異國婚姻好嗎？｜笑話 Is a Cross-cultural marriage Good? | A Joke（雙語寫作）

多年前，第一次去北京。剛上完早上中文教師研習的課程，下午主辦單位做東安排我們去北京旅遊景點遊玩。一群人坐在遊覽車裡，帶著參加旅遊團般的愉悅心情，期待即將抵達的旅遊景點。我和坐在走道另一邊的女老師閒聊起來。

Vaibhav Nagare on Unsplash

圓圓的臉蛋，圓圓的身材，眼角帶著犀利的她正滔滔不絕的說著她在模里西斯住了幾十年了，很驕傲她在那裡教中文也幾十年了，結了婚，嫁給印度人。

這是我第一次認識一個同語言的太太也嫁給印度人，因為我還處於新婚狀態，於是很興奮的想跟她多請教和印度先生相處的秘笈。我一跟她說我先生也是印度人，她就拿出手機一一給我看她的印度先生、與他們同住的印度公婆的照片。

然後，她開始如數家珍的列舉她能烹飪的印度料理，就在我要開口誇她是位非常稱職的中國籍印度太太，她話鋒一轉，用很認真質問的口吻說：「我剛剛說的那幾道菜，妳會做哪道？」我笑答：「我連妳說的菜名我都聽都沒聽過，更別說會做了！」

頓時，她臉上毫不掩飾的露出輕蔑的表情。「那妳不能說妳嫁給印度人!」她說，然後匆匆和我結束了話題，轉過頭，明顯表示不想再和我繼續交談下去。她莫名無禮的態度，沒有比那句話更傷人。

Z先生和新朋友聊天時，最喜歡跟人說他不是傳統的印度人，因為他生長在印度的年數用五支手指頭數還閒太多。他會自己煮印度餐這一點也很不印度人，因為很多印度先生連煎個蛋都不會。

前幾年，他在印度長住一個月後生病，去看醫生時，診斷出他缺乏營養，醫生給的建議是：「你多吃吃你平常愛吃的麵包和起司，還有披薩吧！」一個印度人吃印度餐吃到營養不良，Z先生自己都覺得自己很好笑。

所以，能不能有誰幫忙一下，幫我莫名無禮得跟Z先生說：「那你不能說你是印度人!」讓我心理平衡一下。

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Many years ago, I went to Beijing for the first time. After finishing a morning session of a Chinese language teacher training course, the organizers arranged for us to visit some tourist spots in Beijing in the afternoon. The group of people was sitting on a tour bus, feeling the joy of participating in a sightseeing tour and looking forward to the upcoming attractions. I started chatting with a female teacher sitting across the aisle.

She had a round face, a round figure, but sharp eyes, and she was enthusiastically talking about how she had lived in Mauritius for decades and proudly taught Chinese there for just as long. She was married and her husband was an Indian.

This was the first time I had met a fellow Chinese woman married to an Indian. Since I was newly married, I was excited to ask her for tips on getting along with an Indian husband. When I told her that my husband was also Indian, she took out her phone and showed me photos of her Indian husband and her Indian in-laws who lived with them.

Then, she began to list the Indian dishes she could cook. Just as I was about to praise her for being an exemplary Chinese-Indian wife, she suddenly asked me seriously, "Which ones can you cook out of the dishes I mentioned, ?" I laughed and replied, "I haven't even heard of the names of the dishes you're talking about, let alone know how to cook them!"

Immediately, her face showed undisguised contempt. "Then you can't say you're married to an Indian!" she said, then quickly ended the conversation and turned away, clearly indicating she did not want to talk to me any further. Her inexplicably rude attitude was no more hurtful than that remark.

When Mr. Z chats with new friends and he always says he is not a traditional Indian because the years he spent in India can be counted on one hand. He can cook Indian food himself, which is also quite un-Indian, as many Indian men can’t even fry an egg.

A few years ago, he got sick after living in India for a month and was diagnosed with malnutrition. The doctor's advice was, "You should eat more of the bread and cheese or pizza you like!" An Indian person became malnourished from eating Indian food.—Mr. Z found himself hilarious.

So, can someone please do me a favor and tell Mr. Z, "Then you can't say you're Indian!" to make me feel being fair treated and better?