「F**KING ASSH*LE EPSTEIN！」
你這混帳！愛剝絲坦！
「Hi Bill. What can I do for you?」
我的好兄弟比爾，怎麼啦？我可以為你做些甚麼？
「The Russian CHICK you hooked me up was DIRTY?」
你介紹過來的那個俄羅斯小妞...居然是"髒"的！？
「HaHa Bill, this is normal. I often get viruses using Window XP too, and I've reported it many times. Your customer service only tells me to install antivirus software myself. You should install your own antivirus software too.」
比爾, 這很正常, 就像我用 window XP 也常中毒, 我反應了好多次, 你們的客服也只叫我自己裝防毒軟體, 你也應該自己裝好防毒軟體啊！
「Damn it! Don't tell me again that using Apple products makes you less likely to get a virus. I hate hearing that topic... By the way, do you have any antivirus software for me to install?」
混帳！不要再跟我說用 Apple 比較不容易中毒，我最討厭聽到這個話題...話說回來，你有防毒軟體給我裝嗎？
「Here, just place an order for "Antivirus Software for Bill" on my Amazon account. Amazon's delivery boy will bring it to your door within 24 hours.」
來，你在我亞馬遜的帳號上，下單那個"給比爾的防毒軟體"就可以了，24小時內，亞馬遜的快遞人員會把東西送到你家
「I hate that fake smile bald guy the most. How come you have an account on that bald guy's website?」
我最討厭那個假笑的光頭，你居然在那光頭的網站上有帳號？
「Don't be so petty. AND REMEMBER to INSTALL antivirus software on your WIFE too. After all... you've been married for a long time, and maybe you'll still occasionally use the old Grandma IE. I guess...」
別那麼小心眼，記得，要把防毒軟體也裝一份在你夫人身上，畢竟...你們老夫老妻了，或許你偶爾還會使用舊得像是老奶奶的IE，我猜
「GOD DAMMNIT JESUS ! I just used the old-Grandma IE browser two days ago... and you didn't even do a medical check-up on that Russian CHICK beforehand?」
我親愛的耶穌啊！我前兩天才用過老奶奶IE...你居然沒有對那個俄羅斯小妞事先體檢？
「I DID HAVE that CHICK undergo a medical examination beforehand; in fact, that's why I sent her to your place.」
我"有"對那小妞事先體檢，事實上，我就是因為體檢的結果很滿意，才把那小妞送去你那裏的
「......You really are a DEMON.」
......你真的是一個惡魔
「No, I'm a low class nobody in society, Who told you not to read Master Lao Na's new book properly?」
不，我只是一個江湖中的下九流人物，誰叫你沒有好好看老衲師傅的新書？
「What book is that? I want to read it right away!」
那是甚麼書？我馬上看！
「Remember to write a book recommendation for the New York Times after you finish reading "The Lower Classes of Jianghu"!」
《下九流江湖繪卷》，記得看完，要在紐約時報上寫新書推薦嘿！
#老衲作品集
#下九流江湖繪卷
#還有人沒看過這本奇書嗎？
#書的下單連結可以看留言區
