Both sides Now-Joni Michell

初聽到Joni Mitchell 50幾歲用著低沈的嗓音唱的Both sides Now，緩慢旋律和優美的歌詞有種距離感，電影Love Actually「愛是您，愛是我」Emma Thompson在聖誕節發現老公項鍊不是給自己，而是送Joni Michell 專輯的橋段，Both sides Now出現；電影CODA「樂動心旋律」女主角為圓歌唱夢，參加比賽也唱Both sides Now，搭配著手語唱給聾啞的家人聽。Love Actually的情景是一種背叛失落惆悵悲傷感；CODA則是一種對於家人支持給予愛的幸福感。再次聽到Joni Mitchell 20幾歲唱的版本，吉他輕快彈奏的旋律，看聽著歌詞有種共鳴感，貼近近來的心情寫照：

Rows and flows of angel hair 天使頭髮的排列和流動

And feather canyons everywhere 到處佈滿羽毛的峽谷

Looked at clouds that way 望著那邊的雲

But now they only block the sun 而它們現在只有阻擋陽光

They rain and they snow on everyone 他們把雨和雪落下在每個人身上

So many things I would have done好多事情我需要做

But clouds got in my way但雲擋住我的路

I've looked at clouds from both sides now我用著一體兩面的角度看著雲層

From up and down and still somehow由上往下看仍然不知所云

It's cloud illusions I recall我只記得是雲的幻像

I really don't know clouds at all 我真的完全不知道那些雲

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels月亮、六月和摩天輪

The dizzy dancing way that you feel 讓你頭暈目眩的舞步

As every fairy tale comes real 當每則童話故事的成真

I've looked at love that way 我曾經用那種方法看著愛

But now it's just another show 但如今就只是另一場秀

And you leave 'em laughing when you go而當你離去時讓他們笑

And if you care, don't let them know假如你在乎勿讓他們知道

Don't give yourself away不要放棄你自己

I've looked at love from both sides now我用著一體兩面的角度看著愛

From give and take and still somehow從給予和索取仍然不知所云

It's love's illusions that I recall我只記得是愛的幻象

I really don't know love 我真的不懂愛為何

Really don't know love at all真的完全不懂

Tears and fears and feeling proud淚水恐懼而且感到自豪

To say, "I love you" right out loud大聲說我愛你

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds夢想、目標和馬戲團

I've looked at life that way我曾經用那種方式看待生活

Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange但現在我的老朋友表現的很奇怪

And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed他們搖頭並且告訴我我已經變了

Well something's lost, but something's gained有些是失去而有些獲得

In living every day在每一天的生活

I've looked at life from both sides now我用著一體兩面的角度看待生活

From win and lose and still somehow從贏到輸到現在仍然不知所云

It's life's illusions I recall我只記得生活的幻象

I really don't know life at all我真的完全不懂生活

It's life's illusions that I recall我只記得生活的幻象

I really don't know life我真的不懂生活

I really don't know life at all我真的完全不懂生活

開頭美景畫面感很強的歌詞，似乎說著每個人對於人生期待有很美好的想像，在自己的道路旅行啟程，路程中遇到的風霜阻擋著無法前進，曾經對於愛情幻想著童話故事般出現，到頭來當卻已成為幻象，帶著夢想目標用力熱情的生活，但當在失去和獲得及贏和輸的循環中旋轉時，好像很多細節都忘了，身邊的人事物也逐漸的失去，到頭來生活的意義為何呢。

或許生活道路不能如自己期待建構好的行走，成為大人後自以為懂的很多，但太多無法預測和不確定的人事物衝擊，又回歸到重整覺察的階段，意會到很多事物沒有固定的答案，到頭來變成模糊的灰色地帶。