你選擇的夥伴跟你有相同的目標,並且不會以他自身的標準決定你該成為什麼樣,而是讓你自己決定你該是什麼樣。
Lesson 10 of 11
第十堂課
The Role of Family and Friends in Shaping Habits
培養習慣時,親朋好友從中扮演的角色
Welcome to the fourth and final week of 30 Days to Better Habits. One of my primary objectives this week is to give you the resources you need to stick with your habits for the long run.
In this lesson, we’re discussing one of the most powerful drivers of habits and behavior change: the social environment.
歡迎來到《30天養成好習慣》的第四週,同時也是最後一週。這週我的要務之一,是提供你將習慣長期堅持下去的資源。
在這堂課,我們會討論習慣與行為模式改變最重要的驅動因子之一:社會環境。
This is true in large and small ways. Large tribes like nations, religions, and businesses can influence our behavior. And small tribes like what neighborhood you live in, what school you go to, or what organization you volunteer with can also influence your behavior.
The way that social environment influences our habits is through the tribes we belong to and the groups we are a part of.
We are all part of multiple tribes. The tribes we belong to shape our behavior.
藉由我們隸屬的族群與我們視自己為其中一部分的群體,社會環境深深影響著我們。
我們都是許多不同群體的一部分,而我們歸屬的群體形塑我們的行為。
不管從廣義或狹義的角度來看,這都有其道理。大的群體,像是國籍、宗教與商務往來能影響我們的行為;小的群體就如你居住的社區、你讀的學校,或者你擔任志工的組織,都能影響你的行為。
The key factor in any of these tribes is that we have a sense of belonging. When you want to belong to a tribe, you want to repeat the habits of that tribe. We naturally soak up the habits of those around us.
If you move to a new neighborhood where your neighbors meticulously maintain their lawns, you might start gardening or landscaping your lawn too.
If you start going to a CrossFit class where all your classmates eat a Paleo diet, you might start eating that way too.
If you join a church or mosque that values community service, you might start volunteering your time as well.
這些群體影響我們的關鍵因素正在於歸屬感,當你想要加入一個群體,你就會重複那個群體會做的事(習慣),我們自然而然會被這些環繞著生活的習慣耳濡目染。
如果你移居到一個新的社區,發現你的鄰居精心維護他們的草坪,你也可能開始做園藝或整理你家的草坪。
如果你開始去健身房的大班課,發現你的同學們都做原始人飲食法,你也可能開始採取同樣的飲食方法。
如果你加入講究社區服務的教會或回教協會,你也可能會開始用閒暇時間做志工。
Your culture sets your expectation for what is “normal.” Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have yourself. You’ll rise together.
Mike Massimino, an astronaut, is a perfect example of this concept. Massimino took a small robotics class at MIT. Of the ten people in the class, four became astronauts. If the goal was to make it into space, then that room was one of the best tribes to be in. The "normal" level of performance in that room was much higher than average. Massimino soaked up all sorts of habits related to becoming an astronaut, many of which he probably wasn’t even aware of.
你所處的文化定義你認知的「正常」。待在那些擁有你希望能養成的習慣的人身邊,你們能一起前進。
太空人邁克・馬西米諾,正是這個主題最好的例子。馬西米諾在美國加州理工大學就學時,修了一門機器人的小班課,在十個修課的學生中,最後有四個成為太空人。如果目標是前往太空的話,那堂課正是最適合加入的群體之一,因為在這個課堂中,想要步入太空的表現被視為「正常」程度比人類社會平均還要高。馬西米諾被成為太空人相關的各種習慣浸淫,很多他當時甚至可能不知道。
This strategy can be utilized no matter what habits you desire to build. The key step is to join a group where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.
New habits seem achievable when you see others doing them every day. If you’re surrounded by readers, you’re more likely to consider reading to be a common habit. If you’re surrounded by people who recycle, you’re more likely to start recycling too. If your child is surrounded by friends who value studying and getting good grades, he or she will likely develop studious habits too.
這個策略運用在任何你想要培養的習慣,而關鍵的一步就是加入一個將你渴望的行為視為常態的群體。
當你每天見到其他人這麼做時,你就會覺得新習慣看起來更可達成一些。如果你身旁盡是會閱讀的人,你就更有可能將閱讀視為一種普遍的習慣;如果你身旁盡是騎單車的人,你就更有可能也開始嘗試騎單車;如果你的孩子身旁盡是重視讀書並取得好成績的朋友,他或她也可能會發展出好學的興趣。
Whenever I’m writing at home office and I get stuck, my mind immediately looks for ways to check out. I’ll pull out my phone, browse the web, or head to the kitchen in search of food. But sometimes I call another writer friend and we work together for a few hours. If I’m with a peer and my mind stalls, I just sit there for a minute or two until the mental block passes. I don’t want to be the lazy one who stops working after a few minutes, and as a result, I get three times as much done as I do on my own.
每當我在家寫作但寫不出來時,我的腦袋就會立刻想方設法要離開位置上,我會拿出手機、瀏覽網頁,或者走去廚房找點吃的。但有時候,我會選擇找另一個作家朋友一塊工作幾個小時,當我和同儕在一起,就算我開始心不在焉,我也只會坐在那一兩分鐘、直到思緒暢通。我不想成為那個幾分鐘後就停下工作的懶惰蟲,因此,我會得到比獨自一人寫作時多兩倍的成果。
My friends who meditate tell me the same thing: it is much easier to do with someone else. When you’re meditating alone, you can give up whenever your mind wanders. Maybe you were planning on doing ten minutes of meditation, but it’s been seven minutes and, whatever, that’s good enough. But when you’re meditating with a friend and seven minutes pass, well, you don’t want to be the first one to quit. You’ll sit there the entire time.
Nothing sustains motivation better than belonging to the tribe. It transforms a personal quest into a shared one. Previously, you were on your own. Your identity was singular. You are a reader. You are a musician. You are an athlete.
有冥想習慣的朋友告訴我同樣的道理:和別人一起做總是容易一些。當你一個人冥想時,你會在分心時就直接放棄,就算你原本可能打算做十分鐘的冥想,最後只有七分鐘,隨便啦,反正有做就好。但當你和朋友一起冥想時,七分鐘過去了,嗯,你總是不想當第一個放棄的人,你就會在那裡坐到時間結束。
沒有什麼比歸屬感更能維持動力。歸屬感將一種個人實現轉化為共享的,以前,你是孤軍奮戰,你的自我認同是單數,你是一個讀者,你是一個音樂家,你是一個運動員。
當你加入圖書會、樂團或自行車隊,你的身份認同會與周遭的人產生連結,成長與改變不再單純是個人追求,我們是讀者、我們是音樂家、我們是自行車手。
這種共享的身份認同就會開始強化你的個人身份認同,而這也是在達成目標後,持續待在那個群體能幫助你維持該習慣的關鍵:是友誼與社群嵌合新的身份認同,並且讓人的行為能長期維繫下去。
When you join a book club or a band or a cycling group, your identity becomes linked to those around you. Growth and change is no longer an individual pursuit. We are readers. We are musicians. We are cyclists.
The shared identity begins to reinforce your personal identity. This is why remaining part of a group after achieving a goal is crucial to maintaining your habits. It’s friendship and community that embed a new identity and help behaviors last over the long run.
That's all for Lesson 10. See you in the next lesson,
James Clear
Author of Atomic Habits and keynote speaker
這就是第十課的全部了,期待下一堂課再見。
詹姆斯.克利爾
《原子習慣》作者與keynote講者
Progress Check-In
This is the fourth and final week of 30 Days to Better Habits. One of my primary objectives this week is to give you the resources you need to stick with your habits for the long run. The social environment plays a large role in your willingness to adhere to a habit over time.
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章節回顧
這是〈30天養成好習慣〉的第四週,同時也是最後一週。這週我的要務之一,是提供你將習慣長期堅持下去的資源。社會環境正是一次次影響你是否遵循習慣的重要因素。
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