with a lifetime, as you materialize
這次的翻譯不論從內容上還是結構上都更加符合英文古典詩詞,雖然為了押韻稍微偏離原曲詞意並增添許多單字,但結構精簡省略不少be動詞與主受詞,比起第一次翻譯像是在說明解釋,調整後的翻譯版本變得更像歌詞。
找幾句歌詞做對比:
妳從雨中來 詩化了悲哀 我淋濕現在
- ChatGPT第一次翻譯:You came from the rain, poeticized the sorrow, I'm soaked now
- ChatGPT調整後的翻譯:You came from the rain, poetry in your sadness. I'm drenched in the present, missing your presence
第一次翻譯較為直觀,調整後雖句子變長但更添詩意與意境。
芙蓉水面採 船行影猶在 妳卻不回來
- ChatGPT第一次翻譯:Picking lotus on the water, the shadow of the boat still remains, but you never come back
- ChatGPT調整後的翻譯:Lotus picked on water, shadow left by the boat. You're not coming back
調整後的翻譯前兩句使用了被動型態的文法,芙蓉被摘採,影子被留下,但你沒回來。一樣較具詩意且句子結構與長度較一致。
副歌的部分:
我送妳離開 千里之外 妳無聲黑白
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
I sent you away, thousands of miles away, you're silent in black and white
An era of silence, perhaps our love was too far
I sent you away, a thousand miles apart
You in silence, black and white in my heart
The silent era, perhaps we shouldn't have loved so far away
筆者個人這邊同樣比較喜歡調整後的翻譯,a thousand miles apart的apart更加有男女主角的分離感,但太遙遠的相愛翻得頗為冗長,若省略away會比較好,變成這樣:
I sent you away, a thousand miles apart
You in silence, black and white in my heart
The silent era, perhaps we shouldn't have loved so far
第一次翻譯與調整後的翻譯各有優缺點,就看大家偏愛哪一種版本,可以將兩種版本結合下去調整更好,筆者認為《千里之外》真的是頗難翻譯的歌詞,在沒有任何名詞解釋的前提下ChatGPT已經理解並翻譯得很不錯了。
同時從這三首難度不同的歌詞翻譯中,還是能看見ChatGPT在翻譯上的侷限性,最重要的是翻譯出來的結果仍需要潤飾與修改,程度取決於原曲的篇幅與難度,但整體來說大幅節省了自行翻譯所需的時間,依舊是十分好用的翻譯與語言學習工具,供各位參考啦。