How to Not Die Alone《哈佛✕Google行為科學家的脫單指南》|單身焦慮之如何建立穩定的情感關係?

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『 How to Not Die Alone 』這本書的中文譯名-哈佛 Google行為科學家的脫單指南 實在太恥,要是在書店看到根本不會想拿起來讀,起初是因為聽了Podcast 童話裡都是騙人 的介紹,我才發覺它跟一般的兩性教科書很不一樣。
作者因為在Google工作過,也擔任美國著名交友軟體的"人際關係科學"總監。同時有大數據心理學理論的佐證,不光是怎麼找對象,連怎麼分手、邁入結婚的實證練習這本書裡都有教,讀到最後我反而像是在看人類行為分析,套用在身旁友人或對小孩的情感教育,好像都有那麼點道理。

❤️ 首先要先知道自己的情感依附的類型,是安全依附焦慮依附?還是迴避依附?這其實是滿有名的心理學實驗,隨便查都一堆文章可以讀。

❤️ 要知道這世界上50%都是安全依附情感的人,他們通常都很早就死會了,剩下的就是焦慮型的在抓殺迴避型依附的,也難怪我們一直找不到穩定的情感對象,除非你前世燒好香,碰到一個安全依附型的願意理解你。

❤️ 有滿大的篇幅是在教人怎麼去約會,作者其實不斷地強調約會是需要不斷地去練習的,因為「愛情火花」是需要靠培養而來的。而相處過程也是判斷人生伴侶的重要指標,你得花時間進行第二、三次約會後,才可能看出彼此是否適合。

❤️ 其實找對象並不難,真正難的是怎麼去維持穩定的情感關係,然而成功的感情關係都需要長期經營,談感情的對象要是沒這個概念,那麼永遠都會在短期情感中迴轉著。
本書最有效益的技巧,其實就在書封上,光是放在交友軟體上的照片,男女的思維就已經大不相同了!
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