新工作出差回来有感

I feel so relieved to return to Adelaide. It is so good to be able to be back in Adelaide, to be with my wife, my son and my dear dog, and then be able to meet my friends again.

I deeply regretted that I resigned immediately when I received the offer. Had I been cautious, I should have asked for one month's leave, to leave time to observe, to compare, to make a correct decision.

This was exactly what my wife had suggested to me before, but I bluntly rejected it. Now I regret my burning the boat after crossing the river, casting away the old things that had helped me.

I admitted that I acted  as a rush man, did things on impulse and then looked back and regretted, sighing and criticizing myself.

The Medicare job shone to be good and comfortable now, while my new one is really a nightmare, that drove me to the brink of my nerve breakdown.

I had described the job at the Medicare call centre as walking in the long dark tunnel. Now, I regretted having made such a statement, and I took back what I had said.

If l had successfully located an exit out of the tunnel, then now, I fell into a pit, the Super Pit where I landed, when I did the site visit at Kalgoorlie, the mining town in Western Australia.

I was like a driver, as if in a dream, ran into the pit inadvertently, and in a minute, the truck, where I was in, turned upside down, rolled like a stone, rushed to the bottom, and finished the trip in five minutes, though the pit was deep and wide.

I had long lost my consciousness from the vertigo on my head, when I lost control of my truck and fell into this pit.

That was what I experienced when I arrived at the workshop at my new employer's office.

The woman who I feared so much was my supervisor, the admin manager. She was an excellent woman that showed her people skills and management talents everywhere.

At the very beginning, she seemed open-minded and easy- going, but very shortly, she showed me another face, easily got upset, easily offended, and then sternly asked me more questions, demanding immediate answers.

For many occasions, I could not give her a correct answer, and then she pressed me harder and harder, demanded me to do this and to do that, which generated so much stress and anxiety, that I lost confidence and struggled to know what I should do next. I felt so bewildered, that I simply looked like an idiot.

Each day in the office, I felt isolated and lost, I just wanted to tell her, sorry, this is not the job for me, I am packing up and going to the airport, I want to go home.

But alas, it took me nearly two years to find this new job. It is so difficult to find a new job in Adelaide. I had bad memories before, should I renew that memory again.

How can I face my wife, that I'll quit again? What can I say to her, that I can not work for a woman who seems unfriendly, and then I decide to leave the new job? Isn’t it ridiculous? It sounds more like a child’s play, a game for kids only.

I had been born with tender nerves and a weak vibrating heart. How I admire that I can grow with a stone heart with steel nerves, that can withhold storms.

This admin manager kept on testing me, kept on keeping me busy, and in the end, I lost my patience. I said to her, “Look, you are pushing me too hard, I am overwhelmed, and I feel stressed now. I can not remember all these details in such a short time.”

At that time, she was testing me on all the fourteen visa holders’ visa plans, after we met with them one by one, face to face, in the meeting room.

She retorted that you should have kept a good note. But after my protest, she backed down a little, and I went on reporting to her, each person with each different immigration plan, as some of them are welders, and some are fitters and other occupations, with different age range and English language skills, and for each difference, I shall report to me the different visa streams to tailor for them, for which I did, and she was satisfied and gave me the praise.

The company could not afford losing these Philippine workers. I understand that, but this admin should not exert unnecessary stress and pressure on my shoulder. I am not a strong man, I need extra time, moderation and walk with burden gradually, not just all the heavy things once for all, put on my shoulders, then I would collapse.

Released from this woman’s grip, I felt liberated, and graceful that I saw the bright sunshine in Adelaide. That mining town, I never wish to visit again.

It is remote work at home, I can temporarily accommodate this harsh woman. I disliked her  way of acting like a teacher, and treated me as her primary school student, always finding time and occasion to test me, to find faults over my work, and then blame me, and then push and push me, that trains my nerves to grow sharper and sharper. This is not good for life, isn’t it?

I shall again set on the difficult journey to eye in the pond for another opportunity, while keeping this fish to feed me to survive. Such a difficult woman to get along with, I sighed again.