從電影《你好》看養育關係/Ways of Nurturing
幼年的我，是很喜歡被植物圍繞的人，總是開心地帶了一群盆栽回家，然後看著他們離開，家人總是說「你可以不要再殺生了嗎？」(苦笑）
雖然我很不解，別人都可以照顧得茁壯結果(我爸爸特別厲害)，但一而再地發生後，縱使有疑惑也不得不放手，後來，我看到再喜歡的植物，也只敢遠遠欣賞，並且每次都在心裡納悶到底為什麼無法擺脫黑手指的命。
今年偶然步上療癒師之路後，開始稱讚植物、跟他們對話，也能每天看著他們的變化，至因緣際會看了電影「你好」，心裡完整地被觸動，因此想來分享紀錄一下開始與植物溝通之旅。
我還以為他們能自己好好長大，所以才給了上等的肥料。
說出這句台詞的，是一位痛失女兒的母親，是一位麻木照顧著女兒留下的盆栽的母親，是一位忙於工作疏忽女兒而失去摯愛的母親。電影並未描繪這段背景，僅從這位母親的台詞與失落，可以見到，雖然因爲女兒離開後，她懂得不過度執著於工作了，但還是一直沒弄懂養育與關愛的方式，直到她遇見了下一個同樣因爲沒受到關愛而自殺未遂的孩子，從孩子口中輕鬆淡然道出的
「要是沒有人關心的話，再怎麼養都會死掉的。」
才明白了一切。
其實本質上所悟到的，借鏡至養育任何生命都如此適用。
這不就是現今好多汲汲營營的父母的縮影嗎？
電影鋪陳平平淡淡地，卻能重重擊中許多為人父母、或子女的心境。
我以為種了植物，提供水、陽光與肥料就可以了；
我以為養了，沒餓著、請最好的老師就好了⋯⋯
那為什麼他要來當你的孩子呢？跟在別人家不同嗎？
其實你一直都知道的，是日常累積的對話、互動，才讓感情成為感情，才讓關係與眾不同，才讓這份獨一無二的關係成為養份的 —彼此的養份。只是我們都容易在社會的步調裡，在眾多的當下選擇了另一條路，省事又看似有效率的那條，因爲我們很忙，因爲我們告訴自己我很忙，忙著對你更好 ，也忙著說服自己這是對的。
十分鐘也好，每天都記得親近你最愛的靈魂 (包含你自己喔)。
延伸閱讀：
電影《你好 (안녕하세요. Good Morning)》-
「我還以為他們能自己好好長大，所以才給了上等的肥料。」
I thought they could grow well on their own, so I gave them high-quality fertilizer.
나도 저들이 제대로 자라줄 줄 알았어서 상급비료를 주었어.
「只是一直施肥也沒有用，多關心他們一點，就會知道他們要表達什麼、需要什麼了。」
Just giving them fertilizer all the time is useless. If you pay more attention, you'll know what they're trying to express and what they need.
계속해서 비료를 주는 것도 소용이 없어. 좀 더 신경 써주면 그들이 무엇을 표현하고, 무엇이 필요한지 알게 될 거야.
「植物就像是人類一樣，只要好好關心他們，他們就會表達自己需要什麼。」
Plants, like humans, will express what they need if you take care of them properly.
식물도 인간처럼, 제대로 돌봐주면 자기가 필요한 걸 표현할 거야.
「多注意一下就好了，只是曬個太陽就長這麼大了。」
Pay a bit more attention. Just getting some sun made them grow this big.
좀 더 신경 써봐. 그냥 햇볕 몇 번 내리니까 이렇게 커지더라.
「要是沒有人關心的話，再怎麼養都會死掉的。」
If no one cares, they'll die no matter how much you nurture them.
아무도 신경 안 쓰면 어떻게 키워도 죽어버릴 거야.
#慈悲同理 #電影推薦 #發聲 #關係 #植物溝通
When I was a kid, I loved being surrounded by plants.
I would happily bring home a bunch of potted plants, turned out watching them wither away.
My families always said, "Can you please stop killing plants?" (wry smile...)
Even though I couldn't understand why others could nurture plants so well (especially my dad, who was a plant wizard), after multiple failed attempts, I had to let go, despite my confusion still unsolved.
Later on, I could only admire my favorite plants from a distance, wondering why I couldn't escape the fate of having a "black thumb."
This year, by chance, I ventured into the path of becoming a healer.
I started praising and talking to plants, observing their daily changes.
After watching the Korean movie "Good Morning", I was deeply moved and started my journey of communicating with plants.
I used to think they could grow well on their own,
so I gave them the best fertilizer.
The person who said this line was a mother who had lost her daughter. She was a mother who numbly took care of the potted plants left behind by her daughter, a mother who neglected her daughter due to work and lost her beloved. The movie didn't depict this background, but from the mother's lines and sense of loss, we can see that even though she learned not to be overly attached to work after her daughter left, she still didn't understand the right way to nurture and care. It wasn't until she encountered another child who attempted suicide due to lack of care that she understood everything, as the child casually said,
"If no one cares, no matter how you raise it, it will die."
I think, what I've realized fundamentally applies to nurturing any life.
Isn't this a reflection of many busy parents today?
The movie unfolds in a simple way but hits many parents' and children's emotions profoundly.
I thought planting a seed and providing water, sunlight, and fertilizer was enough; I thought that as long as they're not hungry and have the best teacher, it's fine...
So why does he want to be your child? Is it different from being in someone else's family?
Actually, you've always known that it's the daily accumulation of conversations and interactions that make emotions real, relationships unique, and this unique relationship a nourishment—mutual nourishment.
But we often choose another path in the pace of society, the one that seems convenient and efficient, because we're busy, because we tell ourselves that we're busy, busy being better for my love, and busy convincing ourselves that it's the right thing to do.
Hey, even if it's just for ten minutes,
do remember to connect with the soul you love (including yourself) .
Every day!
