聯經版《印度之旅》譯本,書前有臺師大翻譯所賴慈芸教授的序〈樂見《印度之旅》新譯〉,簡介、比較臺灣坊間三種譯本,指出「相較之下,新譯本少有誤譯,又比較注重上下文的邏輯合理性,明白曉暢,少用代名詞(如把「他們」指涉的「印度人」寫出來),是到目前為止可讀性最高的譯本。」
譯者李斯毅,譯有佛斯特《印度之旅》、《墨利斯的情人》,伊夫林.沃(Evelyn Waugh)《一掬塵土》、《慾望莊園》等二十世紀重量級英國長篇小說,更以《慾望莊園》獲改制後第二屆梁實秋翻譯大師獎優選。
但這部《印度之旅》新譯本充斥令人髮指的錯誤,先舉出兩個最嚴重的。
其一,對《印度之旅》稍有了解的外文系所學生都知道,故事的場景尚札普鎮(Chandrapore)及馬拉巴岩洞(Marabar Caves)均係小說家虛構,只存在於小說之中,根本不存在於現實世界。然而李譯本第167頁竟出現以下註釋:「馬拉巴岩洞的入口處原本都未經修飾,象徵佛教唯心論的精神。現今在馬拉巴岩洞外刻有碑文,據說是印度最偉大的皇帝阿育王所刻。」這種「反注釋」,不啻我們這個「後真相時代」的最佳詮釋。
其二,第58頁的小說本文:「他們忽視藝文活動的態度眾所周知,反正他們也不在意讓人知道自己對藝術缺乏興趣。英國公立學校的教育態度就是如此,但是這種現象在印度遠比在英國嚴重......」(底線為筆者所加)
原文是 Their ignorance of the Arts was notable, and they lost no opportunity of proclaiming it to one another; it was the Public School attitude, flourishing more vigorously than it can yet hope to do in England. (底線為筆者所加)
譯文最刺眼莫過於「公立學校」這四個字。英國的public School是私立學校,學費通常還相當昂貴,對英國稍有概念者便知。到了這位譯界仁兄的筆下,竟成了人人讀得起的「公立學校」?他對英國究竟了解多少?當然,編輯也不無責任。
這兩點還只是最誇張的,以下是我對照原文的發現,供讀者諸君一笑。
***
"Had you not better clean your teeth after pan?"
"If my teeth are to be cleaned, I don't go at all. I am an Indian, it is an Indian habit to take pan. The Civil Surgeon must put up with it…."
「而且你剛吃過東西,要不要先刷牙再去見他呢?」
「如果還要我先刷牙才能去看他,那麼我就不去了!我是印度人,印度人才不管那麼多,英國駐印醫生必須忍受這一點……」
按:pan是檳榔,漏譯。
*
Amid much that was alien, he learnt that the two new ladies from England had been a great success, and that their politeness in wishing to be Mrs. Bhattacharya's guests had pleased not only her but all Indians who heard of it.
在這些賓客當中,費爾汀先生發現了那兩位剛來到印度不久的英國女士……
按:原文只說費爾丁先生「得知」(learnt)兩位女士大受歡迎,沒說「看到」。
*
The knife he loved and used skilfully, and he also liked pumping in the latest serums. But the boredom of regime and hygiene repelled him, and after inoculating a man for enteric, he would go away and drink unfiltered water himself. "What can you expect from the fellow?" said dour Major Callendar.
阿吉茲喜歡替病人開刀,他開刀技術很好。除此之外,他也喜歡替病人抽血。然而印度的社會體制與環境衛生令他難以忍受;每次他替老百姓打完腸病毒預防針,那些人離開之後又會繼續飲用未經過濾的髒水。「印度人的衛生習慣太糟糕了!」態度嚴厲的卡蘭達少校總愛這樣批評。
按:pumping in the latest serums應是「注射最新的血清」,呼應下一句的inoculate「注射」,不是「幫病人抽血」;drink unfiltered water himself的主詞應仍是阿吉茲醫師,不是病人,意思是阿吉茲醫師嫌環境不衛生,自己卻喝未經過濾的水,下文的the fellow即為明證。此蓋佛斯特諷刺筆調之一例也。我譯為:他愛用手術刀,手法純熟,也愛注射最新送來的血清。但無趣的體制和衛生條件讓他反感。幫腸病毒患者打完針後,他一走開就去飲用未經過濾的水。「對這傢伙,能有什麼期待?」陰沉的卡蘭達少校說。
*
Sometimes, to the exasperation of Major Callendar, he would pass over the one relevant fact in a position, to dwell on the hundred irrelevant.
有時他為了激怒卡蘭達少校,因此刻意略過話題裡的相關事項,反而扯一些無關緊要的瑣事。
按:不是「為了激怒」,是無意間激怒;如果是有意的,豈不與下文「阿吉茲覺得有一股他無法控制的力量,迫使他選擇沉默」矛盾?我譯為:有時他會跳過要緊的事實,卻在一堆無關緊要的部分打轉,讓卡蘭達少校大為光火。
*
"I'm afraid so. Incredible, aren't they, even the best of them? They're all—they all forget their back collar studs sooner or later…."
「是的。妳沒想到吧?像勇士大公這麼優秀的人,頂多也只有這種水準。所有印度人都一樣,遲早會表現出粗心大意的一面。……」
按:forget their back collar studs(忘了扣領子背後的扣子)漏譯。
*
By this method serious and I may say ludicrous accidents, such as befell one of my compatriots during that delightful reception at the English Club, are avoided.
只要以這種方式嚴謹地學習,就能避免日前發生在英國人俱樂部的那種荒謬意外了。
按:形容詞serious和ludicrous都修飾名詞accidents,and I may say是插入語,因此serious and I may say ludicrous accidents是「嚴重甚至可以說是可笑的意外」。譯者妄改為副詞「嚴謹地」,可謂有失嚴謹,也算一次「可笑的意外」。
*
Her hand touched his, owing to a jolt, and one of the thrills so frequent in the animal kingdom passed between them, and announced that all their difficulties were only a lovers' quarrel. Each was too proud to increase the pressure, but neither withdrew it,
and a spurious unity descended on them, as local and temporary as the gleam that inhabits a firefly. It would vanish in a moment, perhaps to reappear, but the darkness is alone durable. And the night that encircled them, absolute as it seemed, was itself only a spurious unity, being modified by the gleams of day that leaked up round the edges of the earth, and by the stars.
由於汽車晃得厲害,愛黛拉的手不小心碰到朗尼的手,當下兩人心中都萌生一股悸動,彷彿剛才鬧分手只不過是情人之間的小爭吵。由於朗尼和愛黛拉的個性都太高傲,所以都不想再給對方壓力,但是也不想讓此刻的悸動告終,因此兩人就維持這種和諧的氣氛。這種和諧的氛圍彷彿螢火蟲的光亮,微小而且短暫,過一會兒就會消失,但是也可能會再度出現,唯一不變的是黑夜。深邃的黑暗持續環繞於他們四周,乍看之下非常絕對,然而也可能只是假象,不久之後就會被從地表邊緣浮現的日光以及點點星光所改變。
按:one of the thrills so frequent in the animal kingdom漏譯;a spurious unity出現兩次,第一次譯為「和諧的氣氛」,第二次譯為「假象」,各對了一半,且譯法不統一,作者的巧思遂蕩然。Each was too proud to increase the pressure意思似亦不對。「但是也不想讓此刻的悸動告終」、「深邃」均為譯者妄加。我譯為:一陣顛簸,她的手碰到他的手,一股動物界常有的悸動傳遍他們全身,宣告所有的難題只不過是小倆口之間拌嘴而已。雙方都太矜持,不願意把手握得更緊,但誰也沒縮手;籠罩他們的是一種詭譎的和諧,像螢火蟲的光芒,渺小,短暫,一眨眼就會消失,或許會再度出現,而此刻長久的唯有黑夜。但那包圍他們的黑夜,看似絕對,其本身卻也不過是一種詭譎的和諧,正被大地邊緣溢出的天光及星斗改變。
*
The English people walked a few steps back into the darkness, united and happy.
朗尼和愛黛拉轉身走進暗處,他們手牽著手,神情相當愉悅。
按:Unite是心連心,卻未必手牽手吧。殖民地官員和未婚女子會在被殖民者面前手牽手嗎?
*
The noise woke the mater up. She had been dreaming of the absent children who were so seldom mentioned, Ralph and Stella, and did not at first grasp what was required of her. She too had become used to thoughtful procrastination, and felt alarmed when it came to an end.
開門聲驚醒了屋內的摩爾夫人。摩爾夫人原本在睡覺,而且還夢見她遠在英國的另外兩個孩子:勞夫和史黛拉。她好久沒有想到他們了,一時之間不知道該如何面對他們──而且,因為在印度待久了,摩爾夫人已經開始習慣出於體貼而凡事緩慢而行,因此等到夢境結束時,她才驚覺自己什麼話都沒有對那兩個孩子說。
按:這段有點曖昧。我的讀法是:「聲響吵醒了母親。她剛才夢見這一向絕少提到的不在身邊的孩子羅弗和絲黛拉,醒時一時不知如何是好。她也已漸漸習慣於多慮躊躇,直到夢結束了才驚覺過來。」婉言道出摩爾夫人一直不願正視兒子和未婚妻Quested小姐之間價值觀的矛盾。譯者抓住too,引申為「和印度人一樣」,並揣摩醒夢之際欲說還休的親情,倒也未必錯。蓋此書ambiguous如是矣。
*
"Pray, Mr. Fielding, what induced you to speak to me in such a tone?"
「你應該多禱告,費爾汀先生。你為什麼用這種口氣對我說話?」
按:Pray當副詞時,同please,譯為「幫幫忙」之類即可,本書人物說了好幾次,譯者皆誤以為動詞「禱告」。天可憐見。
*
"I want my pack of patience cards."
「我要你對我有點耐心。」
按:整句譯錯,此處Patience指幾種撲克牌的玩法,應為「我要我那包撲克牌」。
*
"Pray don't apologize, Mr. Heaslop; I am accustomed to being in the wrong."
「但是我這個人只會禱告,從不道歉。希斯洛普先生,我已經習慣別人說我做錯事。」
按:Pray再次譯錯。我譯為:「請甭道歉了,希斯洛普先生,反正每次錯的都是我,我習慣了。」
*
And in order to illustrate the strategy, they produced a plan of the Marabar Hills, showing the route that the party had taken, and the "Tank of the Dagger" where they had camped.
The Magistrate displayed interest in archæology.
為了證明阿吉茲的計謀,警方還製作了一份馬拉巴岩洞事件的說明書,指出野餐之旅的路線以及營地的位置,也就是「匕首水池」的旁邊。
達斯先生對於這份說明書很感興趣。
按:Plan是「地圖」、「示意圖」,不是「說明書」;Archæology漏譯。
*
The Superintendent moved to the support of his friends, saying nonchalantly to the Magistrate as he did so, "Right, I withdraw."
同胞們的力挺,讓麥克布利德先生有點感動,但他最後還是冷冷地對達斯先生說:「好,我不問了。」
按:此處moved是主動式,所以是「移動」,不是被動式的「感動」。我譯為:「(一團混亂中)警長趕著去支援朋友,心不在焉地回了推事一句:『好,我撤銷。』」
*
"Cyril, Cyril, don't leave me," called the shattered voice of Aziz.
「費爾汀先生,費爾汀先生,請不要離開我!」不遠處傳來阿吉茲顫抖的聲音。
按:這是阿吉茲醫生第一次直呼費爾丁的名字。從費爾丁先生、費爾丁到Cyril,可見兩人關係愈趨親近,故宜譯為「西瑞」。
*
…moreover, he had great possessions and deprecated anarchy.
再說,勇士大公向來非常自制,討厭混亂的無政府狀態。
按:had great possessions是「非常富有」,不是「非常自制」。
*
“…I still jog on without it, but what a temptation, at forty-five, to pretend that thedead live again; one's own dead; no one else's matter.”
「但我還是不相信那種東西,繼續過我的日子。然而以我現在四十五歲的年紀來說,死人能夠復活這種事聽起來當然很誘人。我是說,如果我死了還可以復活的話。其他人的死活與我無關。」
按:one's own dead是「自己認識的人」,不是費爾丁自己。後文會提到費爾丁有位已逝的女性知己。費爾丁travels light,死生已置於度外矣。
*
"Not the Turtons' ?" said Hamidullah, goggle-eyed.
「妳不住特爾頓夫婦家了嗎?」哈米杜拉不以為然地翻白眼。
按:goggle-eyed是「把眼睛瞪得像蛙鏡那麼大」,不是「翻白眼」。
*
The new Civil Surgeon is the same as the last, but does not yet dare to be.
新來的英國駐印醫生和前任一樣,不敢有什麼大膽的作為。
按:我譯為:新來的國民醫生和前任一個樣,但目前還不敢那麼囂張。
*
They wandered over the old fort, now deserted, and admired the various views. The scenery, according to their standards, was delightful…
阿吉茲和三個孩子繼續往前走到碉堡。這座碉堡已經廢棄多年,但是這裡的景致依舊讓人讚嘆不已。依他們的審美標準,這裡的風景非常宜人……
按:admired the various views不是「這裡的景致依舊讓人讚嘆不已」。我譯為:他們漫步走向老舊荒廢的碉堡,嘆賞豐富的景色。依他們的標準,這風景算得上讓人心曠神怡。
*
His timidity and evident "newness" had complicated effects on the malcontent.
勞夫.摩爾有點羞怯。他顯然是初次來到印度的菜鳥,還在適應環境,所以帶著一種不開心的複雜情緒。
按:the malcontent是指摩爾面前的阿吉茲醫生。「還在適應環境」為譯者妄加。我譯為:他怯生生的、顯然初來乍到的樣子,讓心懷怨懟的醫生感到五味雜陳。
*
"Aough——"
"What is the matter, pray?"
「啊嗚——」
「怎麼了?你在禱告嗎?」
按:Pray再次譯錯。