
常常在聽到身邊的人問唸文學講故事有什麼用的時候,就會想到喬治・歐威爾(George [[Orwell]])所寫的《一九八四》(Nineteen Eighty-Four)。在這個故事裡的男主角溫斯頓・史密斯(Winston Smith)在買了一個玻璃包著一小片珊瑚的飾品之後,他的女朋友茱莉雅(Julia)問他說那是什麼,拿來做什麼用,溫斯頓不假思索回答「我想從來沒有人要用它來做什麼。我喜歡的就是這一點。」(歐威爾,149)(I don’t know it was ever put to any use. That’s what I like about it.)(Orwell, 129)《一九八四》所建構的世界之所以冷酷,除了破落城市天空中盤旋監視市民的直昇機,家家戶戶的公民一起床就會看到(或說是被看到)的電幕(Telescreen),政府定期安排的憎恨活動(Hate Meeting),或者是隨時有人蒸發(vaporized)於自己生活中,除了這些之外,最殘酷的想法就是「所有的事物與感覺都要有一個用處」。在這個歐威爾假想(或預言?)的年代,有勝利牌琴酒(Victory Gin)「發出一股令人作嘔的油味兒」(It gave off a sickly, oily smell...),一杯下肚,「感覺後腦勺好像挨了一記橡皮棍似的」(...had the sensation of being hit on the back of the head with a rubber club)。不過,這酒可是很有用處的,溫斯頓在喝完以後,「肚子裡火燒的感覺就消退了,眼中看到的世界也美好起來。」(歐威爾,20)(...the burning in his belly died down and the world began to look more cheerful.)(Orwell, 4),所以,酒再難喝都還可以接受,只要發揮一個喝醉以後讓自己心情不要這麼悶的功用就好,其他像是勝利牌咖啡(Victory Coffee),大概喝起來也不需要太醇,喝了清醒就好,還有勝利牌香菸(Victory Ciggerates),應該也不需要太計較菸草的香味,抽了解煙癮就好。最後,當然,尋找一個生命的伴侶,最重要的用處就是生小孩,溫斯頓與茱莉雅所擁有的愛情,或者是性愛的歡愉,自然就不能見容於這個事事講究用處的世界。
做一件事情,不問有什麼味道,先問有什麼用處,這個生命的態度,讓這本小說所描述的無形暴力,在新的千禧年,在自由世界所鄙視的極權共產國家(像中國跟北韓)之外,能夠更細膩地存在。高壓統治下的人民,受到的殘害,是顯而易見的,如同《一九八四》裡面已經被捕的溫斯頓,在歐布朗的刑求之下,曾經自傲地說,自己仍然是個人,歐布朗就把他拖到鏡子前面,讓這個「人」看看自己已經變成了什麼樣子:
“You are the last man,” said O’Brien. “You are the guardian of the human spirit. You shall see yourself as you are. Take off your clothes.”
Winston undid the bit of string that held his overalls together. The zip faster had long since been wrenched out of them. He could not remember whether at any time since his arrest he had taken off all his clothes at one time. Beneath the overalls his body was looped with filthy yellowish rags, just recognizable as the remains of underclothes. As he slid them to the ground he saw that there was a three-sided mirror at the far end of the room. He approached it, then stopped short. A invultary cry had broken out of him.
“Go on,” said O’Brien. “Stand between the wings of the mirror. You shall see the side view as well.”
He had stopped because he was frightened. A bowed, gray-colored, skeletonlike thing was coming toward him. Its actual appearance was frightening, and not merely the fact that he knew it to be himself. He moved closer to the glass. The creature’s face seemed to be protruded, because of its bent carriage. A forlorn, jailbird’s face with a nobby forhead running back into a bald scalp, a crooked nose and battered-looking cheekbones above which the eyes are were fierce and watchful. The cheeks were seamed, the mouth had a drawn-in look. Certainly it was his own face, but it seemed to him that it had changed more than he1
had changed inside. The emotions it registered would be different from the ones he felt. He had gone partially hald. For the first moment he had thought that he had gone gray as well, but it was only the scalp that was gray. Except for his hands and a circle of his face, his body was gray all over with ancient, ingrained dirt. Here and there under the dirt there were red scars of wounds, and near the ankle the varicose ulcer was an inflamed mass with flakes of skin peeling off it. But the truely frightening thing was the emaciation of his body. The barrel of the ribs was as narrow as that of a skeleton; the legs had shrunk so that the knees were thicker than the thighs. He saw now what O’Brien had meant about seeing the side view. The curveature of the spine was astonishing. The thin shoulders were hunched forward so as to make a cavity of the chest, the scraggy neck seemed to be bending double under the weight of the skull. At a guess he would have said that it was the body of a man of sixty, suffering from some malignant disease.
“You have thought sometimes,” said O’Brien, “that my face——the face of a member of the Inner Party——looks old and worn. What do you think of your own face?”
He seized Winston’s shoulder and spun him round so that he was facing him.
“Look at the condition you are in!” He said. “Look at this filthy grime all over your body. Look at the dirt between your toes. Look at that disgusting running sore on your leg. Do you know that you stink like a goat? Probably you have ceased to notice it. Look at your emaciation. Do you see? I can make my thumb and forefinger meet around your bicep. I could snap your neck like a carrot. Do you know that you have lost twenty-five kilograms since you have been in our hands? Even your hair is coming out in handfuls. Look!” He plucked at Winston’s head and brought away a tuft of hair. “Open your mouth. Nine, ten, eleven teeth left. How many had you when you come to us? And the few you have left are dropping out of your head. Look here!”
He seized one of Winston’s remaining front teeth between his powerful thumb and forefinger. A twinge of pain shot through Winston’s jaw. O’Brien had wrenched the loose teeth out by the roots. He tossed it across the cell.
“You are rotting away,” he said; “you are falling into pieces. What are you? A bag of filth. Now turn round and look into that mirror again. Do you see that thing facing you? This is the last man. If you are human, this is humanity. Now put your clothes on again.” (241-3)
「你是最後一個人類,」歐布朗說,「你是人類精神的守護者,你應該看看自己是什麼樣子。把衣服脫掉。」
溫斯頓把繫住工作服的帶子解開,工作服上的拉鍊早就被扯走了。他不記得自從被捕以來是不是曾經脫光過衣服。在工作服下面,他身上纏繞著一些骯髒發黃的破布,勉強看得出來原本是內衣褲。他把內衣褲脫下來的時候,看到房間另一邊有一個三面鏡。他走過去,但是走到一半就站住了,禁不住發出一聲驚呼。
「過去,」歐布朗說,「站在兩面鏡子中間,你就可以連側面都看到。」
他停下來是因為嚇壞了,鏡子裡面有一個彎著腰、死灰色骷髏似的東西正向他走來,那樣子本身就很嚇人,不僅僅是因為他知道那就是他自己而已。他走上前一些,鏡子裡的人由於身子佝僂,面孔顯得特別突出,那是一張淒涼如死囚般的臉,高高的額頭和禿頂連成一片,鼻子鉤曲,顴骨高高突起,上面一雙眼睛露出充滿戒備的兇光,臉頰滿是皺紋,嘴巴癟了進去。這毫無疑問是他自己的臉,但是他感到那變化比他內心的變化還大,上面顯現出的感情不是他內心感到的感情。他的頭已經禿了一半,他起初以為他的頭髮也都灰白了,其實那只是頭皮的顏色。除了雙手和臉上一圈以外,他從頭到腳都因為覆滿老垢而一片灰溜溜,污垢之下還到處有紅色的瘡疤,腳踝周圍靜脈潰瘍紅腫發炎成一片,皮膚一層一層剝落下來。但是真正嚇人的還是身體的消瘦程度,胸腔的肋骨像骷髏一樣窄,大腿瘦得比膝蓋還細。他現在明白為什麼歐布朗要他看側面,他的脊椎彎曲得可怕,瘦削的雙肩向前彎,胸口變成一個大坑,皮包骨的脖子似乎吃不消頭顱的重量而彎得更加厲害。如果要他猜,他一定會說這是一個患了重病的六十歲老人的軀體。
「你有時候會想,」歐布朗說:「我的臉,一個內黨黨員的臉,看起來又老又憔悴。你對自己的臉又有什麼看法呢?」
他抓住溫斯頓的肩膀,把他轉過來面對著自己。
「看看你現在這副樣子!」他說:「看看你全身有多髒,看看你腳趾縫裡的污垢,看看你腳上噁心的爛瘡。你知道自己臭得像頭豬嗎?你大概已經注意不到了。看看你有多憔悴,你看到了嗎?我的大拇指和食指可以把你的二頭肌圈起來。我可以像折胡蘿蔔一樣把你的脖子折斷。你知道嗎,從你落入我們手中到現在已經掉了二十五公斤?連你的頭髮也在一把一把地掉。你看!」
他去扯溫斯頓的頭髮,抓了一把下來。「嘴巴張開來。還剩九、十、十一顆牙齒,你進來的時候有幾顆?剩下的這幾顆也搖搖欲墜了,你看!」
他用大拇指和食指有力地前住溫斯頓剩下的一顆門牙。溫斯頓牙床一陣劇痛,歐布朗已經把那顆鬆動的牙齒連根拔下,扔在地上。
「你正在慢慢腐爛,」他說:「你快要支離破碎了。你是什麼東西?一袋垃圾。現在再轉過去看著鏡子,你看到前面的那個東西嗎?這就是最後的一個人。如果你是人,這就是人性。現在把衣服穿回去。」(265-7)
大洋國高官歐布朗(O’Brien)這個角色迷人之處有兩個面向,第一是因為他義無反顧地殘暴,就像在這裡,在他對溫斯頓用刑好一陣子之後,這二話不說去撥掉溫斯頓頭髮,拔去溫斯頓牙齒的連續動作,很有為這冷酷世界畫龍點睛之效,而這人之所以帶有惡魔魅力的第二個原因,就是他在逮捕溫斯頓的過程裡面所展現出來的細膩,似乎這人在第一眼見到溫斯頓的時候,就知道他們必須在「光明的地方」(in the place where is no darkness)相見了。歐布朗在溫斯頓於報紙上發表的言論裡看到溫斯頓使用了兩個被淘汰的詞彙,就在辦公大樓與他「偶遇」,以翩翩的紳士風度要借給溫斯頓新出版的字典,開啟了他策反並逮捕溫斯頓的契機。其他與臥底思想警察查靈頓(Charington)互相配合的誘導方式,咖啡香味、懷舊的小店面、紙質柔和的筆記本、晶瑩剔透的玻璃裝飾品還有燒著熱開水的溫暖小房間,一點一點地佈置都是為了破壞溫斯頓內心最後的那麼一點對國家的不忠,或說那麼一點他身為人的感覺,把那份對「無用事物」不時閃現的迷戀摧毀殆盡。這些細微的步調本身帶有凜冽的智慧:跟黨為敵的,除了那些在政治上面論點不同的人,就是這些無處不在的人的感覺,雖然瑣碎,卻是對於極權最大的威脅。不過,其實這樣的間諜劇情,還有後來的極權政府對異議份子酷刑的情節,其實並不會常常出現在現代一般的中產階級生活中,可是,《一九八四》這本小說還是沒有跟這千禧年過後十八年的當代脫節,這個讚嘆喬治・歐威爾的想法,要從上面所提到的「有用」與「無用」的想法開始,歐布朗凌虐溫斯頓最重要的原因之一,就是溫斯頓陷入所謂「無用」的戀情(生不出小孩的男女關係),而這對「無用」感覺的需求也散落在溫斯頓的各種生活細節中,以一種蠻橫的方式把這需求剝奪掉,也就造成了「人」的衰敗,為了這樣的衰敗與腐朽,看到鏡子裡面的自己,溫斯頓曾自內心為自己哭泣:
Winston began to dress himself with slow stiff movement. Until now he had not seemed to notice how thin and weak he was. Only one thought stirred in his mind: that he must have been in this place longer than he had imagined. Then suddenly as he fixed the miserable rags round himself a feeling of pity for his ruined body overcame him. Before he knew what he was doing he had collapsed onto a small stool that stood beside the bed and burst into tears. He was aware of his ugliness, his gracelessness, a bundle of bones in filthy underclothes sitting weeping in the harsh white light; but he could not stop himself. (243)
溫斯頓用緩慢僵硬的動作慢慢把衣服穿上。在這之前,他從來沒有注意到自己變得多麽瘦弱,此時他腦子裡只有一個念頭:他在這個地方待的時間一定比他想像的還要久。他把那些破爛的衣料穿上身的時候,心中對自己殘敗的身體突然湧起一股憐惜之感,他不能自己地倒在床邊的一把小凳子上放聲哭起來。他心知自己的醜態,心知自己有多不雅觀,穿著骯髒內衣褲的一副骨頭坐在刺眼白色燈光下哭泣,可是他控制不住自己。(267)
面對一個「談戀愛有什麼用?你又不生小孩!」「念這科系有什麼用?以後又找不到賺錢的工作!」「聽故事有什麼用?倒不如多兼幾個差事多賺點錢!」還有「唸文學有什麼用?什麼都會講,都還比不上一個醫師替人看病,農夫種東西給人吃還有漁夫出海捕魚!」這樣的一個龐大的價值觀,在為了生活低頭折腰的當下,某個內心深處的破敗自我形象就應運而生,可能在任何獨處的時候,沒有他人想法影響的時刻,在鏡子裡與自己黯然對望,引起自己對自己最誠心的哀悼。台灣歌手蔡琴於一九九一年發行的專輯《太陽出來了》裡面有一首單曲〈我聽見我的心在哭〉,歌詞描述的大概就是這樣的心境,由蔡琴渾厚而有層次的女低音唱出來就很有感覺:
鎖上燈 關上門 黑暗裡只剩我和我獨處
白天那個與我同名同姓的人 所做的事我都不在乎
做不愛做的事 愛不該愛的人 天天重覆
記得巳有很久不曾為誰痛哭 所有的苦都當做過渡
我聽見我的心在哭 如此遙遠卻如此清楚
我聽見我的心在哭 像孩子一樣的無助
人的世界盲盲目目忙忙碌碌 在人群中隨著沉沉浮浮
每個人都慌慌張張倉倉促促 誰又能去說 自己在乎
這類歌曲就是屬於我們這個世代的歌謠,在描述我們自己生活困境的同時,也與經典裡面狂野的想像力互相應對。「所有的苦都當作過渡」應對的就是溫斯頓所喝的那杯不好喝的琴酒,隨時需要這麼一個(過渡的)悶棍打在頭上,來得到一個「有用」的麻痺感,看淡眼前這些「不愛做的事」,「不該愛的人」,朝著大家覺得更「有用」的世界走去。這棍頭打到後來,可能就是溫斯頓在歐布朗的逼迫之下看到的自我。
台灣電影導演(其實原籍是馬來西亞)蔡明亮於一九九四年執導的作品《愛情萬歲》裡面也有一個為自己哭泣的情節。楊貴媚所扮演的電影女主角,在電影快結束的時候,與扮演男主角之一的陳昭榮發生過一夜情之後,穿著高跟鞋踏過一個台北的類似公園的地方,這地方本來應該要很美,可是在台北市處處都要蓋新的東西的氛圍之下,周遭的地面都是還在施工處理的狀態之下(台北市永遠的過渡時期),高跟鞋敲打地面的機械式聲音一直持續到楊貴媚找到一個地方可以坐下來,然後開始了她整部電影裡最真誠的一段台詞:哭泣,哭泣,不停地哭泣,也許是為這個故事裡面不曾出現過的愛情的一份最真誠的哀悼。這女主角做的工作是房屋仲介。在她這樣一次又一次地推銷房子,好像這些房子真的能給予人一個安定的心情,最諷刺的一件事情就是這女生從來沒辦法安定下來,在她自己住的房子裡面(就連想放鬆下來洗個熱水澡都不順心:瓦斯爐不給力),還有她所找到的男人懷抱中(陳昭榮演的這一夜情的對象四處擺攤的形象很適合說明楊貴媚的流離失所),都是一個接著一個的「過渡」,就如蔡琴所唱的那樣「做不愛做的事/愛不該愛的人/天天重覆/記得巳有很久不曾為誰痛哭/所有的苦都當做過渡」,這時對應另外一個由李康生所演的男主角,這到處寄宿樣品屋卻兜售著靈骨塔的角色,反而靈骨塔比楊貴媚所賣的這些豪宅還要像個真正的家,至少這還是一個真的能讓人安心下來,「不需要再繼續過渡下去」的平靜地點。這就是現代生活與死亡的弔詭對應,講究「用處」的世界充滿了正當性,但是在高跟鞋敲打水泥地的聲音空隙之間總是閃現著荒涼的景色,那也是自己內心某個最真實的景色,值得找個地方,為自己不可逃避的已然殘破好好哭泣一番。
而這份因用處而產生的殘破感,發生在我們每天使用的語言上,會是一個怎樣的狀況?簡單說來,天天在使用的語言,以最粗魯卻也最「合理」的方式來說,也不過是個溝通用的工具,所以討論語言的正確學問態度,就是要研究語言是要怎麼「應用」,而不是思考自己對這個語言有什麼感覺。《一九八四》裡面另一個很有魅力的角色,除了悲情的溫斯頓與茱莉亞,還有精明殘酷到非常優雅的大洋國高官歐布朗之外,就是在小說前半部埋首研究新話(Newspeak)字典的賽姆(Syme),他在食堂裡興致勃勃拿著餐盤跟溫斯頓介紹自己的工作,講出來的話應該可以說是「語言只是個工具」這類想法的極端版本:詞彙夠用就好,多餘的字,多餘的想法,只會造成語言使用者的麻煩。
It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. Of course the great wastage is in the verbs and adjectives, but there are hundreds of nouns that can be got rid of as well. It isn’t only the synonyms; there are also antonyms. After all, what justification is there for a word which is simply the opposite of some other words? A word contains its opposite in itself. Take ‘good,’ for instance. If you have a word like ‘good,’ what need is there for a word like ‘bad’? ‘Ungood’ will do just as well—better, because it’s an exact opposite, which the other is not. Or again, if you want a stronger version of ‘good,’ what sense is there in having a whole string of vague useless words like ‘excellent’ and ‘splendid’ and all the rest of them? ‘Plusgood’ covers the meaning, or ‘doubleplusgood’ if you want something stronger still.
銷毀詞彙是一件很美妙的事。最沒用的當然就是動詞與形容詞,不過名詞也有好幾百個是可以廢除的,不只是同義詞,還有反義詞也是。說真的,一個詞如果只不過是另一個詞的反面,又有什麼理由存在呢?一個詞本身就包含了自己的反面,拿『好』(good)這個字來說,你已經有一個『好』字,怎麼還會需要『壞』字呢?用『非好』(ungood)就行了,甚至還更適合。因為它是『好』的正反,別的字都不是。再比如,你如果要一個比『好』更強的字眼,為什麼需要『傑出』、『出色』等等含糊不清的無用詞彙呢?『加好』(plusgood)就包含這個意思了,如果還要強一點,就用『倍加好』(doubleplusgood)。(歐威爾,61)
賽姆說明政府縮減語言的方式,雖然邏輯連貫,卻與他自己興致濃厚的態度明顯矛盾,簡單來說,他在製作新話字典這個工作上居然做出興趣出來了,居然說這是「美妙的事」(a beautiful thing),這跟新話這種「你只能把語言當作一個工具」的機制互相違背,所以難怪在小說的後半段他會被消失。而且就因為他學術上的興致高昂(有點像是柏拉圖講的伊安的反文學版本),他也看透了這個行為的政治性目的,這也與大洋國政府的愚民政策相違背,字詞當中被削減、遺忘掉的,不只是定義,而是一個人的獨特感覺,對這個世界獨特的、屬於自己的感知與思考方式,就如同賽姆興匆匆在向溫斯頓展示的做學問態度一樣:
Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidery meaning rubbed out and forgotten. (Orwell, 46)
你難道不懂,新話的整個目的就是要縮小思想範圍嗎?最後我們將使思想罪不可能再發生,因為不會有詞彙可以表達。每一個必要用到的概念,將只用一個詞來表達,這個詞有嚴格的定義,所有附帶含義都被消除,然後遺忘。(歐威爾,62)
賽姆與溫斯頓在一個極其簡陋的員工餐廳裡進行這些新話的討論,這個餐廳的樣子,給了賽姆滔滔雄辯的內容一個清晰的圖像:
A low-ceilinged, crowded room, its walls grimy from the contact of innumberable bodies; battered metal tables and bent spoons, dented trays, coarse white mugs; all surfaces greasy, grime in every crack; and a sourish, composite smell of bad gin and bad coffee and metallic stew and dirty clothes. (Orwell, 52)
這是一間天花板低矮、擠得滿滿的空間,牆壁因為無數人體的接觸而發黑;破舊的鐵桌椅排得很近,大家坐下時免不了手肘相碰;湯匙彎曲、餐盤凹凸,杯子粗糙;所有東西表面都油膩膩,每一道裂縫裡都藏著污垢;空氣裡瀰漫著一股劣質琴酒、下等咖啡、有鐵味的燉菜和髒衣服混合起來的酸臭味。(歐威爾,68)
賽姆這個角色與這個餐廳相輔相成,構成了《一九八四》的準確度:自食物至語言,一個執著於「用處」的世界,處處皆是這樣的空間,一個配合著勝利牌產品充斥著低劣感官經驗的地方。以整個故事結構看來,溫斯頓與茱莉雅用他們的愛情(無用的情慾)在對抗這些惡劣的空間感,另一方面,若以比較微觀的方式觀察這個假想的冷酷世界,溫斯頓對於一些無用物品的描述,會在這個故事裡點燃一點溫暖的感覺。這感覺起始於一本筆記本,經過一個無用的玻璃紙鎮,終於一個古董店閣樓的小房間:
It was a peculiarly beautiful book. Its smooth creamy paper, a little yellowed by age, was of a kind that had not been manufactured for at least forty years past. He could guess, however, that the book was much older than that. He had seen it lying in the window of a frowsy little junk shop in a slummy quarter of the town…and had been stricken immediately by an overwhelming desire to possess it. (Orwell, 5)
這是一本特別精美的本子,它那光滑的乳白色紙張,因年代久遠而有些泛黃,是一種至少有四十年未見生產的紙張。他是在市區裡一個貧民窟。。。的一間發出霉味的舊貨舖看到它躺在櫥窗裡,他一眼就看上了,極度想要得到它。(歐威爾,21)
紙張的細緻質地是重點,它讓溫斯頓有一個空間可以寫下一堆沒有標點符號的句子記述自己無聊的一天,好幾個句子在講「打倒老大哥」,最後以「思想罪不會帶來死亡,思想罪本身就是死亡」等等句子來作結,這些想法不僅是無用,甚至還會讓溫斯頓身陷險境。可是,好像在這個他能夠接受(甚至是想要去擁抱)的質感中,他找到了可以抒發自我的空間,一個溫斯頓必須背對著電幕(背對著一個處處要求「用處」的世界),偷偷去書寫、思考與感受的空間。同樣的感覺出現在溫斯頓同樣是在這家「發霉的舊貨舖」(frowsy little junk shop)買的玻璃紙鎮上:
It was a heavy lump of glass, curved on one side, flat on the other, making almost a hemisphere. There was a peculiar softness, as of rainwater, in both the color and the texture of the glass. At the heart of it, magnified by the curved surface, there was a strange, pink, convoluted object that recalled a rose or a sea anemone.
“What is it?” Said Winston, fascinated.
“That’s coral, that is,” said the old man. “It must have come from the Indian Ocean. They used to kind of embed it in the glass. That wasn’t made less than a hundred years ago. More, by the look of it.”
“It’s a beautiful thing,” said Winston.
“It is a beautiful thing,” said the other appreciatively. “But there’s not many they’d say so nowadays.” He coughed. “Now, if it so happened that you wanted to buy it, that’d cost you four dollars. I can remember when a thing like that would have fetched eight pounds, and eight pounds was…well, I can’t work it out but it was a lot of money. But who cares about genuine antiques nowadays…even the few that’s left?”
Winston immediately paid over the four dollars and slid the coveted thing into his pocket. What appealed to him about it was not so much its beauty as the air it seemed to possess of belonging to an age quite different from the present one. The soft, rain-watery glass was not like any glass that he had ever seen. The thing was doubly attractive because of its apparent uselessness, though he could guess that it must once have been intended as a paper weight. (Orwell, 84-5)
那是一塊很厚的玻璃,上圓下平,差不多是個半球形。那玻璃無論色澤和質地,都特別柔和,像雨水一般。玻璃中央嵌著一塊粉紅色捲曲的奇怪東西,在玻璃表面的弧度之下放大了,看起來像一朵玫瑰,又像海葵。
「這是什麼?」溫斯頓問,深深受到吸引。
「這是珊瑚,」老店主說:「應該是印度洋出產的。他們喜歡把它嵌在玻璃裡面,這至少是一百年以前的東西了,看起來可能還不止。」
「很漂亮的東西。」溫斯頓說。
「的確是很漂亮的東西,」老店主人欣賞地說:「不過現在識貨的人很少了。」他咳了一下。「如果你真的想要,就算你四塊錢吧。我記得這樣的東西以前可以賣八鎊,而八鎊是。。。呃,我也不會算,不少錢就是了。可是現在誰還懂真正的古董?就連剩下不多那些,也沒人懂。」
溫斯頓馬上付了四塊錢,把這心愛的東西揣進口袋裡。吸引他的倒不是這東西很漂亮,而是他似乎有一種不屬於這個時代的氣息,他從來沒有見過這麼柔和、像雨水般的玻璃。讓這東西更加吸引人的,是它看起來沒有什麼用處,不過他猜想得到,以前一定是拿它當紙鎮用的。
在這段購買玻璃紙鎮的場景中,很有趣的一個描述是那塊小小的珊瑚「在玻璃表面的弧度之下放大了」(magnified by the curved surface),這個飾品,實際上放大的是他自己的存在,或者更準確地說,放大了他對外界的種種感覺,而這些感覺是過去在電幕的監視之下必須「消除」(rubbed out)與「遺忘」(forgotten)的東西(借用賽姆的觀察)。而這個玻璃紙鎮所創造出來的空間感,常常被溫斯頓拿來連結他跟茱莉亞共處的那個舊貨店房間:
Beside the window the enormous bed was made up, with ragged blankets and a coverless bolster. The old-fashioned clock with the twelve-hour face was ticking away on the mantelpiece. In the corner, on the gateleg table, the glass paper-weight which he had bought on his last visit gleamed softlu out of the half-darkness. (121)
窗戶旁邊的那張大床已經鋪好了,上面蓋了粗毛毯,還沒有枕頭套的枕頭;刻著十二個小時的老鐘在壁爐上滴答滴答地走著;角落裡那張折疊桌上,他上次買的那枚玻璃紙陣在半明半暗中發出柔和的光芒。(140)
隨著故事的進行,溫斯頓把自己與茱莉亞比喻為這塊嵌在玻璃中的珊瑚,最清楚的一次比喻,出現在他與茱莉亞第一次於舊貨店閣樓上的幽會,在他喝完茱莉亞自黨高層走私出來的非勝利牌香醇咖啡之後:
Winston did not get up for a few minutes more. The room was darkening. He turned over toward the light and lay gazing into the glass paperweight. The inexhaustibly interesting thing was not the fragment of coral but the interior of the glass itself. There was such a depth of it, and yet it was almost as transparent as air. It was as though the surface of the glass had been the arch of the sky, enclosing a tiny world with its atmosphere complete. He had the feeling that he could get inside it, and that in fact he was inside it, along with the mahogany bed and the gateleg table and the clock and the steel engraving and the paperweight itself. The paperweight was the room he was in, and the coral was Julia’s life and his own, fixed in a sort of eternity at the heart of the crystal. (Orwell, 130)
溫斯頓又躺了幾分鐘才起來。房間裡慢慢地暗下來,他轉身對著光線,躺在那裡定定注視著那枚玻璃紙鎮。教人百看不厭的不是那塊珊瑚,而是玻璃內部本身,看起來是如此深邃,同時又幾乎像空氣一般透明,好像玻璃弧形的表面就是蒼穹,圈起了一個小小世界,連大氣層都一應俱全。他覺得自己好像能夠進到裡面,而事實上他的確就在裡面,連同紅木大床、折疊桌、老鐘、版畫,還有紙鎮本身,也都在裡面。那紙鎮就是他置身的房間,而珊瑚則是他和茱莉亞的生命,嵌在水晶球中心的永恆空間裡。 (歐威爾,150)
這個自我與珊瑚連結再度出現,則是在舊貨店老店主查靈頓對溫斯頓與茱莉亞揭露自己思想警察的身份,這對悲情情侶被逮捕的那個當下:
There was another crash. Someone had picked up the glass paperweight from the table and smashed it to pieces on the hearthstone.
The fragment of coral, a tiny crinkle of pink like a sugar rosebud from a cake, rolled across the mat. How small, thought Winston, how small it always was! (198)
這時又聽見一陣碎裂聲,有人拿起桌上的玻璃紙鎮,在壁爐底石上摔得粉碎。
那一小團粉紅色的、像蛋糕上的玫瑰花蕾糖霜的珊瑚碎片,在席子上滾了開去,溫斯頓心想,多麽小的一片,一直都是多麽小的一片啊!(217)
在這「又」(another)一聲碎裂聲之前,是一個住在老房間不遠處的一個大嬸的慘叫聲,這個大嬸在思想警察行動之前,正在一邊曬衣服一邊唱著歌,溫斯頓在老房間的窗邊看著她臃腫的身材很有活力地在陽光下活動,覺得她很美,溫斯頓甚至覺得,跟這婦人的活力比起來,他們這些一天到晚在講「這有什麼用」的有產階級,就跟死人一樣。在冷酷的實用主義(後來集體進化成為共產主義,也許是柏拉圖的理想國主義的具體呈現)面前,個人的空間粉碎,自我再度渺小,這樣的想像力與文學的處境關聯為何?賽姆的言論強化了語言的實用價值,鈍化了語言給人的質感,大量消減詞語之後的新話不只讓人無法表達自己的想法,更重要的是找不到準確的詞彙表現自己的感覺或是描述自己的處境,已經失語很久的溫斯頓,本來藉由精美的筆記本、柔和的玻璃飾品、以及溫暖的閣樓房間漸漸地找到方式去思考與欣賞周遭的事物,可是這個能力後來仍被強大的政治力摧毀殆盡,而這個狀況其實也常常發生在「唸文學(與藝術)又有什麼用」的新千禧年,某種蠻力,儘管已經失去了政治實體的壓制作為,仍然以更幽微的方式,橫挭在每個想要更了解、更欣賞、或是更知道如何運用自我感知(尤其是語言上)的人格成長道路上。在《備忘錄》中,談論到文字的「準」,卡爾維諾〔I. [[Calvino]]〕先生的一段話,拿來與歐威爾的賽姆所講的那段語言消滅論一起讀,就會有一種奇妙的感覺
It sometimes seems to me that a pestilence has struck the human race in its most distinctive faculty—that is, the use of words. It is a plague afflicting language, revealing itself as a loss of cognition and immediacy, an automatism that tends to level out all expression into the most generic, anonymous, and abstract formulas, to dilute meanings, to blunt the edge of expressions, extinguishing the spark that shoots out from the collision of words and new circumstances.
At this point, I don’t wish to dwell on the possible sources of this epidemic, whether they are to be sought in politics, ideology, bureaucratic uniformity, the monotony of the mass media, or the way the schools dispense the culture of the mediocre. What interests me are the possibilities of health. Literature, and perhaps literature alone, can create the antibodies to fight this plague in language. (56)
有時候,我覺得人類最特出的才能——即用字遣詞的能力——似乎感染了一種瘟疫。這種瘟疫困擾著語言,其徵狀是缺乏認知與臨即感,變成一種自動化反應,所有的表現化約為最一般性、不具個人色彩、而抽象的公式,沖淡了意義,鈍化了表現的光芒,熄滅了文字與新狀況碰撞下所迸放的火花。
在此,我並不想去探討文字傳染病的可能來源,不管這該歸究於政治、意識形態、官僚體系的一元化、大眾媒體的壟斷、或是學校散播平庸文化的方式。我感興趣的是健康的可能性。文學,而且可能只有文學才能產生抗體,抵禦這種語言的瘟疫。(85)
某種程度說來,卡爾維諾的這段話是對語言的一種哀悼,在語言的範疇之中,對自己可能因為現實壓迫而出現的粗糙自我所產生的警惕。而在歐威爾於《一九八四》建構起來的極細緻極權世界裡面,這「文字傳染病的可能來源」(...possible sources of this epidemic)當然就是老大哥的政府,主要的力量來源就是那一股把「沒用」的事物(字詞,連帶個人的感覺)銷毀殆盡(「變成一種自動化反應」,automatism)的執著力量,在歐威爾大部分的預言已經實現的這個千禧年,這病源可能就潛伏在媒體影像對生活中所有事物的單一解讀裡、在大家努力唸書考公務員的焦慮裡、或是在努力把知識變無聊並且努力恐嚇學生你如果不被社會給利用你就一無是處的學校教育裡。以《一九八四》的象徵意義來說,一個人自己孤獨的生命感,也就是這實用主義亟欲摧毀的事物。這生命感是一個空間,在這空間裡面沒有勝利牌咖啡跟琴酒,只有沒用的玻璃紙鎮,紙色柔和的筆記本,只供與愛人翻雲覆雨的床鋪,還有在牆上慢慢轉動的老鐘。這個空間也許隨時被打碎,如同溫斯頓與茱莉亞被逮捕時看到的那些散落的晶亮碎片,也許隨時被利用,如同思想警察查靈頓與歐布朗操弄之下的舊貨店,無論如何,它仍是一個確認自我存在的出發點,一個藉由口語與文字敘述,可以讓自己舒適地思考自我處境的地方,就如同溫斯頓在老房間裡面閱讀的感覺一樣:
Winston stopped reading, chiefly in order to appreciate the fact that he was reading, in comfort and safety, He was alone: no telescreen, no ear at the keyhole, no nevervous impulse to glance over his shoulder or cover the page with his hand. The sweet summer air played against his cheek. From somewhere far away there floated the faint shouts of children: in the room itself there was no sound except the insect voice of the clock. He settled deeper into the armchair and put his feet up on the fender. It was bliss, it was eternity. (164)
溫斯頓不再讀下去,想享受這種在舒適且安全的環境下讀書的感覺。他獨處一室:沒有電幕,鑰匙孔沒有耳朵,沒有忍不住要回頭張望或用手遮住書頁的神經兮兮。夏日甜甜的風輕輕拂著他的兩頰,遠處隱約飄來小孩子的叫聲,房間裡面除了老鐘的滴答之外,一片鴉雀無聲。他往沙發中一沉,把腳擱在壁爐擋架上,這就叫幸福,這就叫永恆。(183-4)
溫斯頓的閱讀時刻,伴隨著那片被玻璃擴大影像的小珊瑚,給卜倫教授〔Dr. [[Bloom]]〕所說的閱讀「是為了擴大個人孤獨的存在」(728)(enlarge a solitary existence)(484)畫下了一幅很精確的插圖。若說接下來的思考要有一個方法論,為了寫一本屬於自己的文學備忘錄,要用一個統整的方法去回答自己心目中的文學與說故事是怎麼一回事,一個不受打擾的「舒適空間」的比喻會是一個很好的起點。過去閱讀過的作品,聽過的故事,看過的漫畫與電影,經歷過的事件,甚至就只是在忙碌生活裡擦肩而過的面孔與隻字片語,因為某種特殊的原因(某種特殊的與自己感官接觸的方式)存留在記憶裡,就像留在自己的房間裡面、讓人感覺自在的小事物。而這些記憶遲早要以語言的形式(最無用的語言形式,若硬是要這形式變得「有用」,自我的某個部份可能就會像賽姆所待的那個餐廳一樣腐化,或如被歐布朗所凌虐過的溫斯頓那樣殘破)述說給他人與自己聆聽,說服包含自己在內的這些聆聽者,某個「我」,不管對別人來說到底是有用還是沒用,在每個生活的當下都能構築一個特殊的符碼空間,去思考這些字句裡事物的輕盈(沈重)、迅捷(緩慢)、準確(模糊)、明顯(陰暗)、以及繁複(簡約)特質,來辨認哪些記憶,哪些房間裡面的小事物,足以支持自己與自己的生活展開最真誠的對話,即便這對話的形式有可能只是哭泣。