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我提早十五分鐘到校，手裡提著早餐袋，牛奶已經不熱了。我習慣喝溫的，但今天一早媽媽只輕聲對我說：「妳得專心聽，甜甜，校方會問很多話。」語氣輕飄飄的，卻像昨晚在地下訓練場拿刀柄敲我肩膀的聲音一樣重。
我站在行政大樓的門口，手心是微微的汗。鞋子底下的地毯被太陽曬得有點膨，有一種說不清的軟。左膝的傷口已經不會痛，但在我每次跨出步伐前，它還是像要提醒我什麼似的，微微抽了一下。
就在我打算推門進會議室前，我的手機震了一下。是eMessage群組【Five Rainbows🌈 】跳出好幾十則未讀訊息，幾乎都是剛剛幾分鐘內炸出來的。
🐬Rhea：Oye, ¿es verdad ? ¿Por fin llegó Xiaotian a la escuela hoy ?
🐻Dani：I just saw the list of freshmen‘s meeting announced by the school , and her name is really on it !!
🦊Melody：Fuck... I always thought... she might not be able to come back...
🐻Dani：No, no, my tears have fallen.🥹🥹
🐬Rhea：Realmente quiero abrazarla ahora. Debe haber trabajado duro para llegar aquí...
我盯著那些文字，看得有點模糊。
我沒馬上回，只緩緩輸入了一句：“ I’m here, and I‘m still standing firmly. You guys wait for me ! “
點送出那瞬間，群組跳出一連串貼圖和「嗚嗚嗚」的留言，還有Dani直接傳了一張她在廁所偷哭的自拍照給我看。
我心口一震，然後嘴角像被什麼牽了一下，輕輕勾起來。
我吸了口氣，用左手握住門把，推了進去。
會議室不大，冷氣開得很強，有股淡淡的柑橘味。牆上有三面都是落地窗，陽光從百葉窗隙間落下來，一道一道斜斜地投在桌面上。天花板的燈沒開，整個空間明亮卻帶點清冷。
最先看見的是校長。他站起來，戴著銀框眼鏡，穿著藏青色西裝，領帶像什麼都沒皺過。
“ Hello, classmate Wang. I‘m Principal James. Welcome to our school. ”
我點點頭，” Good morning, sir. “
旁邊還坐著一個女老師，應該是輔導室的，笑起來眼角有細細的紋。“ Classmate Wang, I‘m Ms. Clara, if you have any difficulties in adapting in your study, I will accompany you to deal with it. “
她的聲音像冬天曬過的棉被那樣溫柔。
” I can cope with the course. “我輕聲說。
另一位老師則是體育組長，Michael老師。他一看見我資料就眼睛一亮：“ 600-meter hurdles ? Our women‘s team has been waiting for you for three days. “
我點點頭，笑了一下。” I‘m used to running in the morning, and I can also jump the hurdles. “
” Great, we just don‘t have anyone to participate in the Beverly Hills District School Joint Competition. “他翻著筆記本，念出一連串時間表。
媽媽坐在我左邊，雙腿交疊，穿著米色風衣，一動不動地看著桌上的名冊。她的臉沒有任何表情，像從一整夜的戰術會議中抽離出來的將軍，溫柔地披了一層母親的殼。我知道她其實一直在聽，每一個老師說的每一句話、每一個停頓的呼吸。
她沒有主動開口，直到校長問：” We saw that classmate Wang had a medical record and mentioned that he had experienced some emotional trauma during his study in Beijing. I don‘t know if we need to arrange on-campus tutoring for this part ? “
那一瞬間，媽媽的手輕輕握了我的手背一下。
“ She is in a stable condition now. Our family has a complete care plan. Thank you for the school‘s considerate. “她的聲音平穩，沒有一絲起伏。
我知道，她在一邊讓我自主，也在一邊建一座不讓人過問的牆。
” It would be very helpful if the school could provide more flexible schedules, some pre-course courses and space for after-class study rooms. “我開口說，聲音比我預期中來得堅定。
Clara老師微笑，“ There is a pre-study room. You can also choose to use it during lunch break or after school. We will reserve a seat for you. I will help you track the progress of the subject every day and help you make up for the level you should have. “
我抄下時間，左手腕下的舊傷在筆尖壓過時微微發癢。
” In addition, I will join the track and field team, but I hope it will not delay the discipline arrangement. “我補了一句。
Michael老師點頭，“ No problem. The schedule of our contestants will be arranged in cooperation with the tutor, and we also have a remote make-up platform. “
我聽見媽媽的手機震了一下———她沒接，只用眼角看了一下畫面，那是我們幫派主頻道發的代碼通知。
她在我耳邊低語：「今天中午十二點，要提前出發去基地一趟，我已經讓妳請假。」
「好。」我也用氣音回她。
這樣簡單的對話，沒有任何人聽得見，但我知道那代表今天下午會有一次情報會議，可能跟芭芭拉幫的潛伏有關。我的手指有一點點握緊，卻仍舊停在校長桌上的學生資源分配表上。
” Then——— “校長看著我，” What else do you need the support of the school ? “
我沉默了幾秒，想著我的日常：每週二四晚間近戰訓練、週五幫派情報潛伏、週六槍械操演與裝備維護。這些沒有一項能讓學校知道，但我仍然需要時間與空間來安排雙重生活。
” I want to use the old equipment room of the school. “我抬頭，看著校長的眼睛。
” Your reason ? “
” I need an undisturbed place to warm up and pull up. “ I whispered, ” The air circulates there, and it‘s not noisy. “
他思索了一下，點頭。” Okay, I will ask the General Affairs Office to open the authority, as long as you don‘t destroy the facilities . “
媽媽輕輕點頭，算是結束談判的手勢。
會議持續了三十二分鐘。離開前，媽媽才站起身，對大家微笑：“ Thank you for taking care of Xiaotian. She is not a fragile child, but relatively quiet. “
我低頭拿起資料夾，一邊感覺自己的影子從陽光中拉得長長的，踩著回家的路，但我知道，真正的開始是現在。
會議結束後，我們走到停車場。媽媽打開手機，那封未讀訊息這才跳出來，是黑幫頻道的編碼指令：” At 17:15 tonight, the full tactical meeting will be transferred to the training room on the third basement floor, with the theme: the interception of port smuggling lines. “
我看了一眼她，再低聲問：「我需要參加嗎？」
「不用，妳先練跑。」她輕聲回答。
但我知道，屬於王曉甜的戰場，無論在田徑場還是在幫派，從這刻起，全都正式展開。
